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... Send *inktopaz a private message | | | *inktopaz's profile:I'm 29 and born and raised in California.
I've gone through quite a few relationships! Some were great and some were down right terrible!
I really enjoy trying to help people get through relationship woes. Sometimes they can be life consuming and everyone can use a little help from time-to-time.
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How to steal my ex back from rebound?
Q. My ex and I still talk frequently (almost every day, or more). How do I steal her back from her rebound boyfriend? ...
A. 14 December 2009: Seriously...no confronting. Dump her already. Everyone has already told you MANY times to let this one go and you're not. You said you would never talk to her again if she screwed up, and it looks like she's screwed up about 3 times since then ... (read in full...)
A few pregnacy questions?
Q. So I have some questions about being pregnant, about the first trimester actually. Forgive me if it's TMI, but these are a few things I would really like to know from people with experience, not just another doctor brushing it off as anything. :) ...
A. 30 November 2009: Google "implantation symptoms" "implantation cramping" or "implantation bleeding" and it will have message boards with women asking similar questions. They have sharp pains/pressure. Sounds like implantation cramps or it can just be your uterus ... (read in full...)
A few pregnacy questions?
Q. So I have some questions about being pregnant, about the first trimester actually. Forgive me if it's TMI, but these are a few things I would really like to know from people with experience, not just another doctor brushing it off as anything. :) ...
A. 30 November 2009: Is the pressure/pain like cramping while you pee? I know that the second I stopped peeing I got a sharp cramp--but those stopped after a while. I'd get the pain at random times too, but they were just implantation cramps. As far as bleeding or ... (read in full...)
How can I prove that I'm not cheating and that I love him?
Q. ive been with my bf for already 9 months and i kinda have been messing you like flirting around but i love my bf so much and he knows that so he just forgets about it well on one of our dates we were at the park havin a great time and a boy texts me ...
A. 30 November 2009: Maybe you should quit "messing" around and flirting with other boys. Don't text them anymore and tell them to quit texting you or ignore them. There's a logical reason why your boyfriend thinks you're cheating even if you claim otherwise. Delete ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my parents I'm gay?
Q. how do i tell my mum and dad im gay?...
A. 30 November 2009: If they're the type to flip out, perhaps a note will suffice especially since you're so young, it may be easier. Otherwise, "Mom and Day, I'm gay" should work. ... (read in full...)
How can this be rape when I'm of legal age? His grandmother says she's going to call the cops!
Q. I'm 17. I keep getting caught having sex with my boyfriend by his grandparents. He's 19. Yes he lives with his gparents they need help around the house. His grandmother said tht if we have sex then thts rape. How can this be rape when I'm at a legal ...
A. 30 November 2009: It depends on the state that you live in. If the laws according to your state say that if you're under the age of 18 and having sex with a legal adult, then it is statutory rape. ... (read in full...)
What to do about his bad boy behaviour...im having his baby...
Q. My boyfriend/father of my unborn baby is a big pothead. I get so mad because he constantly smokes around me. He stays drunk Thursday - Monday. He has no job but is in college 2 days a week. When he is by himself he doesn't smoke weed as much as when ...
A. 30 November 2009: Unfortunately, you can't change him. He's really immature and the only way he's going to quit with this behavior is for him to just finally grow up. When the baby finally comes he may finally decide to man up and become a responsible parent--but ... (read in full...)
Was I wrong to go with my instincts and look in his phone?
Q. I've been dating a wonderful guy for about 5 months and the other day for some reason, I looked at his text messages while he was in the shower, I found some messages from a girl who I think is an ex. She accused him of cheating on her, and she ...
A. 29 November 2009: I agree that he's probably mad because he got caught. He was caught talking to another girl--so it was stupid of him to be mad at you because he feels that you don't trust him because, DUH!, obviously you can't! Quit trying to get a hold of hi... (read in full...)
No period since taking the morning after pill!!!
Q. I took the morning after pill ( levonelle ) and now my period is 6 weeks late. When i was 2 weeks late i went to the doctors for a urine test and it came back negative. Could this test be wrong or can the morning after pill make your period this ...
A. 29 November 2009: Yes, pregnancy tests can give you a false negative. Yes, the morning after pill can make you skip your period. Take another test.... (read in full...)
