A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:hi, i am having alot of confussions about my relationship. sence i met my boyfriend he was always the quite one and shy in the group but smart about anything , and he loves things that i love , such as racing, mechanicing, etc.. i have been with my boyfriend for two and a half months now, and we have had sex but only with condoms, sence the first time we did it we started off playing then handjob then i gave him heads and he loved it. i told him to go down on me, and he told me i dont do that , i dont like the taste or anything, i mean i have always been clean about my body, hello i have wipies in y purse and car because i cant stand toilet papers...........also, i used to ride horses and wear alot of short so where my crosh is at is darker just like my armpits,ewwwwwww but yea, and he has pointed those minor things too me and it hurts i feel like if he could get better ,and that im too ugly for him... however , he tried it once that we were taking a shower toghether and he didnt even do it for 1minute, and he was great at it . i am very insecure about myself and my body . i want somebody to help me in all off this because i keep hurting myself without me wanting too, dose he like me , is he disgusted, dose he even like my pussy , dose he even get turned on about me???? last but not least i almost forgot. ever sence we berally have sex he always wants me to do him handjobs or give him heads? why
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condom, hand-job, insecure, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (18 July 2012):
 What does he do for you, exactly? Anything at all, or are you just a masturbatory aid for him?
If he's this demanding and boring in bed, I would leave, honestly, why stick around with a selfish guy? This type of attitude usually plays out in the relationship outside of bed as well.
"Ali, while I have enjoyed getting to know you and feel close to you, alas, the sexual intimacy for me, isn't working. I can be more specific for you, if you'd like, but I think we simply aren't sexually compatible. Best wishes to you."
You are normal, you are not disgusting, you are perfectly fine. He just doesn't like oral sex and it sounds as though you would like him to return the favor. If he criticizes your genitals, um, well, time to leave, seriously, do you want to be with a guy who doesn't think you are lovely and desirable just as you are? Because you are, you've just managed to find a selfish guy who likes a lot of the same things you do.
*Note: this is based on an assumption that he does not provide sexual stimulation to you, and that this is a one-way sexual relationship, with you providing hand jobs and blow jobs and him accepting it all but not reciprocating in any way.*
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (18 July 2012):
 It has NOTHING to do with you or your body or your looks or your smile...... It happens because SOME guys are real jerks.... who are out for themselves ("It's all about ME...") and they don't understand that YOU (girls) are REALLY "what it's all about"....
Be patient..... DON'T put up with this guy... and be smug when your patience pays off and you find that REAL special guys who WILL do any- and everything it takes to make YOU happy. Those of us who are smart know that a happy girl is one who - ultimately - makes her GUY very happy!!!!!
Have a nice afternoon....
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (18 July 2012):
 First off, having sex with someone, giving him hand jobs, and blow jobs, and then asking "does he like me?" seems a bit backwards. You should know whether he likes you/wants you BEFORE you start doing this kind of thing. If he won't go down on you, then don't pleasure him that way. That is the simplest way to solve that problem. There is nothing wrong with you though...so do not worry about that part.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (18 July 2012):
First off, having sex with someone, giving him hand jobs, and blow jobs, and then asking "does he like me?" seems a bit backwards. You should know whether he likes you/wants you BEFORE you start doing this kind of thing. If he won't go down on you, then don't pleasure him that way. That is the simplest way to solve that problem. There is nothing wrong with you though...so do not worry about that part.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 July 2012):
 it's not about you being ugly or dirty...
my man loves me
he wants me
he just will not cannot go down on me.. he can't deal with the taste or the smell as he's very very VERY sensitive to these things... it's NOT a reflection on me... it's his loss...
if he wants head or hand jobs and he does not want to reciprocate with giving you head or hand jobs then you can say "sure after I get mine" and stick to that for a bit because at his age (I assume he's about your age) he's just being lazy.
my partner may not go down but he sure makes sure i"m happy and satisfied... if your partner does not care about your needs and desires and only cares about his then he's selfish..
but it's not a reflection on YOU or your desirability. it's a total reflection on his selfishness or laziness.
I can understand a person not wanting to give oral sex... I can respect that in a man or a woman... but they should make the effort to please their partner in other ways
and NO one should do what they don't want... if you don't like giving hand jobs don't give them (I hate them and will not give them)... I do however like to give blow jobs and I'm very happy to give them and not receive oral in return as I do not think that sex should be TIT for TAT just make sure everyone is happy and satisfied in the end...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2012): Sweetie, there is nothing wrong with you. Vaginas come in all shapes, sizes and colors. Millions of variety.
Teenage boys are all about self gratification and if he can get you to pleasure him with oral and he doesn't have to reciprocate, then yes, he is going to do that. If he has an excuse not to do it to you, he'll take it.
If I were in your position, I would tell him that I will no longer be scratching his itch until he can come to terms with helping me with mine.
There a lot of guys out there and if this guy is going to be this selfish, I suggest finding someone new.
Good luck sweetie.
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