A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem with self biting. Like I overly bite my lip and the inside of my cheek. I also contastly need to pull at the skin around my nails and my finger's are litterly raw from the fact that i pulled off all the skin. IDK what to do, idk why I even do it. I just need to stop and need some tips? Have any of you ever gone through this? Help please.=]. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (28 November 2009):
 Yes babes, we know that's why we would like you to talk to someone. Bad habits get replaced by bad habits, unless you know why, know what triggers it and know how to deal with it in a way that makes you safe and happy. You've been given lots of self help suggestions from people that know, and I definately suggest you use these as well. It will make you feel powerfull and stronger to know you are trying to solve your problems, you've noticed them, your not ignoring them and your trying to be happy and safer.
I'm from the UK.. don't know USA laws... over here from the age of 12, you can see your doctor in private and sort out your own treatment. From what I know, the USA has school counsellors, your teachers are your best support. Tell them you've noticed these things, you've been anorexia, you've got no support at home, but you really want to change. Contact your doctors, tell them your age and the same thing. In the UK, at 16 you don't need your parents permission to go and seek help for the things that are bothering you, and I'm hopping that it's the same thing in the USA. After you start tretment, seeing a counselor, talking about things, and using some of the self-help methods that have been suggested here, you'll be in a stronger position to tell your parents your having problems and you are working on sorting them out.
Otherwise.. use the self-help, surf the internet for good advice on taking care of anxiety. Come back to cupid with the questions about life that are bothering you and making you anxious. Keep a diary, write down how you feel, what things happen, and what good things you accomplish to make yourself happy and safer. Soon you'll be 18, and able to get rreatment if it proves to be a problem at 16.
Your doing so well, and if they understood, your parents would be proud of you. You are intelligent, your aware of your problems, and you have the strength to do it alone if there's noone to help you.. Give yourself a big hug and a pat on the back for coming here and being so honest with strangers who you don't know. Sending you love, hugs, and all the strenght in the world... You'll be ok, you got brains and courage kid, and I admire you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2009): Thank you guys for your answers and tips. Actually I do suffer from anxiety but my parents don't believe I need any help. I used to cut and pull my hair out. I also use to suffer from anorexia. It just seems I keep replacing bad habits with more bad habits.
...............................
A
female
reader, mediocreland +, writes (28 November 2009):
I used to pull at the skin on my lips untill I bled. It was just something I absentmindedly did. The only thing that stopped me from doing it was getting braces, it stopped my teeth from being able to bite my lip and get the skin off that way.
Not that I'm saying braces will fix your problem, but something that will be in your way might stop it. Maybe chewing gum frequently or sugarfree candy will keep your teeth and mind busy enough so you wont chew on your cheek and lip.
As for your nails that seems like it's just something you have to use your self control to stop. Unless you want to wear bandaids or something to prevent access to your fingers.
This is all stuff you can do on your own, I agree with previous posters that said you should seek some professional help. They'll have better answers for you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (28 November 2009):
Serious issue babes.... you badly need to go and speak to a counsellor about what is troubling you.. this is a form of self abuse. Your keeping things inside, and haven't learnt how to deal with things properly. No problem, ask your doctor (or school) if you can be recommended to a counsellor. Talk to the counsellor about the things that bother you, and the way your holding things in, and they will show you safer ways to deal with things... Don't worry, go and see a counsellor as soon as you can and everything will be alright.. good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (28 November 2009):
I actually have the same problem...and they are habits I have to try to break. The biting of the inner lips/cheeks started when I quit smoking. I did occassionally when I smoked also, but it got really bad after I quit. So my guess is that it's a stress/anxiety like DoubleM suggessted. Basically, I have to tell myself to stop doing it when I catch myself doing it--it also helps me to put loads of chapstick on and I don't chew so much.
As far as the skin around your nails, I don't think I did it as bad as you said. I just bit my nails very short and would also chew the skin off to try to get rid of the hang nails...it wouldn't look perfect and I wanted them to, but it always ended up looking worse. However, mine was more of a nailbiting scenario, which I recently stopped about 3 months ago (I've been a nailbiter since I was a kid), but if you do that too, I have to always keep my nails polished. Thats the only thing that keeps me from chewing on my nails and skin around them.
Otherwise, like some suggested a counselor or see a doctor and see what they can suggest or if they can refer you to someone else.
...............................
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (28 November 2009):
 You are extremely troubled, stressed or anxious, in my opinion. Most of us experience those strong emotions at some point in life, and for some, it can result in such activities as nail biting, teeth grinding and chewing/biting the lips, etc. The stresse can also lead to drug and/or alcohol abuse.
Perhaps some counseling would help, but first please try to understand that you are very young and will likely live a long, rewarding and wonderful life. Try to relax because we all have challenges throughout our lives, but stressing too much can kill you as sure as smoking, excessive drinking and other habitual reactions. Know that you are loved and be comfortable.
...............................
A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (28 November 2009):
 I would suggest going to a counselor that could give you more professional tips, but if you want to try to fix it on your own, i would keep a journal, or at least a mental log, to try to record what triggers your wanting to bite or pick at a part of your body. if it is triggered by an tense situation, try to talk yourself down, say, i understand i'm in an uncomfortable place right now, but I can think of alternative, healthy releases of stress management that doesn't involve a form of mutilation. more often than now, I used to want to inflict harm on myself but rarely followed through, and they generally were scratches or punching myself. for me a lot of times that resulted from either overwhelming stress sadness or anger; something that helped me was crawling up in a ball in my closet once(in my house)? just try to escape or address the stressor in a different way, if possible.
if it is more of an unconsious habit, like 5 minutes have passed and you didn't even realize how long you've been biting the inside of your cheek, i would try distracting myself, like chewing more gum, wear gloves, and maybe hoodies to stash your hands away in.
I would also say your hand habit sounds a little obsessive compulsive, which is a mental thing that can be worked out with meds/psychiatrists; do you wash your hands a lot, too, or do you ever think about the consequences of not giving in to your habits as really..kind of doomsday-like? you can try to fix it on your own, but psych's and counselors could probably give you better, more effective tools to overcome these issues. good luck
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2009): I do it too- it's probably from stress or just a bad habit. You can try snapping a rubbing band every time you do it or put some cold sore medication on your mouth so if you go to bite it, it tastes bad. As for your nails and fingers, try to put lotion on your hands and then put moisturizing gloves on to keep the lotion on and it will stop you from picking.
...............................
|
