A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I've been married for 17 years and the sex is great my wife was a virgin and I was her first. But I on the other hand have had 5 sexual relationships. I only told her about that 7 years ago I tried to before but could see that she didn't whan't to hear about it. I had to come clean. So one day I told her (7 years ago). She was apperently fine with it and told me she suspected it because I was ingaged for over 1 year with one girl. Then every thing went on (very well). Two months ago she told me that she also want to do it with other guys because I did it with other girls. She also told me that I must be present and join in. Well I am good for that but she is not in on anal or BJ's infact she told me she won't give the other guy a BJ because she don't even like giving me one. We have vieued a lot of XXX rated movies and she know what happens when 2 guys and 1 woman are having a threesome. So I told her I think she only want to do this to spite me and she denise that and I feel she only want to do this to get back at me. I feel betrayed. I am confused. What do you think of this what should I do
View related questions:
threesome Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, agneeman +, writes (28 May 2012):
 No. This is a bad idea. If you do it it will end badly. It is just about the worst idea in the world.This will not make her feel any better. It will make her feel like a slut and it will hurt you very deeply.She is not trying to spite you. I know because I can relate to this. What is happening here is that she is deeply hurt and insecure about your sexual past. She does not want to admit this hurt. What she wants to do is to make sex meaningless to herself. That is why the X rated movies and the threesome idea.She wants to be able to have sex with a guy and not care. That won't work, because a) she is female and b) she is the type of female that would stay a virgin till marriage because she is a romantic at heart and secretly, watching all those movies kills her just a little bit every time.Everytime you have sex, or kiss her she pictures your hand on that part of another womans body and it kills her. Heres what you're gonna do. The next time she pulls out a dvd, you're gonna say no, very calmly in a very sexy voice.... You are then going to tell her that you have something else planned. Then you are going to take her out... Spoil her with dinner... There will be roses, chocolates and that kind of thing...You are going to romance the crap out of this woman, be it with gifts or texts/ notes ect. You are going to dance with her in the living room with no music and take walks in the park... You are going to do it all, whether or not she deserves it. you are going to replace what she thinks she wants (erotisism) with what she really wants (romance)You are going to look this woman in the eyes and tell her over and over again, " I love you. I know that the idea of me with any other woman drives you crazy. I know that because that is how I feel when you talk about being with other men. It breaks my heart when you say that. Here is what you don't realise, I would give up every one of those women for you if I could, if I knew how it would make you feel. I was a stupid young man back then, but I am not that person any more, please don't punish me now for what I did then. You are the most precious, valuable woman I have ever been with and you far sexier than any of them. None of them are as special, as classy as (....) you are. They could never match up to you. I know I have no right to ask this, but please please don't do this" (just trust me on this, you dont have to understand any of this, you just need to know that it is woman logic. You can say it all in your own words, but just keep the general ideas the same : I hurt you, Im sorry and NB you are better than all of those women NNB I love you - you are going to tell her that a million times a day, at least every hour) and what ever she says, even WHEN (not if ) she gets angry with you and says she "deserves" to do it, you say "of course you do, but you are the most precious person in the world to me and it would break my heart"WHEN she starts to suspect u are cheating you will say "no, I just have a new understanding of how you feel, because I feel the same way when you talk about sex with other men" give her a chance to feel as angry and as hurt as if this were adultery (as a virgin until marriage, I can tell you, it feels that way to me) Your wife does NOT want to have sex with any one else, in fact, she is so scared of it, she wants you to be there to protect her if he hurts her. And you need to protect her, by not doing it. And by not allowing her to do it. (yes, I, a feminist female am giving your permission, heck, BEGGING you, to put your foot down on this one)I know you don't understand, but this just hurts her so much that she is trying to make it not hurt. Because she is not admiting to herself how angry and jealouse and insecure your sexual past makes her feel...Tell her you would rather have her beat you and shout at you than do this, bit know that she probably might actually take you up on that. Good luck.I know it all sounds wierd, but please trust me. You are totally man enough to rise to my challlenge, and the fact that she says all of these thingss is not a reflection on you... It does not mean you are less of a man okay?Just follow my advice and show how much of a man you can be... I repeat, good luck
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (28 May 2012):
 Sageoldguy is right. She wants sex with other men, and you can agree or not. Personally, I wouldn't. To add injury to insult, she wants you to be there.
I cannot read minds or predict the future, but I feel that you should be open to the possibility that, if you say no, your wife will do it anyways.
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (28 May 2012):
 I think you and she should "clear the slate" and discuss the REAL issue here: that your wife wants to have extra-marital sex....
WHY (she wants that) is really of no importance.... YOU can either agree that that's OK with you... OR, you can say, No, I'm not in agreement....
...............................
|
