A
female
age
41-50,
*ad In Chicago
writes:I've been dating a wonderful guy for about 5 months and the other day for some reason, I looked at his text messages while he was in the shower, I found some messages from a girl who I think is an ex. She accused him of cheating on her, and she hates him, then there are some references to them meeting and he asked if she missed him, my mind was in a blur at this point and I dont know specifically except her name. Well, He found out about 15 minutes after I looked because I must not have exited messaging, he was upset, and I know I shouldnt have snooped, I didn't get to ask him about this girl other than "are you sleeping with any other girls?" he said "no, I am not, and I feel like you don't trust me," he was pretty mad at me and I left in tears. This was a yesterday afternoon and he won't return my calls or texts. Was I wrong to go with my instincts and look in his phone? Is he mad because of what I could have seen?????
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009): cut all contant, wait it out. he has been caught and got angry with that. let him come to you! do not chase after him, he will come running, and i hope you tell him where to go.
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (29 November 2009):
I agree that he's probably mad because he got caught. He was caught talking to another girl--so it was stupid of him to be mad at you because he feels that you don't trust him because, DUH!, obviously you can't!Quit trying to get a hold of him. If anything he should be calling you, apologizing, and begging for you to take him back. Don't be such a doormat. He's in the wrong, not you.
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A
male
reader, yussuf  +, writes (29 November 2009):
 Yes you were wrong to snick around and check his phone. you should have asked him or better yet if he was cheating you would know, nothing stays in the dark forever. Now all you have done is give him an opportunity to make you feel guilty even tho he is the guilty one.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (29 November 2009):
 Usually I would say snooping in phones and emails is not the right thing to do, but there must have been other reasons for you to act on your instincts, try and think what the signs were.
I think he might be mad because he has been caught out, without having time to think of a good excuse or to find a way to shift the blame onto you. O
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