A
female
age
30-35,
*ily_june
writes:Hi, My boyfriend of over 2 years is away to Europe for the next 2 weeks due to work commitments. We are extremely close, and best friends as well as a couple. This means that we see each other literally all the time and enjoy each other's constant company.I'm really worried that I won't be able to cope while he's away. I spent the first day he was gone in tears for the whole day. I don't have friends where I live, so I feel I have nothing to keep my mind occupied.Do any of you have any suggestions, or a similar experience and how you coped? Any advice would be welcome.Thank you x x x
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female
reader, zannepoo +, writes (27 July 2015):
So funny I am 53 years of age. A year ago i decided to end my 25 year marriage. 4 children. I was desperately unhappy. Anyway, I'm happy now. A few months after separating a guy, my landlord, paid me some attention. I agreed to go out with him after about 1 month of flirtatious texting and chatting face to face. I have been seeing him for 9 months. It started very slowly and now I see him up to 2-3 times a week. He's a confirmed bachelor. He's going away for 3.5 weeks to Tenerife with his son from a previous relationship and his sister's family and I am going to miss him terribly. He loves to go away and is planning more trips in the future. I really hope I will be included in them, if not all maybe some hahahhaha anyway like you Lily_june I became fixated and sad about his departure, tomorrow he leaves. However, this weekend just gone he made Saturday night so special, he has booked me tomorrow before he leaves and that makes me feel special and it also makes me think he does like me quite a lot because he must have hundreds of things to do before he leaves. Anyway, what I am trying to get to is I'm old and been through a lot of heartache and have now fallen in love again with someone who is a lot more experienced in the love stakes than me, he hasn't even said he loves me. I too am pining inside but I will make myself busy, I will look at it as a chance to grow and I will not stress him out about my insecurities because they are just that MY INSECURITIES, however, I will count every hour of every day and hope that when he returns he will want me to continue our relationship because I don't even have that to bank on. All I know is that we are exclusive but he could very well go off me in 3.5 weeks hahahahhaa You will be faced with so many challenges in your life but look at it as a chance to succeed and grow. I have looked at my year's separation as just that. I'm growing and smiling. I found all the responses very interesting. I wish more men had responded!!Oh by the way, I took up pole dancing when I separated and I focus on that when my boyfriend hasn't called because he's busy. Believe me doing something like that and making yourself feel so sexy and feminine does you the world of good.X
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2012): Ok at the end of the day, its only two weeks. I haven't seen my boyfriend in two months because he's away for work and I miss him every minute of every day, but you can deal with it. It can even be good for you because it means you can have a life of your own instead of being totally reliant on someone else for your happiness. Just think, he'll be back in no time.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (6 June 2012):
 I'm not judging your relationship. I am simply say that what you are currently doing is not healthy, nor is it good for your relationship. That doesn't equal judging. It simply means that you have the option now: smother this relationship into an early grave, or nurture it and make it grow. You make that choice. The relationship between you and him, sure, I don't know you, but from personal experience I know what such smothering can lead to. And what other people told you is to warn you. Sure, none of us can see the future, but neither can you. There is a chance this relationship will end, not necessarily from you and him being together too much. But there is always a chance that ANY relationship may fail. That isn't judging. That's facts. And we don't want to see you in a mess if it happens, nor do we want you to fall into the same "traps" as many of us have personally experience, or seen happen.
My advice for you on how to cope is to realize, and acknowledge, that distance IS good for you, him, and the relationship. Distance is not something to cry over, or feel horrible about. It isn't fun, but it is necessary. And you should embrace this chance you have to be on your own for a couple of weeks to develop abilities on how to cope. And you are the only one who knows what you should do, what you want to do, and what makes you happy on your own. But the clue here is: you need to find ways to be happy on your own, or through you very own friends. You need to find a source of happiness OUTSIDE of the relationship.
This is something that takes time. You might not have managed this in just two weeks. But learn how to do it now, and while you are still able to see him every day, and then next time he goes away you will know how to deal with it. You need to learn how to, not just for NOW. You need to learn this for the future, so that you and him can have a good and happy relationship in the future as well.
And, to point this out clearly so there is no misunderstanding: what isn't healthy here is that you are crying and feeling unable to cope because he is going away for two weeks. In a healthy mental state this would be no problem at all. Your depression might be the reason for why you feel unable to handle it. But that just gives you even more of a reason to learn how to get by, and be happy, on your own.
