A
female
age
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anonymous
writes:I have been dating a guy for 2 or 3 months now, after a shaky start when I didn't think his relationship history was great.Fast forward to now, I should have seen him twice this week but made excuse the first time and just didnt reply to message and call the second. All we seem to do is stop in,he asks if I want to go out I say yes,he asks where and I say its down to you,surprise me. But he always says he cant think of anywhere or he forgot to buy the local paper to see whats on.SO we end up with a film and wine.Now I have decided thats all he wants,company at home, so have backed off.Last week I left him early as I wanted to be out for the day enjoying the good weatherand he didnt.Tonight I am going out with friends and cant wait to get out and enjoy myself.I know I should tell him outright, he is a nice enough man.I guess I have zest and he doesnt match me.Question is, I am thinking perhaps I am better off single,hes the first I have dated in 3 or 4 years and soon became a 'nuisance' to me.I have 2 failed marriages,both 10yrs long. Manage pretty well by myself too.Do you think some people are simply made to go it alone? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2012): Question asker here
sageoldguy I have not been married for many years I gave up on marriage as I pick the wrong men and cant face divorce again. I meant dating,having a relationship not living,marrying with a man
I do think people function better as a couple, can see the advantages in good relationships and the need for companionship.However I think I am happier going it alone than settling for the wrong man for the sake of it.
Honeypie my friends have said i dont shoot high enough!
Thanks ALL for the time you took.
A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (21 July 2012):
 You asked, "Do you think some people are simply made to go it alone?" Well, I think that the better way is to find a partner in life for many reasons, such as support, care, physical and emotional satisfaction, assistance and even the fact that it's cheaper to cook for two.
However, I have repeatedly tried, and am now almost certain that the remainder of my life will be spent alone. I'm not obstinate or difficult, but now too old to attract much attention. So, to answer your question . . . maybe some of us must go it alone.
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reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (21 July 2012):
 Perhaps you could adjust your question to: "Are some people meant to not be married?"
Answer: There are LOTS of people in that situation.... AND they only exacerbate their life-situation if they prevail upon themselves (and a partner!) to wed, when neither of them should do so....
You CAN live a single life... and be happy and enjoy things... IF you wish.... Give it a try, some time...
Good luck...
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 July 2012):
 I don't really think anyone is meant to be on their own, but some people are JUST FINE being single.
I'm thinking that perhaps you don't shoot high enough when looking for a guy and end up settling with someone who isn't quite what you want/need?
I'm very independent and do JUST fine when my husband is gone for long periods of time ( 12 months deployments - 4-6 months schooling) but I do enjoy having him around too.
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reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (21 July 2012):
 Some people really can't think of things to do. They just are not creative or resourceful in that way. Some guys especially are not real creative about this. Why don't you make some suggestions or give him some choices and let him pick?
I have a boyfriend, but I LOVE being single. One thing that is nice about my boyfriend is that we do a lot together, but he also knows I need my time to do whatever I want. He is the same way and has a lot of interests so it works out for us. A lot of our time IS spent at one household or another just talking, going to local/sports events, and just spending time with one another.
I guess it all boils down to companionship for me. I want a companion. My guy is probably the exact opposite of me when it comes to zest for life. I am the zesty one and he is the laid back one. That is personally what I want. He grounds me and is my rock. I am the zest in his life.
I know that some partners can become a nuisance and can get boring. If that is YOU and your boyfriend, then you probably do need to move on. But think about the type of person you want. If you want someone "zesty"...go out looking for that.
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A
female
reader, jinxx  +, writes (21 July 2012):
 I think some people are truly happier on their own. It's not that they don't enjoy their friends and family, or even the odd relationship here and there, they just do better on their own.
Personally, I like to be in a relationship, but I do prefer to be on my own. Over time I just sort of grew to enjoy the solitude, I guess you could say.
Maybe you're not meeting the right men for you, or maybe you're someone who is better on their own. I can't really answer that for you.
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