Who "popped the cherry"
Q. hi everyone...I have sort of a dumb question to ask but here it goes. Well about a month ago me and my boyfriend had sex, I'm not a virgin and neither is he. I'll explain more. My first time was over the summer, after a few times..more then a few; ...
A. 29 November 2009: You lost your virginity to the first guy, but the second guy could have possibly broken your hymen and the first guy didn't.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has kept his online dating profile, is he cheating?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for about 5 months now and its going really great though he used to have an internet dating profile which he told me about but he still uses it. He says he doesnt go to pick up girls but just to check out the 'scene' to ...
A. 29 November 2009: No, you're not being too uptight. No way in hell should your boyfriend still have an online DATING profile. This is the time to figure out if you walk or not because he's keeping that profile to cheat and/or to see if something better comes along. ... (read in full...)
I hurt when I pee...how can I prevent this?
Q. I'm seventeen and have sex with my boyfriend who's 19 I hurt alot when I pee and I always have utis what can I do to prevent this ??. ...
A. 29 November 2009: Pee right after sex and drink cranberry juice regularly.... (read in full...)
I want to emigrate to US, but hubby wont budge
Q. Hello aunts I have been hugely lucky to have had a job that allowed me 2 visit NYC, I have been in live with the place since I can remember, I think it's cause my grandad was a seaman and visited NYC hundreads of times and would come back to ...
A. 29 November 2009: Don't expect too much of a fortune right now in the U.S. Our economy sucks BIG TIME right now, NY is very expensive, and NY has fairly high taxes and quite a few stupid laws. I know some people love it, and there is a lot of culture. But, your ... (read in full...)
She's just too shy!
Q. My friends shy and she asked my cousin if he wanted to hangout because she likes him and he said yes. Her only problem is she doesn't know how to talk to a guy she likes! How can she talk to him comfortably? Without feeling awkward....
A. 28 November 2009: I think your friend can handle herself. She took a big step asking your cousin to hang out, so she can't be ALL that shy. Things take practice, so if it's her first time hanging out with a guy, of course it's going to be awkward. She's not going ... (read in full...)
I joined the police academy to impress him. Is this a mistake?
Q. So I am 19 yrs old. I am in college to gain my BSN (bachelors n Science and Nursing). Not to long ago I met my friend and jus recently I have come attracted to him. He also recently graduated from the Police Academy in my city. We have been friends ...
A. 28 November 2009: I kind of think you convinced yourself that you're joining the police dept for yourself also. Perhaps it could wind up being the best decision you made, but certainly in the future don't change career paths because of some guy. If you like someone ... (read in full...)
She said girls don't like confident guys, was she right?
Q. One of my (girl) friends said that 50% of girls don't go for guys with high confidence, like she does. I'm like 'huh?!' Is this true? If yes, is it because guys with high confidence are the ones who are more likely to do be some kind of jer...
A. 28 November 2009: I think she's getting confidence confused with cockiness. There are guys out there who are confident, but still very good men. Then there are guys who are confident, think they are God's gift and believe they deserve everything handed to ... (read in full...)
Will my feelings for my boyfriend change after an FFM threesome?
Q. So I was WONDERING, if my boyfriend and I end up having a threesome, with another woman, whats the likely it'll bring us closer? Or I wont feel the same about him?...
A. 28 November 2009: If anything, threesomes can ruin a relationship. Why? The main thing is jealousy. If your boyfriend is more into the girl than into you during the act, you'll be jealous. If you and the girl are more into each other than him, he'll be jealous. ... (read in full...)
I'm tormented by the fact that she's had a 'bigger' man than I
Q. My girlfriend has just recently told me (because my dum ass ask) that she was with a guy so thick she felt pain and once had to see the doctor. to me is like (lucky bastard) i guess i think that's like every man's dream to be able to just do that to ...
A. 28 November 2009: Having sex with a guy with too large of a penis is not fun or satisfying. Obviously having sex with you, your girlfriend finds fun and satisfying and that's all that matters. It is just a "macho" thing to think, "Wow, he was soooo HUGE, that the ... (read in full...)
How can I stop this self-biting?
Q. I have a problem with self biting. Like I overly bite my lip and the inside of my cheek. I also contastly need to pull at the skin around my nails and my finger's are litterly raw from the fact that i pulled off all the skin. IDK what to do, idk why ...