The unhealthy part is needing someone else to give you all your happiness. That's unhealthy for everyone, not just something I say that is aimed at you alone.
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female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (5 June 2012):
 It's the perfect time for you to make some friends. OK, that might sound like too much of a challenge so start with making one friend and go from there. Ask a colleague from work if they want to go for a drink after work or if they want to have lunch with you. Try saying 'hi' to a neighbour and see if you can strike up a conversation that could lead to a friendly chat. Spend those free hours in the evening phoning old friends and catching up with them - chances are that you might have lost touch while you've been in this very close and all consuming relationship. At the weekend make some plans - there are plenty of things you can do on your own if your feel isolated, even if it's just going for a walk or going to the cinema. Or, since you sound like you're away from 'home', think of visiting family and friends for a night or two. You have the time so it's killing two birds with one stone. In the long term, so this doesn't happen again and again (because there will be more separations), think of working on making new friends and branching out a bit. It might not be easy but I think it will be really rewarding for you. Good luck for the next fortnight and try to keep yourself busy even if you just feel like sitting and being miserable - no, especially if you just feel like sitting and being miserable.
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female
reader, Battista +, writes (5 June 2012):
OP you've already been given some excellent advice. You have to remember that what you construe as criticism may actually be good advice even if you don't really want to hear it.
There are hundreds of things you can do to keep busy. I used to feel the same way as you do, but with my ex. Looking back I know it was very unhealthy but at the time I found it so hard to get myself out of the "I'm missing him and can't stop crying" mode. But it's so important that you do.
You basically have to try and direct your thoughts and energies into other things you enjoy doing. Going to work helps of course, and then in the evenings and weekends you should try and make plans to do stuff you usually like or look forward to. Can you take a trip to see friends and family at weekends? Or as some friends to come down and stay over with you? How about going to the gym, or a spa day or something. This is a great opportunity to do stuff which you can't really do with your bf around, so make the most of it. I personally found that keeping busy is the best way to deal with being apart, and you soon get used to it.
You'll be fine, once you make plans for the 2 weeks.
And try not to be defensive about what people write on here, they are trying to help you, not going out of their way to upset you. People on here have better things to do than that and give up their time to try and offer you good advice. You asked for other people's experiences and were given them. No need to take umbrage.
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reader, N91 +, writes (5 June 2012):
 Well it's quite clear that my intentions aren't to purposefully criticize people, or else I wouldn't of stuck around here for as long as I have done. I don't beat around the bush, I give my advice straight to the point and unfortunately if it comes across as rude or abrupt, which I don't think it generally does, then that's up to the discretion of the reader how they take it.
All I did was give both, a similar experience and some advice as you requested and you somehow took offence to it, that's not my fault I'm afraid, as it wasn't written to offend, it was written to do as you asked.
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female
reader, lily_june +, writes (5 June 2012):
lily_june is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you, So_Very_Confused. Your advice really meant a lot to me, and thank you for sharing your own experience. I know I can do this, I just need to keep occupied and look forward to him coming home. I'm going to consider medical help for my depression.
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female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (5 June 2012):
OP, some people have been a bit blunt but no one has been rude of has set out to upset you. People are actually trying to be supportive. It can be a bit surprising to read your post without knowing about the depression. My own first thought was about my cousin and his wife: she is pregnant with their first child and he has just been posted to Afghanistan for five months. Knowing that you have depression makes the whole picture change, however, and I think that this is an opportunity for you to try to recognise and tackle that issue. You are in the UK (so am I) and I have experience of how this works. Go to your GP. Say that you think that you would benefit from talking therapy. Don't be fobbed off with just antidepressants. They serve a purpose but without therapy antidepressants are the equivalent of a sticking plaster. Please think about it. Please don't brood over the comments that you have found insulting. I wish you well.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 June 2012):
 Ok I’ll bite…
1. I hope you are on medication and in therapy to work on your depression. I’ve BTDT and I can strongly agree that seeking professional help in general for the depression is a good idea. That’s an aside on your other issue.
