A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was really upset yesterday, as my boyfriend told me that he might have children that he doesn't know about. He is much older than i am, so he has had more of a past than i have had. He had flings with a few women from other countries when he was younger,and he said they may have got pregnant, but then he said he looked them up on facebook, and he didn't see any proof that they had children. If he has though, these women would have told him, wouldn't they ?. I feel bad enough that he has had flings, and i would feel even worse if he does have kids in other countries. This has knocked my confidence. It annoys me when people aren't careful when they have sex, and about who they have sex with. I know my boyfriend didn't know that he was going to meet me then, but it still hurts. How can i stop feeling bad about this, and do you think he probably doesn't have any other kids from what he told me about when he looked the women up on facebook ?. I'm even worried that he looked them up on facebook too, even if he just wanted to look at their profiles and ask how they were.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (28 May 2012):
 I think a man who carelessly casts about his sperm is really "telling" you a great deal about him.... and not much of it is good....
Think of it... this man seems to have no compunction about having unprotected sex with women who - apparently - he has just met ("one night stands")..... then, having, possibly, planted the seed, simply taking off.....
IF you were my Sister, I'd tell you to stay away from such a creature....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2012): If he is worried that he might have fathered children with these women then maybe he should just ask them and save you both a lot of worry and speculation. He must have been having unprotected sex with them if he is worried he might have got one or more pregnant. I can certainly understand how that might concern you, not least health wise! So I hope he got himself checked out before you two got together, so to speak. Seriously! If he is not prepared to contact these women and get a straight answer then he should stop watching them on FB because that makes him sound as if he is living in the past and cant get over them.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2012): If no woman has ever contacted him saying he's the father of her kids, then why would he go speculating that he is and look them up on facebook? even if he did find from facebook that one or more of those women has kids, what makes him so sure they are his? does he think he's the only guy they ever slept with?I think he's maybe going through some personal crisis like maybe he now wants to have a family and thus is actually hoping that he did get one of those past women pregnant.or maybe he's trying to hook up with them again and looking for any excuse (and having kids with someone would make for some excuse to get back in contact).or maybe he's trying to play games with you and make you feel upset, for whatever reason.I think you should think twice about whether this is someone you can trust. it's not about his past - he can't change his past. It's about his present attitude and behaviors, for example, proactively looking up these women and speculating (hoping?) he has kids with them when none of them had bothered contacting him all this time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2012): hi hunny, i understand that you feel confused and scared about this whole sitiuation but you gatta understand he proubley feels the same way. If he had those flings when he was younger and wasnt with you i dont think you should be mad at him. I know you feel sad about it and im sorry. it is a bad sitution and i feel for you. Also when you said your wondering if he checked their fb's to see how their doing or see them, i dought it. He's proubley just a curious as you are as to whats going on. This sitiuation is bad for the both of you, you feel weired about it and he proubley feels worried or confused but try to be strong and not let this hurt your reltionship
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