A. 28 November 2009: I actually have the same problem...and they are habits I have to try to break. The biting of the inner lips/cheeks started when I quit smoking. I did occassionally when I smoked also, but it got really bad after I quit. So my guess is that it's a ... (read in full...)
Am I too demanding or am I stuck in a boring relationship?
Q. Hello, I've been in a relationship for almost 2 years. Like with most couples, the first months of it went by smoothly. But lately, I'm starting to feel a bored with my relationship. I go to school full-time so I don't get to see him during th...
A. 28 November 2009: No, I don't think that you're being too demanding...you need to be a little more demanding. I think that you're too afraid to start any sort of argument so you're kind of beating around the bush with making suggestions. Instead of "hinting" which ... (read in full...)
Why is it more likely for pretty girls to be sluts?
Q. Dear Agony Aunts, I don't mean to speculate but look at all of the single, hot women that exist in the world today. Can't they just find a man to stay with in a long-term relationship or marriage, even an open relationship? Why does seem more l...
A. 27 November 2009: Wow, that is a definite stereotype! I know MANY attractive women who are NOT sluts. If fact, many of the unattractive ones I've known are the ones who are sluts. It seems more likely to me that less attractive women are sluts because they have ... (read in full...)
Why are bigger breasts better?
Q. I know this has been asked a million times, but why are big breasts better? Honestly give me the reasons of why they're superior to small breasts when it comes to SEXUAL PLEASURE. Nothing to do with not having back aches, or that big breasts produce ...
A. 27 November 2009: I don't exactly have an answer for you...and I don't think anyone really will. But if you read the second page of that article you gave us the link to, it says that guys don't really care about size. They seem to care more when they are around ... (read in full...)
To give the ring back or not?
Q. Who keeps the engagement ring? Before you give me a standard answer, please consider the facts. I'm in CA, I accepted the proposal and spent allot of my own money (still in debt) for the wedding that didn't happen. 4 months before the wedding he ...
A. 26 November 2009: Under normal circumstances, if you were to call off the wedding then yes, it would be common courtesy to give him the ring back. But who the hell would want to marry him after that?! It's not like there's a law that says you have to give it back ... (read in full...)
6'3" 200 lbs, 21 and still a virgin!
Q. Hi, I'm 21 almost 22 and haven't really started dating yet,and I'm still a virgin. The problem is I never really seem to be where the girls are. I'm not shy or anything, and I'm not bad looking(6'3, 200lb), I just never seem to be able to meet new ...
A. 25 November 2009: Funny, I just read about how a woman was freaking out because she just turned 27 and had never dated or kissed a guy etc. EVER. So don't get too down on yourself. Girls are everywhere, so i'm also a little curious as to where you're going to try ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to be doing that on a daily basis, or am I just weird?
Q. Hi everybody. I'm 16 this year and found myself hooked onto gay porn. I watch other kinds of porn as well but I seem to like gay more the most. Not lesbian porn though I find that sort of gross (no offence to people who like them, it's a personal ...
A. 25 November 2009: Umm well, if you're a female and watching gay male porn daily--I wouldn't say it's the norm, but everyone gets off to different things. I mean I guess it's no different than men watching lesbians. I think that just because it arouses you sexually ... (read in full...)
Three guys like me so who do I choose?
Q. Ok, so here's my problem. For most of my life, i've dreamed and prayed to find someone who had feelings for me, and hadn't found anyone. Once I turned 17, I felt hopeless, because in my family, everyone falls in love/marries very young (My parents ...
A. 25 November 2009: Before you jump into who you need to choose or whatever, you need to be at least dating them first.
The first guy is someone you have a crush on with qualities you like and you're not sure he likes you back...that just brings me back to: you ... (read in full...)
Why are men generally more secure in themselves than most women?
Q. Why are men generally more secure in themselves than most women? I mean, I myself am a very insecure female, especially regarding appearance. I always have a bit of an internal freak out when I'm watching TV with my boyfriend and a naked, big bre...
A. 24 November 2009: I don't think that's true at all. Men just hide it better than women. Women are much more vocal, so of course we complain and compare ourselves. Men are just the same except they don't talk about it. I've known MANY guys that are very insecure. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has a 20 year history of being a serial cheater. Will marriage change him?
