Boyfriend says he doesn't love me when we fight.
Q. My boyfriend (I am 31, he is 41, together for a year)and I have been fighting a lot. We are trying to work things out. When we fight he says that he shuts down emotionally and stops feeling love towards me. He refused to say "I love you" because ...
A. 26 July 2012: I spent six years with a woman who never said, "I love you." Subsequently, I "learned" that she didn't....
Sometimes, what people DON'T say tells you all you need to know.....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Is she cheating on me?
Q. I have been with my gf for almost 9 years. Like everyone else we have ups and down but I caught her in a lie several months ago and have been suspicious ever since.she signed up for a website and I just happened to find it. I confronted her and she ...
A. 26 July 2012: I suggest you "take control" of your finances and recover the $1000 you fronted for a ring that will lead to a lifetime of angst and despair.....
Then, dump the girl....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
How do you bring up mental illness in a delicate way?
Q. I always thought something was off with my BF until recently when I found out for sure there's something very off. I found tiny, secret cameras hidden in small holes all over our apartment, my mail was opened by him, and I think he records my ...
A. 26 July 2012: I think Ciar's advice was fine Though I suggest that you read only: "... End the relationship.." Beyond that, say nothing. You (or anybody) don't OWE anyone an explanation for breaking up, except, perhaps, to say, "It just isn't working for ... (read in full...)
How do I start to get over this? I am still affected by my parents infidelity and how it made me feel as a child
Q. My question is regarding cheating parents. A few years ago, my father cheated on my mother. I am considerably younger than my siblings AND when this infidelity occurred, I was placed in the middle of the drama because of my age difference. Althou...
A. 26 July 2012: It's never a bad idea to act courteous and polite around people, regardless of what you do and don't know about them....
Your parents' marital diffulties? Forget 'em....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Should I be with my husband knowing he belongs somewhere else?
Q. pls help be4 i make a mistake im madly in love with this man my husband and i been trying to make this right from the shock of his cheating that was found out 2 weeks after we got married he was still sleeping with his ex. i have tryed to heal ...
A. 26 July 2012: It sure "sounds" as if he and the -ex are carrying some dangerous coals around.... and either could be prepared to use them to stoke a good, roaring fire..... HE has never REALLY cast his lot with you, in earnest...
YOU need to decide if you want... (read in full...)
This man wants to date with no strings attached
Q. man with bagage from last relationship just wants to hang out, no commitment, supper, movie, site seeing, sex and interrested in other women also what should i do?...
A. 25 July 2012: You have two distinct choices. To wit:
1. If his request for a "friends with benefits" situation appeals to you... then you can say, "Alright, I'm with you, let's get started."
2. If his request does NOT appeal to you, then you can say, "I'... (read in full...)
Are some people meant to be single?
Q. I have been dating a guy for 2 or 3 months now, after a shaky start when I didn't think his relationship history was great. Fast forward to now, I should have seen him twice this week but made excuse the first time and just didnt reply to message...
A. 21 July 2012: Perhaps you could adjust your question to: "Are some people meant to not be married?"
Answer: There are LOTS of people in that situation.... AND they only exacerbate their life-situation if they prevail upon themselves (and a partner!... (read in full...)
I think I am always going to be second best.
Q. Dear Cupid Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a few months now and i'm a little worried. Around a year ago he had just broken up with his last serious girlfriend of 2 and a half years and it really affected him and i know he's still a bit...
A. 21 July 2012: I'll "reply" only to the REAL question that you are asking, To wit: "...What should i do? Should I end this now?"
Yes....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
He is willing to give me up if I want a more secure relationship ...
Q. A person who doesn't like expectations and commitment in a relationship but tells you he is in love with you and the love is real and pure. Is this love or just playing games? I am in love with a person who tells me this and my relationship wit...
A. 21 July 2012: Good grief. I can't imagine how you can fail to see the dymanics, here. A guy who is MARRIED, and has a woman "on the side" (YOU!).... and who is telling you, clearly, that he's not about to change ANY aspect of the Nirvana in which he is ... (read in full...)
Action wanted, not just words!
Q. Hi fellow advice givers, I am dating my boyfriend of almost two years now and I have a few things I need help with. 1.) In all of my relationships, whether it's romantically with another guy, friends, or family, I have always been the giver an...
A. 21 July 2012: Everything in your submittal points to you selecting "taker" guys as boyfriends. Since it's happened more than once (no?) you have now conditioned yourself to have it repeat.... so you behave in the manner that you feel best protects you from the ... (read in full...)
Is he bragging or telling the truth about my Mother?
Q. ok, some advice please. i'm 19 yo male currently at home for summer from uni. At home is my mum who is single and divorced and my younger brother 15. Last night we had a party at the house for my mums 46th birthday. About 25 people came and it w...
