A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a strange situation on my hands and I'm not sure how to deal with it. My parents are... very, very supersitious for lack of a better way to put it. My dad has ordered this pendant for me to wear around my neck; he has his reasons for believing it's vital for me to do this, but I don't share his viewpoint. I've worn a beautiful silver necklace for years and I'm not willing to replace it with this hideous thing that will arrive in the mail any day now. When the pendant comes I want to refuse to wear it. I have no doubt my dad will hit the roof, because he believes he knows best when it comes to these things and I shouldn't question what I'm told to do. My mum is terrified of what will happen if I stand my ground, but I'm 20 years old and it's my body - I have the right to decide what happens to it, surely? I do realise how bizarre all of this must sound, but I don't know who else to turn to :(I guess what I'm trying to ask is what would you do if a parent tried to impose something like this upon you? I've thought about moving out (not just because of this issue) but that really isn't possible at this point in time. Any words of advice at all would be very much appreciated. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2012): You can either wear it around him and keep it in your purse or you can compromise and promise him you'll keep with you at all times, in your pocket or your purse.
Tell him if it will work when worn around your neck it will work if you have it in your pocket too and that's the best he can ask for.
If it's going to cause arguments I'd just wear it around him and then take it off when out.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2012): There must be something in your astral charts that have [prompted your father for you to wear the pendent, and please understand that he is doing it for your own good, i think you need to sit him down and ask him the reason for this and dont be closed to the idea.
aslo you can wear it where no one sees it, on another long silver neckless, or you can tell him you will try and give yourself a shot before shooting the idea down...
keep an open mind and knowledge will enter.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2012): Don't wear it if you feel this strongly. Stand your ground. You are an adult!
I'm guessing this superstition is because you (or your parents) are from a culture where this is normal, whereas it's not normal for you? If so, your Dad has to realise that. Also you need to appreciate his point of view and be sensitive to that.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (19 July 2012):
 Since you're a woman, is there any chance that you can placate your Father by wearing this necklace whenever you have to be in his company.... then remove it, place it in your purse, and put on your favorite necklace (secreted, previously, in your purse) when you are elsewhere???
Seems like a justifiable deception if it: 1. Keeps peace between you and your Father, and, 2. Provides you with the opportunity to wear the jewelry that you prefer, when the time and circumstances allow....
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (19 July 2012):
 It is too bad that at your age you are not able to be out on your own. I do understand, my daughter is in the same boat.
I was surprised at your use of the word "hideous". At first I thought you were talking about a standard religious symbol. Usually you can find one of them to match your style. Now if you strongly oppose being known as having those religious feelings I can see how you wouldn't want to wear it.
I need to get on to answering your question. If you feel that you cannot wear this pendant without violating your own personal standard, even if you can wear it out of sight, then you must confront your father and explain it to him then live with the consequences. Do try not to use loaded words like hate, hideous, and superstition when you describe things that are as important to him as your beliefs are to you. Be firm but not angry.
That is how my daughter handles me. I'm probably more flexible than your dad.
FA
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A
male
reader, Glacier  +, writes (19 July 2012):
They have to accept that you're an adult who has her own values and opinions. They should be ashamed of themselves if they force you into this.
Let's hope they accept your opinion. If not then show them this.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2012): Lol ...hmm why don't you try wearing it below your navel or something... way below ..like nea the pubic bones ..that way people wont get to see it..! we have religious pendants which we wear to get rid of evil eyes and things..but that's only if we really wish to.! not by force...you should probably try your best to argue ..fight and end up being told "hmph ok fine whatever ...do whatever you wish to!"..or i can give you a stupid idea...wear it for a day or two..n then make up bad things and tell them it happened to you :P your SUperstitious parents might ask you to take it off by themselves!
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