Q. Boyfriend has 20 year history of serial cheater. Will marriage change him? Will he change his cheating ways if we get married? Hi, I am 32 and with a man who is turning 40 soon. We have been together for a year and a couple of months. On ave...
A. 24 November 2009: He was seeing you and others before and you didn't know it at the time, so what makes you believe that you are really the only person that he's seeing now? You only see him about once a week but are now spending more time together? So what's that? ... (read in full...)
How can I tell him my name and continue to talk with him without looking silly?
Q. So I have said hey to this guy and he has said hey back but I have yet to tell him my name and I was wondering how to tell him my name without looking really stupid.... and the thing is, I'm am a sophmore and he is a senior so.... plz help...
A. 19 November 2009: Ask him what his name is...then he'll probably ask you what your name is or you can just tell him. It's pretty simple.... (read in full...)
Is it possible just to give up on love?
Q. It's been 8 months since my ex dumped me. I tried being friends after the break up which was a mistake and just hurt me more. Her and I are over. I kind of want to send her a message saying we can't be friends but that would be pointless. I've ...
A. 19 November 2009: Sure! I think plenty of us do for at least small periods of time here and there, and it's for exactly the same reason why you're feeling like you should. I think I'm on my second round of "giving up on love" within 3 years because I just don't ... (read in full...)
How to steal my ex back from rebound?
Q. My ex and I still talk frequently (almost every day, or more). How do I steal her back from her rebound boyfriend? ...
A. 18 November 2009: I think you should quit talking to her now because you know she's going to flip flop. Being "pretty sure" is the same as not being sure. You wouldn't have asked if you did't think she was going to. Give it time, you know she probably will. ... (read in full...)
Why would she still want to be friends after we broke up?
Q. Hey, i just got out of a relationship about 3 1/2 months ago and just talked to my ex today. it was casual and she told me about her new boyfriend. It didnt really bother me as much as i thought until she said that she was completely over me. i was ...
A. 18 November 2009: She may be over you, but that's only because she found some rebound to distract her. On the other hand, it's questionable as to why she would need to announce that she's over you, that's kind of rude, don't you think?
No, I don't think you shou... (read in full...)
I've got a boyfriend now so how can I stop this urge?
Q. I'm 18 and i have a problem and i need help. well in the past i had this one guy that i gave blow jobs to and now that im in a relationship i have nothing else to give because i love the person im with. so one day they asked me to come over but i ...
A. 18 November 2009: I'm with Jayney on this one, it's hard to believe that this is even for real.
It's really not that hard to ignore someone after you've told them no, especially if they just want you to come over for bj's. That's just weird to me, and if that's h... (read in full...)
I am struggling with the end of our relationship. I need closure.
Q. I am struggling to cope with the end of a 9 year relationship, and need some advice on how to get through it all as my now ex-bf has cut all contact, leaving me with many unanswered questions and no closure at all. We were together 9 years, lived ...
A. 18 November 2009: No, don't write him a letter. You can write one, but not one for him to ever see. Like I said, no contact. Don't write him any letters, emails, or leave voicemails...no communication whatsoever.... (read in full...)
I am struggling with the end of our relationship. I need closure.
Q. I am struggling to cope with the end of a 9 year relationship, and need some advice on how to get through it all as my now ex-bf has cut all contact, leaving me with many unanswered questions and no closure at all. We were together 9 years, lived ...
A. 17 November 2009: "He is the one and only love of my life. I have never betrayed his trust, have always tried to support him, and don't understand what I have done wrong."
I'm quoting what you said because what you said is part of your answer. First, he is not t... (read in full...)
What was this thing I found in my panties?
Q. im 17 years old now... but a few years ago when i was about 14 on holiday i woke up and had this thing i cant explain in my knickers, it was kind of big, it looked a bit like a fetus, but the thing is i was a virgin at the time so i dont understand ...
A. 17 November 2009: Well if it was a blood-colored jelly-like substance it could have been a blood clot. Those can be fairly large and I've known several girls that that has happened to. Obviously if you were a virgin, it couldn't have been a fetus. I'm gonna go ... (read in full...)
How do people have interesting conversations via text messaging?
