A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:okay i have been on this site and seeked help many a times...when i had problems with my boyfriend before..now i am in a situation that i never ever imagined i would be in.i was always loving,caring and sensitive sort of girl with my bf .now after 2 years of long distance rel. .(3 yrs altogether) after many ups n downs,and having been hurt many times in this relationship.we are at a normal stage .. he still loves me a lot..though both of us have made our share of mistakes in hurting each other..we never cheated on each other, but there were trust and jealousy issues from my side..now i dont know why but , i have lost the love i had before..i don't feel the sort of affection i had ...its like i suddenly have begun to feel like i'm single and don't know him. i am still attached to him..expect his calls etc..its so weird that me..who used to have almost selfless affection, compromising nature and so much possessiveness in this relationship..have suddenly lost it all!when i think of him sometimes i get angry :/ i dont know why. due to the long dist. and his busy working schedule he talks to me less often..only in the weekends and sometimes if i'm lucky, one week day ..which is mostly friday or thursday.and we skype sometimes , why am i feeling this withdrawal. this is my only serious long term relationship.i haven't got to this point ever before. moreover he's my first sexual partner!i feel scared to call him up myself for the fear of losing my dignity.because he's been throwing attitude from the past several months..playing games to be more precise.he wouldn't call me unless he misses me , he would feel satisfied for days if i'm the one who calls him. Now i've just lost the joy of true love which i felt before..! He loves me and wants to marry me at any cost. but at the same time taken me for granted .this whole thing has turned my heart to stone. on the other hand i feel sorry because he does love me and make me feel special sometimes,but for me its as though ,at every stage nothing is enough!is it wrong of me to keep expecting more and more expression of love?i crave excitement,while he's so plain about our relationship.i am totally confused with myself!i'd like some insight from those who have gone through this. my friend who went through a bad relationship says i am approaching a saturation point,and would soon want to break up..!!!some say its a passing phase in a LDR. some say i have grown up and want to focus on other imp. things in life..some say im expecting too much,like in a fairytale,my mum says i'm an emotional fool who has watched too many movies..(she is the same as my bf in many respects) ,my guy friends say that i ought to ignore the complications of LDR,get settled marry him and then everything would be fine.. and i feel like this is how every relationship/marriage feels like after few yrs. and nothing can be done!but then i do see couples who stay madly in love for decades!so basically i'm unsure, if i'd be better off if i fall for a different kind of man in future and the case would be different with him after 3 yrs of relationship..or weather the same thing would repeat.if the fault is my mind..then i guess i will never be able to be happy after few yrs with anyone. :( please help i'm a scattered soul right now
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (19 July 2012):
 Ask the Righteous Brothers.... (Bill Medley and Bobby Hatfield)... they will have the answer for you.....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2012): thanks jannie...yes i agree that i shouldn't compare....he visits once a month, and when we are together everything feels good. !but a week after he's gone..this thing sets in and every time it gets worser...because once he's there ...i have no feel of him at all..i mean not even texts...or nything..just fb chat , comments and those weekend calls ..and he always waits till evening to call me..i feel horrible and get angry to even pick up the call. :( i used to build hopes long before by messaging a lot and making him feel that i'm with him...at first when he went there(during the training period) he used to call very often . and once he got into the main job he began calling me lesser and lesser...initially i used to miss him but now i feel sick and angered that he's least bothered to pay attention to me..!!!i'm short tempered by nature . n if he were in front of me while i get that pissed i would sure punch him down :x ..but the moment i see him face to face..i see honesty,love, and my good old boy in him.and at that point i wonder why was i so pissed off with this guy??he's such a clueless dumbhead ...n when he's gone i again feel like "oh wait he just knows to act all innocent and good..but is he?"
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (19 July 2012):
 You should never compare a LDR to a real one. Your relationship does not start until you do daily things together, touching each other. All you have now is vague promises and sweet words to keep you there, not really to satisfy you. The things that you closest people have told you, are all together correct. I don't think couples are madly in love every single day. Still they have their ups and downs but so far live is good for them. I really think when you lose the loving feeling the relationship is dead for now. Give yourselves some space and see if this is what you need to miss each other. LDRs only work when you have a definite date and plan to get married. When neither of you are willing to take a leap of faith then nothing happens.
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