A
female
age
30-35,
*asanovaxeja
writes:I will give you guys a back drop story first. i was in a relationship for about 1.5 years. This was my first intense romantic relationship. i loved this girl (i am a lesbian) with everything. no inhibitions nothing to stop me. As time passed, we became controlling of each other. we fought all the time. we broke up all the time, but we always came back to each other. For my then girlfriend, this was probably her fourth relationship and she knew what she was doing. She constantly thought i was cheating on her. She is the worlds biggest flirt with everyone and anyone, but i already knew this and i didnt care. eventually, we officially broke it off. We stayed close. It was as though we were emotionally still together without the title. Then she started talking to other people and honestly, it bothered me but it was whatever. Eventually, i found someone attractive and made a move. When she found out (my then gf, who was still emotionally involved with me), she physically attacked me and left me bruised and scarred. I decided that that was the last straw and moved on with my lifeNow there is this girl, the one i mentioned before. She is sweet, kind, caring, fun. She is awesome. We've been dating and its been going along smoothly. Question: why do i feel guilty about moving on? Why cant i just be happy and forget her? Could i still be in love with someone who abused me? help! i am so confused.
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broke up, flirt, lesbian Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2012): Please don't feel guilty, she didn't bring you any good and even went as far as physically attacking you. Don't feel bad for her, or think about her, she'll be fine, she doesn't deserve you. She was manipulative and controlling, this is one of the worst things you can get in relationships. Focus on your lovely new relationship.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (29 May 2012):
 I didn't bother with the middle of your submittal, because your questions are all one needs to "reply" to you....
Answer: An abusive relationship often/usually results in the ABUSED (YOU!!!!) questioning their self-worth.... and that questioning making them wonder why they can just drop and forget the RAT who abused them!!!! YOU will have successfully extricated yourself from that abusive relationship when you puff out your chest and say to yourself: "I really don't give a damn what that F*CKHEAD thinks about me... or what he/she does for the rest of his/her life.... I've gotten away from him/her... and will now get on with the rest of my life..."
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo  +, writes (29 May 2012):
 You may be in love with her but only you can really know that.
When you are abused and controlled somebody that effectcan last long after they are gone, it is very likely due to all her controlling of you, that you feel guilty because this is what she would have wanted you to feel.
You need to do all you can to forget her, or she will ruin this new good relationship without her even trying. When you feel guilty remember what she did to you, how bad the two of you were together, how that felt when you were in that situation. If you keep doing this and remember how good what you have now is you will eveentually stop thinking about her or feeling this way.
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