A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Not real good at this but I will try . I am 46 and just got a divorce after 30 yrs of Marriage . my ex left me in 2008 and I have been seeing this man who is 50 and retired . I work 5 days a week and then I come home and that is it. he stays with me at my home most the time and all he does is sit on my porch and consume beer and stay on the computer from wee hrs of the morning to lat in the evening . Sometimes he even gets up around 1 am or so and is on the computer . I get woke up all hrs of the night due to him coming in and out of the room doing different things . Im kinda at the end of my rope.I dont know what to do cause i do have strong feelings for him and have even spoke with him but nothing changes . I feel like i pull all the weight and even clean a nd cook and mow when i get home . To him being on the computer is everything and even keeps us from going off or doing things . Never go out NOTHING ! I am still young and want to live and need to live . Maybe someone can help me out with some advice ???
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk since i last was on I have took the advice of some of you and now I am a single woman and taking care of everything myself . Doing better ty all for the advice .
A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (19 July 2012):
 Hi
AuntyBimBim is right, he's just a millstone round your neck. Imagine the relief you will feel as he leaves for the last time.
Get your life back, get out there and live a little,this man brings you no pleasure he adds nothing to your life nor does he contribute to your happiness.
Just show him the door.
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A
female
reader, demeplev  +, writes (19 July 2012):
 OMG!!!!!!! KICK HIM TO THE CURB!
Why would you waste another second?
your life is precious, as is your daughters,
there are plenty of fish in the sea...trust me!!!
KICK HIM TO THE CURB...then burp loudly!!!
goodluck, peace and love.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 July 2012):
 with your update... honey it's time for him to go.. he's freeloading off you
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 July 2012):
and he brings what to your relationship?
right now my guy is unemployed and his sleep schedule is all screwed up.. he is up most nights all night on the computer but he leaves me alone to sleep....
while he has some chores at home... the basic daily running of the home still falls on me... but he does not wake me at night and he respects my need for sleep.
if you are asking for him to do things and he does not do them then he has no respect for you
if he says he will do it and then does not and there is not an organic problem to cause the forgetfulness such as a prior stroke or ADHD, then he's passive aggressive...
50 is very young to be retired... is he contributing financially to running the home?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk I forgot to mention he is retired and only 51 however he does not help me at all with my bills . And as for what he is doing on the computer i only know lots of the times he spends it reading all kinds of political things and then drinking beer and moaning and groaning when me or my little girl watches tv saying we are being conditioned when all truth I think he is the one being conditioned and he goes on rampages about the goverment and this becoming a police state ,,, Grrrrrrrrrrrr
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk I forgot to mention he is retired and only 51 however he does not help me at all with my bills . And as for what he is doing on the computer i only know lots of the times he spends it reading all kinds of political things and then drinking beer and moaning and groaning when me or my little girl watches tv saying we are being conditioned when all truth I think he is the one being conditioned and he goes on rampages about the goverment and this becoming a police state ,,, Grrrrrrrrrrrr
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 July 2012):
 As Sageoldguy says.... what's the question ???? You are miserable with this loafer around to disrupt your peace of mind - and your sleep! You ARE still young, and you want to live. Then do that. Kick him out, and do it.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (19 July 2012):
 WHY would you spend even another MINUTE with this guy? He's using you, and you're miserable. What's the question?????
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (19 July 2012):
 Honestly, wrap a ribbon with a big fat bow around the computer and hand it to him as you show him the door.
What has your love for him brought you? A moocher who contributes nothing to the running of where he lives nor to the relationship.
Grow some! Realise this relationship is a roadblock, stopping you from continuing down the road of life. As long as he is hanging around your neck like a mill stone you will not be able to move forward.
Show him the door, and then start to live again!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2012): That doesn't sound very exciting. Doesn't look that you are having too much fun with him. Also if he ignores your wishes and requests, that's not a good sign. What is he doing on a computer all day long? What is he an addict? I don't know what to say. But I think if you are at the end of your rope it will end soon.
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A
female
reader, Lost1981 +, writes (19 July 2012):
Im kinda in the same situation. Talk to him and if nothing changes. Move on. You deserve better.
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