2. I love what CindyCares wrote and hope you read it over and over.
3. In December 2010 I started a relationship with a man that lived 2 hours away by car. We spent a long time driving back and forth weekly to see each other and sometimes just THREE days apart was killer for me so I understand how you feel. There were times early on that we were apart for 3 or more weeks…Now he is with me full time (he gave up his apartment and all his friends and his life where he was and moved to be with me in December 2011. We won’t even sleep in separate beds now (I’m a restless sleeper and I keep him up but he’d rather be tired than be apart from me)
4. I understand you are scared to be alone. I understand you are worried. I understand you are not looking forward to it. I will not say “it’s JUST two weeks”… because to you right now two weeks is a lifetime. I will say that when all is said and done, you will hopefully look back at it and go “I survived… I CAN DO THIS” and that the pain you fear will not be as bad… sometimes the anticipation of something is worse than the actual event…
5. Now for things to do… talk walks, work out, work overtime if you can… go shopping for things for your home with him, write him long long LONG letters about missing him… (seriously I find that putting things on paper makes them all the more real for me).. you don’t have to give him the letters or even tell him about them… you can burn them… or better yet seal them up in an envelope and put them away for later on (years from now)… it’s a trip for me to read the stuff I wrote at 16…. Or even at 30. I’m amazed over the years how I’ve changed and matured… I thought I was all grown up at 21. I was not. Growth happens over time so you won’t see it right away… it takes the tincture of time to help us see our growth…
6. Do you have any movies or shows to catch up on? Schedule time to watch all your chick flicks or catch up on your series watching… what about computer games… they can pass the time…
7. AND PLAN the reunion. Write it all down… dialog and all if you like…. What you will do, what you will wear, what you will say… how you will touch him… kiss him welcome him home to your loving arms… obsess about it ON PAPER.
truthfully 2 weeks is a blink of an eye in the span of life... but I know you don't see that and don't feel that..
please continue to seek medical attention for your depression... it's a neurobiochemical imbalance in your brain and if you can fix the chemicals then maybe your own seratonin can take over...
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (5 June 2012):
 OP, I hope this is just your depression talking.
Depressed people are very good at catastrophization. I.E. you want us to answer , based on your warped irrational unchallengeable perception that a 2 weeks absence of a partner is necessarily an absolute , intolerable, cruel ordeal, and that is NORMAL to feel as you do if you are in love.
Therefore,you get miffed if we get too " personal " about your relationship and say : butt out of my business- just the facts , please. Just technical advise about how to while the time away.
In other words, you want rational advice for an irrational situation. It ain't going to work. I'll show you:
There are dozens of things you can do to kill time and keep yourself busy even without friends,on your own.
You can go to the gym . You can go swimming. You can cook. You can read, paint, draw, listen to music, watch your favourite TV programs. You can write your diary, join a volunteer group, go shopping ,go to movies , go to church, go...Note, I am just at the beginning of a looong list, but I'll stop now ,because ANYWAY you are going to stop me , saying :
" No. No. NOOOOO! I have tried all these things and it does not work, I can't bother, I can't focus, I can't concentrate, all I think is of him, and how much I am missing him and longing for him and feeling lonely, without him nothing interests me, nothing pleases me, nothing makes me laugh ".
So, the problem is not a 2 weeks absence, which is absolutely nothing , in general. Because MOST people will miss their loved ones, and they'll look forward to be reunited, of course- yet they will still be able to function normally and serenely and to feel at least MOMENTS of fun, happiness, cheer , pleasure. While , for you the possibility of feeling these things is only depending from the presence or absence of another specific person. You have become fusional. It's like you have become a part of him, and when he's gone you lose contact with yourself , you don't know how to give yourself joy or keep yourself entertained.
Now, you say you have a job, and a normal life. Add to this 8 hours for sleep,... what 's left totally "empty" what will it be, 4 hours a day ? And , you can't stay with yourself 4 hours a day for such a limited amount of time ?....
That's a problem ,OP, and it requires your attention. The poster that suggested you might break up in future was not jinxing you , OP, just being sensible. Things change, and we wish you that this will never be your case, but, if it is ? Or just only if his work will require more trips, more absences ?... You can't just freak out every time. So, rationally speaking, the idea would not be to learn some magic trick to " cope " with this very normal event- a 2 weeks separation, that generally does not require special coping skills; it would be to learn and live your relationship in a healthier, more independent, less neurotic way.
Maybe this is something that you can explore with your therapist, if you have one . Are you currently being treated for your depression ?