Q. What do you girls usly talk to your boyfriends about well your texting? And what do you guys like talking about with your girlfriend. Becuse its hard for me to like have a real conversation about any thing well were texting its mostly how was your ...
A. 17 November 2009: In my opinion, text is for short conversation. Personally, I hate when people want to have a full blown convo through text, it ends up taking 20 min, when we could have have a 5 min phone conversation. So instead of texting all the time, talk on ... (read in full...)
My friends keep telling me to move on, but they don't understand. What do I do?
Q. Im 18 and 2years ago i dumped the love of my life, for no reason, i tried to get him back and he wouldnt have it and for a year afterwards i fought for him and kept going back but he didnt want anything to do with me(yet he never moved on or found ...
A. 17 November 2009: What you need to do is what you friends are telling you to do, which is "move on." If he broke up with you 2-years ago and doesn't want to be with you, I'm sorry, but he is not the love of your life. I'm assuming that after all this time you ha... (read in full...)
Is my girlfriend cheating on me?
Q. Been dating this girl for two months and while she appears to be awesome there are things that I wonder about. She was great. But....we live an hour away. She is a nympho. She has druggy friends. She smokes pot. Loves tattoos. I have no problems ...
A. 17 November 2009: She could be...but let me just warn you that from my experience; people that hide things from you (the pot smoking and friends coming over) are usually cheaters. Not telling you is the same is lying, so obviously they can't really be trusted. I ... (read in full...)
Help! I'm in love but I barely know him?
Q. Alright, here is my situation. I am in love with this guy. Every time there is even a slight chance of seeing him I get butterflies and my heart races. I can't get him out of my mind and I think I see him sometimes when I'm out. He is very funny, ...
A. 17 November 2009: It's infatuation, which feels a lot like love. Love goes a whole lot deeper than getting butterflies in your tummy and laughing at his jokes. All this means is that you like him A LOT. Love is what happens after all the giddy butterflies and ... (read in full...)
Can you get pregnant 2 days after ovulation using the rythem method?
Q. Can you get pregnant 2 days after ovulation using the rythem method? I cheated on my bf, and im not sure if my one night stand is the father of my child. I was with my bf 4 days before ovulation no protection and he ejaculated plenty inside me. Then ...
A. 17 November 2009: There's plenty of websites that tell you the effectivness of using the rhythm method. The rhythm method, if I recall correctly is the poorest choice of birth control--that's how most pregnancies occur besides just not caring or trying to conceive. ... (read in full...)
Should I look for someone else?
Q. I've began seeing a man of a different ethnicity than I am. Although I think this isn't such a big problem, I'm unsure if he would be serious with me because of culture/ethnic issues in the future. We are both adults, way past the issue of parents ...
A. 17 November 2009: You didn't tell us what his ethnicity is. Honestly, it doesn't matter what ethnicity a guy is, guys from every ethnicity do that sort of thing. I've been in the exact situation as you...the dates we had are different of course, but I've been in ... (read in full...)
He gave me a back hander across the face when I mouthed off as he was yelling at me!
Q. Hi aunts. I have a real problem here. I'm just not sure what to do any more. Me and my boyfriend have been arguing a lot lately but last night it escalated and he backhanded me across the face because I mouthed off to him while he was yelling at me. ...
A. 17 November 2009: Listen, he WILL do it again. He "didn't know how to react" because you "mouthed off?" He's going to get mouthed off a lot in his lifetime, so does that mean he should go around backhanding people because he doesn't like what they say? NO! And ... (read in full...)
How to steal my ex back from rebound?
Q. My ex and I still talk frequently (almost every day, or more). How do I steal her back from her rebound boyfriend? ...
A. 16 November 2009: Garm,
I don't mean to butt-in here. But you shouldn't be trying to manipulate her into wanting her back. The best thing you can do is do what makes YOU happy--you're revolving your actions too much on how you can manipulate her into wanting ... (read in full...)
How to steal my ex back from rebound?
Q. My ex and I still talk frequently (almost every day, or more). How do I steal her back from her rebound boyfriend? ...
A. 9 November 2009: Eh, you just want her back cause you can't have her. So, you know that the relationship probably isn't going to work out in the future. But you pretty much have to follow what anonymous said, the more you act like you don't care, the more she'll ... (read in full...)
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