A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so here's my problem. For most of my life, i've dreamed and prayed to find someone who had feelings for me, and hadn't found anyone. Once I turned 17, I felt hopeless, because in my family, everyone falls in love/marries very young (My parents began dating @ 13). But then I decided to chill out and let things come when they're supposed to.Now, I somehow have gained the attention of 3 guys very quickly. I guess this is where the whole "Be careful what you wish for" saying comes in. Anyway, I guess I should explain a little about them:Guy#1: 18 going on 19. Very religious (a must for me), tall, handsome, and respectful.Met in church. We talk alot, but I'm not sure if he likes me back.Guy#2: 24. Comes into my work to talk to me. I know he likes me, because his friend said so. He's also handsome and nice. Very shy, and sweet. Guy#3: 19. We used to go to school together, and he's recently made contact with me, and kind of, but not really asked me to hang out. I said no, because i was busy. And now we talk through IM fairly often. He's like the other two, and is very nice to me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2009): This is the situation and time frame: "Now, I somehow have gained the attention of 3 guys very quickly"
#1 "but I'm not sure if he likes me back."
#2 "I know he likes me, because his friend said so"
#3 "kind of, but not really asked me to hang out"
Oh wow.. yes all these men/boys sound like they are head over heels for you. Not. Be real, you have nothing yet. They might be flirting with you and you clearly like them back, but until the next movie is made by at least two of them, you don't have much of a "choice" here. Also look at the time frame. Very quickly you met them. Has there really been enough time to develop feelings yet? Two of these guys you don't even know if they like you, and you don't sound like you know if you like them either.
But, at 17, 23 is too old for you. Once you get past 18 it's better (you'll be considered adult then by some standards), but consider this: what grown man dates a 17 year old? What does that say about him? Is he really someone you'd actually want to be with or would you be with him just because no one better has come along yet?
Sit down, relax, and wait. Boyfriend material has yet to enter the stage.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (25 November 2009):
 The one you like.
And it seems you don't like any of them. Seems to me your motivation for considering any of them is "I must have a bf, who cares if I love him or not, I must have someone".
Is that what you want?
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (25 November 2009):
Before you jump into who you need to choose or whatever, you need to be at least dating them first.
The first guy is someone you have a crush on with qualities you like and you're not sure he likes you back...that just brings me back to: you need to date him and get to know him better.
The second guy is just someone you're getting a vibe from and a friend of his said he likes you. Again: you need to date him and get to know him better.
The third guy, asked you out and you told him "no." Again: you need to date him and get to know him better.
Maybe you didn't put in as much detail so I'm just assuming that you don't know any of these guys too well, you don't know if they even want a relationship. So for now don't choose anybody. The last thing you want to do is put all of your eggs into one basket, and when that doesn't work out you are left alone again because you decided to put your focus all on one guy. You need to go out with all of them first before you "choose." You may go out with them and find out you don't really like one or two of them. It's way too early to start choosing when there isn't any offer yet. Take it easy, get to know them, and just let things take its course.
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