A. 21 July 2012: I think that THIS is the crux of your submittal: "...its just wrong and it will drive me nuts!! please help me out what should i do? the way i feel right now doing nothing is not an option!"
Calm down....and consider that maybe - just maybe - ... (read in full...)
Could this proposal be too soon?
Q. So my boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months and have known each other as acquaintances for a year longer than that (so essentially 18 months). We're serious and have worked through some major life issues in a goid healthy way together ...
A. 20 July 2012: YOU can answer this question... for yourself... and it will mean much more than the answers that we (others) will give....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of 3 years popped the question unexpectedly in front of family/friends. I told him I wasn't ready and now he won't talk to me!
Q. Hey everyone So my boyfriend proposed to me last week and I know I just be happy about this but I'm not.. We have been dating for 3 years and things are goin really well until the day of propasal.. He has never spoken about marriage to me so ...
A. 20 July 2012: This reminds me of the time, in Norfolk, at Harbor Park... when a guy proposed during the "7th inning stretch"... and the "fan cam" was on them. SHE said, "H**l, no" and turned tail and left. The poor guy.... was not only TOTALLY humiliated... but ... (read in full...)
Unprotected oral sex risky?
Q. Divorced, and having casual sex for first time in life, use condoms. Realistically, what are the chances of getting a disease from giving a man unprotected oral sex? Not swallowing. I know that HIV is difficult to pass that way. And the two ...
A. 19 July 2012: I have a friend who got an STD in his eye because he was "...Looking for love in all the wrong places..."!!!!!... (read in full...)
I've lost that loving feeling, question is, why?
Q. okay i have been on this site and seeked help many a times...when i had problems with my boyfriend before..now i am in a situation that i never ever imagined i would be in. i was always loving,caring and sensitive sort of girl with my bf .now aft...
A. 19 July 2012: Ask the Righteous Brothers.... (Bill Medley and Bobby Hatfield)... they will have the answer for you........ (read in full...)
My parents are superstituous and want me to wear a necklace, but I don't share their views and I don't want to wear it! What should I do?
Q. I have a strange situation on my hands and I'm not sure how to deal with it. My parents are... very, very supersitious for lack of a better way to put it. My dad has ordered this pendant for me to wear around my neck; he has his reasons for beli...
A. 19 July 2012: Since you're a woman, is there any chance that you can placate your Father by wearing this necklace whenever you have to be in his company.... then remove it, place it in your purse, and put on your favorite necklace (secreted, previously, in your ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend goes to a friend for advice who hasn't ever had a relationship and he doesn't like me, so he always makes me the bad guy!
Q. Me and my boyfriend will been together 13 this nov but the last month just been hell, He had cheat on me and just last year he stop talking to other female but im still with him now every time we got a problem he go to his friend for advice knowing ...
A. 19 July 2012: I think you HAD a problem with this cad.... then you ADDED to that problem by taking him back in to your life after HE "committed" to an advice-wielding friend who doesn't much like you.....
The only REAL question here, in my mind, is: How long... (read in full...)
Is it over for us? Is there anything I can do to help the situation?
Q. I have been in a relationship for almost 5 1/2 years. I love my bf very much and I know he loves me. Our only big issue is marriage. About a year ago we broke up for about 4months because he wasn't sure if he was ready for marriage and I've been ...
A. 19 July 2012: Please make a follow-up submittal to tell us all how relieved you feel after you've dumped this committment-phobe, and how you're getting on with you life.... NOW on your OWN terms instead of frustrated by a guy who was stringing you along and was ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to feel hormones so strongly at this age?
Q. Well I'm 21 and lately I've been having some kind of delayed hormone surge and I was wondering if this was normal. I guess the feeling is best described as a strong sense of desire? I never felt like this as a teenager, and I have no experience, s...
A. 19 July 2012: Hang on!!!! It goes on and on until you get to menopause (your NEXT big life event)!!!!!!!
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Can you go from friends with benefits back to being friends again?
Q. Can you go from friends with benefits back to being friends again? We have known each other years, from school, but only spoke on line since. Then ended up sleeping together a couple of times recently. But then I said no more, as I am not oppose o...
A. 19 July 2012: Yes, it's possible.... so put that detail in your mental catalogue of "interesting things to know" and get on with your life.... and enjoy the friendship of this guy....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
He claims to love me and yet talks so badly to me. Is it just manipulation?
Q. I've told a controlling and manipulative husband of over 12 years that I want to leave him and he's looking for jobs in another city after trying for 3 months to convince me. As I show him a strong front but he still tries to use every opportunity ...
A. 19 July 2012: In the Battle of the Egos, which takes place during a break-up, both of the parties commonly want to be the one who can say, "There, I showed him/her....." Sounds to me like that's what's going on in your break-up.
It really makes no differen... (read in full...)
BF says causal comments that HURT, please share your thoughts on these things he's said to me!
