A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone, recently I had this really painful interaction with this guy and I just cannot make head or tail with it: I knew him since around a year, he asked me to go out a few times, but it was really never clear if on a real date or not, we went out together alone twice and the second time he seemed really bored, but he insisted for giving me his phone number, I didn't call him because he was always so cold, and after a couple of months he again gave me his number, and said "call me". In the meanwhile he mentioned several times that he was going out all the time to meet girls, and he added one of my prettiest facebook friends, but he kept asking me out, I went once out with him and some friends, and I mentioned that I was glad everything was clear now and we could go out as friends. Note: in one year he never said anything even remotely personal about his feelings, likes etc, only chitchat or work, and never talked about his doings and whereabouts. The day after that night with the friends I found a message, sent at 3 am: you were completely rude to me yesterday. I answered, very worried, and then he smsed that he liked me and couldn't we meet. Normally I would have smsd back "no" but I was upset that he told me I had been rude, we work in the same office and I wanted to keep good relationships, so I said: let's meet tomorrow. And "tomorrow", I write him in the morning to ask where should we meet and: no answer. I receive an sms 6 minutes before the meeting telling me the place, at which point I replied: I thought you were standing me up, I made other plans. Well, the guy came to the place he knew I was going to later, and just yelled at me, for 15 minutes, in front of my friends and everybody saying that he didn't stand me up. He called me crazy and stupid, and yelled that we should reschedule (!) (guess what, I refused). After two weeks he comes to the same pub with a woman, and *she* starts chatting with me, and it turns out that he was seeing her since a month, calling her, and seeing her on time, and now I am completely depressed. Why did he have to be such a jerk to me and not to her? I am a respectful, caring person, why do I get the worst out of everyone?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSageoldguy1465 LOL they are mostly programmers, but I also got a couple of academics, an architect, a video maker, etc
maybe I should go for gym trainers or marketing strategists - or human rights lawyers...
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (28 May 2012):
 Be aware that "men" play these fool games... AND thrive, largely, upon women who are willing to participate in those games.....
There's nothing that you have done or can do to prevent "those men" from playing.... BUT, you don't have to take part....
WHERE are you meeting the men who are screwing with your head and personality and life????? Maybe you need a different venue....
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A
female
reader, mooh  +, writes (28 May 2012):
Don't feel guilty for this guy! He sounds like bad news and clearly doesn't have so much respect for you or your feelings (answering your text a few minutes before the appointment, and then yelling at you and calling you names) .. This guy has a loose screw!
Forget about this guy and his drama (especially if he is also a colleague).
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionso you say it's him, not me, and he will be doing the same with the other woman? It's not me who transforms men in dogs? It seems that most men I meet want to play me or exploit, abuse etc, I can't stand this anymore, is there anything I can do to stop this?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (28 May 2012):
After about 5 minutes with this guy, you were being played... and he got to continue for about a year....
YOU are smarter now, and "see" him for the dog that he is... so what's to worry about? Simply don't spend any more time or attention on him... and get on with your life...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes, but why was he nicer with that other woman? :( by the way, that guy is 43, it seems like we are all in high school, I don't seem to meet anyone nice, and I am becoming really paranoid that I do something to stimulate that kind of behavior
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2012): Short and sweet - move on!
He is not worth your time and effort.
His intentions were never clear, he was seeing someone for a month while stringing you along, and then he has this tirade for 15 min which is totally uncalled for.
You can and will do better. Move on!
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (28 May 2012):
 This guy is crazy. He has no idea how to treat women, and has a massive overinflated sense of entitlement. Don't give him any more of your time, you deserve better than this selfish, arrogant prick. Pardon my language.
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