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female
reader, lily_june +, writes (5 June 2012):
lily_june is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to everyone who gave me advise on how to keep my mind occupied. It really means a lot.To everyone saying "get a grip" and "this is an unhealthy relationship" you don't know anything about me or my relationship, so please don't judge it. It works for us, we don't argue, we just love each other's company. I understand that spending so much time together has made me dependant on him, and that's what I'm trying to get over. N91, I'm not getting defensive. I'm telling you the truth. I think you're really quite heartless to say what you've said. I'm in an extremely happy and loving relationship. The only flaw is that it's hard to be apart, something which I'm working on fixing, and was hoping to get help with. Unfortunately, some of these comments have made me more upset than I was. Please take some time to think about seriously hurting people's feelings before posting. I'm not trying to make excuses, but I just shared with you that I've got depression, which you didn't take into consideration at all.Again, thank you to everyone who genuinely tried to help.
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female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (5 June 2012):
You didn't mention your recent diagnosis of depression in your original post, and it's relevant to your situation. I think that people such as N91 are trying to help you rather than attack you. You are feeling fragile at the moment, but I don't think that anyone is really attacking you, just trying to help you get things in to perspective.
What is also relevant is that he is the only one helping you with your depression - speaking from personal experience, I know that that might put quite a lot of pressure on the relationship eventually. My experience is that it's hard for someone else to cope with mental health problems, especially if you're not sharing it with anyone else such as friends or family. It really is quite a lot to put on someone. I kindly suggest: talking to your GP and asking for a referral to a counsellor so that you have a professional to talk about issues with and try to work out what is underlying your depression. He/ she can also help you to devise coping strategies for next time you are apart from your boyfriend. Seriously, you need to think about that because you could completely fall apart if the relationship ended and no body wants that to happen.
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male
reader, N91 +, writes (5 June 2012):
Well it's weird considering it was exactly how you described it.
And if you feel that I criticized you well that's just tough luck, look at what everybody else has posted about the wives and girlfriends of guys who are in the army, who are away for half of the year at a time, with the added danger of being KILLED at any time, think how they feel and here you are not knowing how to cope with a 2 week break, oh please. Get a grip!
No need to get all defensive because you can't face the truth.
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female
reader, Rebeccaa +, writes (5 June 2012):
 I know how you feel, me and my boyfriend are like that we see eachother every single day, and if I don't see him for like 2 days we miss eachother like crazy, but he's going on holiday in september for 11 days and I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. I did get invited but my mum didn't want me to go because it's all the way around the country.
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female
reader, curious1987  +, writes (5 June 2012):
 its only 2"weeks the time will fly by. many of my friends and there bfs actially live in different states ( 10 hr drives apart one way) and they onky see each other four days a fortnight. ciz ofvwork obligationd u really need to find something to take away the time do u not work zo u cant hang out with work friends? school friends? uni friends? try ti find whau likecdoing and use that to occupy urself
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reader, chigirl +, writes (5 June 2012):
This experience is GOOD for you and good for your relationship. It's not good for the relationship, or for your own mental health, to be so dependent on someone else. You might think your relationship works just fine being together 24/7, but it's not. I had a relationship like that where we literally did not spend a day apart for an entire year. Then when we had to spend a weekend apart I was in tears like you, and couldn't sleep because he wasn't there beside me.
But it was too intense, and such an intense connection and intense level of contact makes it veeeery easy for small things to ruin everything. And it happens suddenly too. Before I knew it me and that boyfriend were arguing over EVERYTHING, and I mean even the littlest most stupid things. When two people are soooo close, it doesn't take much more than a pebble to notice something has come between you. And that pebble is going to feel like a huge mountain.
Whereas now, when I have more "normal" contact with boyfriends, the fights are not frequent, and then are not over small stupid things. Small stupid things can now easily be overlooked.
You sitting here crying is an example of this sort of "pebble" that I'm talking about. In a healthy relationship two weeks distance would not be a problem. You know you'd see him again, he isn't dead, and come on. It's just two weeks. Yet, you're in tears, not knowing how to cope, and your letter gives me almost a feeling of a suicide letter. I mean "don't know how to cope", what's that supposed to mean? That you'll fall apart and die? For just two weeks? See how insane that is?
Two weeks is nothing. It's a pebble. Create a healthy distance between you and your boyfriend. You are not one and the same person, you DO have a life without him, you are your OWN person, not him, and you CAN cope without him. You do not die without him.