Q. i am dating a very young guy..25..im much older but we have had a really cool connection, trust, closeness, amazing physical relationship. not for a long time, but for this summer. as i have began to fall for him, i have found myself repeatedly ...
A. 19 July 2012: I say, forget this guy's age, and consider ONLY his behaviour and speech. Would you tolerate this inconsideration in a guy who was your age or older? I suspect not.....
He sounds like he's not that much in to you.... and you'll be better o... (read in full...)
At the end of my Rope and Running out of Hope
Q. Not real good at this but I will try . I am 46 and just got a divorce after 30 yrs of Marriage . my ex left me in 2008 and I have been seeing this man who is 50 and retired . I work 5 days a week and then I come home and that is it. he stays with me ...
A. 19 July 2012: WHY would you spend even another MINUTE with this guy? He's using you, and you're miserable. What's the question?????
Good luck...... (read in full...)
How and where to set up boundaries?
Q. We've been together for a year and half and been living together for almost a year. I met him 2 years ago while he was separating from his ex. We first became great friends before we got together and I also helped him to get through the hard tim...
A. 19 July 2012: There really IS "something wrong"....and you'll be wise to figure it out before you spend much more time with... and become any more involved with.... this guy.
He's got all he wants.... a G/F who is convenient for sex.... the kids he produced... (read in full...)
Guys, what the hell? Why do you do this to us girls?
Q. I've been dating this amazingly gorgeous and super smart guy for over three months now. In the first weeks he was really into me, taking me out to dinner all the time and really affectionate with me. After two months I made the mistake of telling ...
A. 19 July 2012: The "key" to your query is this: Are you putting out for this guy?
Some of your submittal - for example: "...then this morning before work he got really grumpy with me for no reason...." - leads me to believe that you and he share an address.... (read in full...)
What are your views on strippers?
Q. Whats your view on strippers?? My boyfriend is going to be at a stag on saturday night and there is going to be 2 strippers. By that I mean one at around 8pm and then another at like 10pm. I hate this. Im insecure for starters as Im over...
A. 19 July 2012: You're in good company.... AND need to assess just why this delightful "man" of your's is content to partake of this sophomoric ritual. If'n I were you, I'd believe that it's proof positive that he doesn't much care WHAT you think.... AND, it's ... (read in full...)
I want to have sex at night but can rarely get husband to!
Q. Please help! I am a married woman, I'm 25 years old, and I've been married for 5 years. My husband and I rarely have sex. I'm the only one even trying to instigate anything. I don't think I'm that picky when it comes to sex, I like my husband to be ...
A. 18 July 2012: I suggest that you show him this submittal some time - say, tomorrow - during the AFTERNOON!!!! .. .And tell him that YOU wrote it.... and that you REALLY fancy him.... and that the details in this submittal delineate some issues that you have with ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong because I don't like my b/f texting and planning on meeting his ex?
Q. My boyfriend and I had our first big fight last night. He mentioned that he was asked to hang out with his ex. This is an ex who, a couple of months ago, has confessed she wants to give their relationship another chance, they apparently still talk ...
A. 18 July 2012: I think the key phrase in your submittal is this one:
"...I trust him,".
DON'T!!!!!!
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Is this behavior OK?
Q. Is is ok for my boyfriend to sit on his porch and have beers with his female neighbor without me, possibly go inside if the weather is too hot and have drinks with her in there?...
A. 18 July 2012: When I sit on the porch and drink beer with my female friends.... then use the heat as an excuse to go inside... you can be SURE that we AREN'T going to be working on a 1000-piece puzzle for the rest of the afternoon!!!!!!
Good luck....... (read in full...)
I'm into a guy who isn't into me and it's getting me really down. Please help!
Q. I feel so sad. I am into a guy who isn't into me and it is making me feel so so down. I know it is a waste to even care and at my old age of 38, you think I would know better. I met him a month and a half a go at a music festival he is 3...
A. 18 July 2012: ... so... the "best" thing to do is to never (EVER!) make contact with him.... and chalk this whole affair up to a learning experience that you would rather not repeat....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
He wants oral from me, but wont return the favor. Is it because of my body?
Q. hi, i am having alot of confussions about my relationship. sence i met my boyfriend he was always the quite one and shy in the group but smart about anything , and he loves things that i love , such as racing, mechanicing, etc.. i have been with my ...
A. 18 July 2012: It has NOTHING to do with you or your body or your looks or your smile...... It happens because SOME guys are real jerks.... who are out for themselves ("It's all about ME...") and they don't understand that YOU (girls) are REALLY "what it's all ... (read in full...)
He chose a girl over his two best friends!
Q. My best friend (J) is beginning to like the girl that my other best friend (R) recently broke up with. It's only been a month, she was single now, and my bud J made the move. He doesn't notice how much R is hurt by all of this, and continues to make ...
