A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I've been in a relationship for almost 2 years. Like with most couples, the first months of it went by smoothly. But lately, I'm starting to feel a bored with my relationship.I go to school full-time so I don't get to see him during the week, and I make every effort possible to finish any work before I spend the weekend with him, but when I do visit him we spend our entire weekend watching TV shows. He's particularly fond of watching sports, which I don't mind in moderate doses, but with the football season in full swing, it's on most of the day. I usually end up falling asleep at the couch out of boredom. In fact, to entertain myself, I wash dishes or cook just so I can get a change of scenery.I tried to spice up our weekends by offering suggestions of things we can do or places we can go that aren't expensive. He apparently likes the ideas but doesn't have much inclination to act on them. I've even tried being more sexy (I'll take sex as something different to do) to grab his attention but not much is happening.I don't expect that we go to a club or a concert or even to a restaurant to eat. I would be happy just to go for a walk around the block with him, but he doesn't seem to care that we're spending our weekends together doing NOTHING. In January, I'm going abroad to study for eight months and I thought that he might come around for our last weekends together, but it just doesn't seem to matter to him that I'm leaving.I don't mind doing things by myself, but I would like to do things with my boyfriend so we can share these memories together. This weekend, I just gave up and decided to spend the weekend at my place (he lives by himself and I live with roommates) because I'm just sick of having to spend my weekend trying to fight for his attention.I love this man with all my heart, and when I do have his attention, he's amazing. We do intend to marry some day, but my insides turn thinking that my life is going to be like this every single day for the rest of my life. So my question is, am I being a little too demanding with him or am I stuck in a dead end relationship?
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male
reader, Miguel-Montana +, writes (28 November 2009):
 well guys are hard headed and u need to tell him that sometimes things just arent about him cuz honestly a girl watching a football game?!!!! nuh uh i cant xactly picture that too well u need to show him that this relationship isnt only about his needs but urs as well
A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (28 November 2009):
 maybe you really need to sit him down and show him how seriously his not paying attention is affecting the relationship; this could make him rise to attention. if he shrugs of your concern, I would throw out a red flag. If you're not that confrontational, I would see how things go abroad, maybe he'll miss you more that you're not around and contact you and be sweet to you again. Maybe he's acting like this because he wants to distance himself from you before you leave, it could be a defense mechanism (although, I feel like that would be giving men a lot of credit..)
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (28 November 2009):
No, I don't think that you're being too demanding...you need to be a little more demanding. I think that you're too afraid to start any sort of argument so you're kind of beating around the bush with making suggestions. Instead of "hinting" which guys don't seem to get, just tell him what you told us. Tell him that you're leaving soon and would like to spend some quality time with him. Tell him that it's great he loves football and all, but you're tired of being bored at his place and that the only way you can keep his company is to sit there and watch him watch tv.
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