Don't spend so much time together, because you see now what the result is, and there is no way you can live separate lives if you are attached by the hip. And without separate lives you lose yourself, and are reduced to tears like now, or even worse: you enter a crisis where you no longer know who you are. Or: you lose the ability to stay SANE when things go wrong. What if he dumps you and you are so codependent on him?
I thought I was going to die when I broke up with the boyfriend I was so close to. I cried for him for YEARS. I understood why people kill themselves when relationships fall apart, seriously, because I was so attached to him. That wasn't healthy. Don't go there. Realize that some distance is GOOD and HEALTHY.
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female
reader, oldbag +, writes (5 June 2012):
 Hi
You really need to get a grip, 2 weeks is nothing,its 14 days thats all. If you can't cope for that brief time you need to take a long hard look at your life and yourself.Some peoples army husbands get sent to war zones, for months,risking their lives,its a heck of alot worse.
It sounds like he is your whole world, which is never healthy. You NEED to make friends,get a life of your own, find some interests.
Do you work? Are you at College? Do you live near family?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2012): N91 gave very good advice. Im almost in the same situation. My bf and i both have different friends, but his friends live about an hr or two away, my friends are always busy or just want to hang out with me, but i have two young children close in age. I live in a small town and most of my friends are a town over. My bf uses my car because his is broken down. He is now sole provider, although i was for about 2 or 3 years. Its difficult for me when hes gone because he is all i have to look forward to. I clean the house and care for the kids and thats my life. I would love to meet friends close by that dont mind kids. I find many of my interests have gone and i take interest in what hes interested in. Thankfully im going to school again in fall and hopefully wont feel so stuck. You should try to meet friends, find hobbies, not let your life revolve around one person. Try to focus on what makes you a better person. I often lose sight of that and find myself struggling to take my own advice. Dont end up like this.
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reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (5 June 2012):
 2 weeks. Its only two weeks for heaven's sake. What about those women with several kids at their feet whose husband's work takes them away for several months at a time.
If you dont have anything to occupy your mind read a book, crochet a blanket, start a herb garden, get an old chair from the junk shop, rub it back and paint it, go to the cheaper sessions and catch up on the movies, or if you are not working go visit somebody for the two weeks, family or friends you havent seen for a while.
Two weeks is but a blink of an eye in the greater scheme of things.
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reader, lily_june +, writes (5 June 2012):
lily_june is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe does feel the same way about me, and I don't have many friends here because they've all had to move away because of their careers.
I asked advice on how to cope with missing someone, I did not want or expect to be criticized. I don't spend every waking minute with him, we do our own things too. The difference is that I like to know I'm able to see him whenever I need to, and it's extremely difficult being away from someone you care about so much.
I've also recently been diagnosed with depression, he's the only one I want to know about it, which means he's the only one helping me through it.
I have my own job and my own life. It's difficult to make time go fast when your friends live so far away.
I seriously advice you to think before speaking out and judging people's relationships. My relationship is nothing like your brother's, so I'm not required to consider what happen if me and my boyfriend were to break up.
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female
reader, G's_Girl  +, writes (5 June 2012):
 Hi Lily,
N91 already gave you very good advice... the only additional info I can give you is:
*) You say you don't have friends where you live, what about family? Organise an outting with various family members every alternate day.
*) Go and see a movie if you're into that, for the early show which is not odd if you go alone. It will help keep your mind occupied, and you will have something to share by the time your boyfriend returns.
*) Journal - write a daily account of everything you have been up to, what you experienced, enjoyed about the day, what news you or people you know have, etc. Then when he returns you can share that with him, while he entertains you with his travel update.
*) Read, if you're into that. Books, magazines, or research on the internet. Read articles on self help, on not having dependency in relationships. Crying for a whole day because your bf went on a 2 week trip is extreme. He will return and you can resume your relationship and in the meantime, you have all the time in the world to pamper yourself.
*) Go for massages, or take long relaxing bubble baths. Do your nails. Get a haircut. Do all sorts of things to surprise him when he returns.
*) Organise things at home that you never have time for, because you like to be with him 24/7. Organise shelves, cupboards, jewellery, first aid boxes, all those odds and ends that need time, which you now have, for 2 weeks :)
*) Look at this whole positively - it's a wonderful opportunity for him, you want to support and encourage him through it, not bring him down by being so sad you cry all day until he returns. He won't be excited by that, he will feel he must be everything to you, which is not healthy. You need a balance of everything in life.