A. 18 July 2012: The lesson in all this is that GIRLS have what all of us guys want.... and the pursuit of THAT (what girls have) will lead most all of us to compromise whatever we must in order to get that which we want - and which girls have....
Take umbrage ... (read in full...)
I gave him my virginity and then he said he wasn't into me!
Q. okay so I had sex with this huy for the first time. And it was at my house and it was a very special cause he took my virginity. So anyways after that we were talking and we did it again but at his house. So the next day I told him we should stop ...
A. 18 July 2012: Unfortunately, you've learned that the stereotype of guys bedding a girl, then dumping her, are extremely accurate...
Hope you have better times in the future........ (read in full...)
He had sex with his ex. Do I forgive and forget?
Q. Ok My ex-boyfriend tryed to breakup with me, he said maybe we should be friends. But then I was saying sorry, so he said forget about everything. So he came over and I started crying, then he said he wouldn't leave me ect. Then we had sex, so then ...
A. 17 July 2012: There's enough drama in this submittal such that I am CERTAIN that you and this guy need to find other partners..
Good luck...... (read in full...)
I accused my wife of lying about being on a porn site and now she is filing divorce papers
Q. Someone please give me advice! I have recently got back with my wife after a seperation. we live seperate and have for the past two years. We decided not to sign divorce papers because we both agreed we still loved each other and our reasons for ...
A. 17 July 2012: Sometimes, you just have to admit that things aren't going just as you'd planned.... and you have to reconcile yourself to the "other" ending to the story....
You'll be fine after you and the Missus have gone your separate ways......... (read in full...)
I don't want to be married anymore! How do I tell my husband?
Q. i'm married and i'm not in love with my husbandi have know feelings for him anymore, when he touch me i don't feel anything...i don't want to be married anymore...how do i tell him that i want how of this marriage without being so blunt...
A. 17 July 2012: Think of telling him as just the same as having to remove a bandage from a sensitive/tender location. Probably the best way to do so is to get hold of the edge (of the bandage) and rip it off swiftly. There will be a sharp pain for a moment, but ... (read in full...)
Husband insists on going clubbing without wife - why
Q. So here's my problem in a nutshell I believe my husband is having a midlife crisis and I don't see a way back from this - so any advice will be appreciated. We are both in our forties and some months ago he started going out with his friends on ...
A. 17 July 2012: SVC: That's the advice that this OP needs....... (read in full...)
What does true love feel like?
Q. I dont think i have ever known true love. from your point of view what does it feel like?...
A. 17 July 2012: True love feels like lying in a pool of warm tapioca and having an unending supply of warm chocolate pudding (WITH "Cool Whip" on it) on the table next to you........ (read in full...)
Is it reasonable to want to have a wedding but not get married legally?
Q. I'm talking to my ex again and things are heading in the right direction. However, I recently inherited a lot of money so my life is going to be very different. I'm planning to travel a lot and I'm not planning to have a "real" job. I just want to ...
A. 17 July 2012: In cases of marriage between two people who bring widely different assets "in to" the marriage, it's common for the two to make a pre-nuptial agreement for exactly the reason that you wish to "avoid" or have a "sham" marriage.....
Get advice f... (read in full...)
Should I really have to train my 27 year old boyfriend how to communicate?
Q. Hey, I'm not sure what to do or think. I have dated my boyfriend for a year. and he struggles with communication. I've tried to be very patient and let him be, and let him talk more when he is ready. However a lot of issues starting coming ab...
A. 17 July 2012: rosey: You are validating what I said. There ARE guys "out there" who are well aware of what YOU are "asking"... and it's not really too much to EXPECT a guy to do a little 'cott'n to you... ESPECIALLY when you've clobbered him over the head - ... (read in full...)
My husband is very critical of my friends, what should I do?
Q. My husband doesn't understand why I keep on being friends with some of my girlfriends. More, he developed an attitude of not liking them, because of their actions. He makes negative remarks about them all the time, and with some of them I agree bu...
A. 16 July 2012: Sounds like you've got a wonderful and accomodating hubby, there.....
Re-read your submittal and ask yourself (and him): wouldn't I be better off ignoring YOU (hubby) and spending more time with my FRIENDS, who seem to be a LOT more life-aff... (read in full...)
Should I really have to train my 27 year old boyfriend how to communicate?
Q. Hey, I'm not sure what to do or think. I have dated my boyfriend for a year. and he struggles with communication. I've tried to be very patient and let him be, and let him talk more when he is ready. However a lot of issues starting coming ab...
A. 16 July 2012: "Sounds" to me like there's not so much of a "communication" problem as there is that HE is not so very interested and energetic about your "relationship" as you are.....
Re-read your submittal and see if it isn't from a woman who has a disinter... (read in full...)
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