The time will go quickly and you can then enjoy reuniting with him. I hope some of the above helps!
Best Wishes.
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female
reader, missmatador +, writes (5 June 2012):
 Dear Lily-JuneBeing apart from your partner is hard, especially when they are your closest friend and your longing is a testament to how strongly you feel for him.You will need to remember that he will be missing you just as much as you will be missing him but that he will have work commitments that will occupy him while he is away. In order to not feel unimportant or that you're longing is not returned, you need to find ways to fill your time. Maybe go out each day and do some walking, read an interesting book, get in touch with old friends or family. It's easy to get swept up in love and forget about what you were interested in on your own. When my partner goes away, I like to rediscover my art. This gives me something to show him when he returns.Give yourself one thing to do each day and, then, maybe write about it. Keep personal letters that you can write only to him and he can read them when he gets back.Most importantly, set yourselves one secluded time a day that you call and speak to each other without interruptions. It will be your special time together while he is away.Remember that absence does make the heart grow fonder and these distances and time you spend apart are just as important to your relationship as being together.Good luck! You're going to be okay!LoveMiss Matadorxxx
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reader, N91 +, writes (5 June 2012):
Why don't you have friends where you live? Have you recently moved there or just don't get out much?
I ask that because I have a very similar thing that happened with my brother and his now EX-girlfriend. Basically, they spent every waking moment together, they were absolutely inseperable, he moved out of our house and went to live with her after a few months of being together and my family rarely ever saw him.
He stopped coming to the gym with me, lost a lot of weight. He stopped hanging out with his friends and started letting a lot of people down with arrangements, all because he let his GF come first in life and wasn't prioritizing anything else in his life.
A few months later, that's when the arguments started and the relationship started to become on/off like a lightswitch for a few months and then eventually after about the tenth time, my brother grew tired and just finally ended it, he asked me for advice various times throughout the relationship and I was always there for him.
What I told him was that, you NEED to have your own life away from your partner, you need your own friends, your own hobbies and just a little 'you' time. It's extremely unhealthy to rely everything on your partner and spend all your time together.
Does he feel the same in regards to missing you? Or does he feel that you're going a little over the top? I mean, it's only 2 weeks, it's not really a long time is it? And if you had your own mates or some hobbies or plans to fill up the time, then it'd fly.
Just think, if you guys broke up (god forbid), then what would happen? Where would you be then? You'd be on your own with no body to fall back on to help you through the breakup, so I think it'd be very wise for you to think about these things and do something about it, or some time down the line, you might end up like my brother and his ex-girlfriend...
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reader, shellycg +, writes (5 June 2012):
 Hi
The thing is ... ever heard the saying absence makes the heart grow fonder ? well you obviously love each other very much and its only human nature to be upset the first day he went... but think about it just for a minuate - try and find something you enjoy doing like for eg an art club, charity work , things that you wouldnt normally do and then you get the best of both worlds - time will fly by without you knowing and you will meet new friends - trust me it works ... good luck ... let us know how you are doing... x
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female
reader, Nephertite  +, writes (5 June 2012):
 My bf went away for a week once and it was DEVASTATING. it really was. I cried so hard every day .. but now looking back (we've broken up) I wish I was not like that. The reason why I felt that way was because we got so close and spent so much time together and that made me dependant on him. I think that is the same for you no? If not you would not be so broken now. Pls try to find something you like/love to occupy yourself with. Try to make friends. If not join a new sport like yoga or some other activity. Go everyday. Clear your heart and mind and take time to rediscover yourself. Find out who u were before he came along. Tap into the happiness. Learn how to be happy with yourself. You are your best friend. You know yourself best. Think happy thoughts. If you feel lonely, call your friends. Talk on the phone. Watch a movie. Call your boyfriend when he is free. Give him space to breathe too, don't let him feel guilty for leaving you. He needs a peace of mind too and you need yours as well. :) You can do this. Distance makes the ehart grow fonder. As he is so far away, let him remember how good it is to be WITH you and don't let him remember how hard it is to cajole you when he is so far away. Let him hold on to the good things so that he misses being with you and wants to come home to your loving arms. I know from experience.. when you become too needy it iwll make him sad and stressed. When a guy is stressed he can't think clearly and the distance might mess with his mind. So help him remember and hold on to good times by being the BEST friend and lover u can be from afar. Stay positive and keep him positive.
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