A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok ok I can do this _ SO! This is my first question on a site like this so... If this question is dumb please be gentle.. Sooo I have a boyfriend I love him a lot! The thing is it's long distance and things get a bit... lonely.. He's a total video game nerd so we don't text or talk or IM or whatever as much as before on account of the both of us being busy with our hs-college transitions, but I really love him! We've never done anything sexual before.. ever.. and ya know I'm a young lady reaching her prime I feel that I need.... something.. I love my boyfriend very much!!!, but would it be a horrible thing to do if I were to cheat on him to have a small little tiny fling with a guy... the distance in our long distance relationship is very.... very.. very.. distant... so he wouldn't ever find out.. I think. I love my boyfriend, but I want to be intimate with someone... now-ish...
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female
reader, Kittykatt988  +, writes (8 June 2012):
Don't cheat, it's not worth it. Break it off with him and have your fun but don't be with someone and lie and decive them. Sex is just not worth the ultimate betrayal.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2012): Long distance relationships servive on three things, communication, trust , and loyalty. You want to break the most important thing in a retionship wich is loyalty, because once you do that the other two most important things will eventually go away. ecpecially if he finds out. I think you cant handle a long distance reltionship, because you wanna cheat on him. Even if he doesnt find out and you claim that you 'love' him, you will feel horriable afterwords, and if you dont then you dont really love him. You need to let him go before you hurt this poor guy. im not being mean im just being honest...
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A
male
reader, BETTERFLIRT +, writes (5 June 2012):
 You need 2 things be keep being in the long distance relationship and in companionship of someone next to you. They are both the opposite of each other. You can still do anything you decerve nonetheless everyone brings with it its consequences. It is hard to resist when biologically your body and mind ask for sexual activities (anyhow). May I say to do it not? I supposed to knowing what this can become but I let you decide by yourself. You can not run into 2 routes at the same time. If you can not anymore give the long one up and find someone next to you anyway you will have to make the choice knowing you will have to live with one of them a day.
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A
female
reader, Foot-In-My-Mouth  +, writes (5 June 2012):
 If you decide to cheat on him, make sure that later on, maybe years later, when you're together with your boyfriend, you don't get drunk or get emotional and confess. That would be THE end.
The trick to successful cheating is to forget that you ever did it. Deny it even to yourself.
I'm only answering your question. I don't condone cheating and if you have an active conscience, you'll live to regret it. If you don't have a conscience at all (lucky you), cheat away to glory!
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A
female
reader, missmatador +, writes (5 June 2012):
 Dear Anon,Long distance is awful. Especially if there is no routine to when you communicate or when you are next going to see eachother. It can make the distance even longer.Before we go into what you -want- perhaps we should go into what you need. You apparently need close interaction. You need company. And you need a routine in a relationship. It seems as though your relationship provides you with none of those things.You also seem to be suffering from a lack of communication with your boyfriend. And that won't be helping matters.My first piece of advice would be to look into whether you are getting what you need out of this relationship.Secondly! What you WANT. You can love someone to the ends of the earth but if they have no real physical presence in your life on a routine basis then you aren't going to experiance all the joys that a relationship has to offer. And at 18 those experiances are something to be missed.If these physical exchanges are important to you then you should not be in a relationship with someone who cannot provide them for you.Cheating provides an inconclusive outlet for needs that are not being met and it sounds like, if you do it once, you will want to do it again and again and again and again...until either the guilt tears you in two OR your boyfriend and you decided to be together in one place.In the grand scheme of the world, an innocent fling with random guy so far away from your lover might seem trivial...but guilt between two people is as destructive as a nuclear bomb.You have the choice of either living with the guilt or breaking up with your boyfriend and finding someone to love who can give you all the things you want from a relationship.Good luckMiss Matador
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2012): It's long-distance - can you tell us, how long is the distance, and how often do you actually see your boyfriend physically, in person? If there are hundreds of miles involved and many months where you don't see one another, it may be that you're more entitled to feel this way than the other posters have accounted for.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 June 2012):
 Dear Dear DEAR OP,
If you have NEVER had any sexual experience you have NO clue what you are missing and to be honest at 18 it’s not that great. A woman does not reach her sexual prime till about age 35.
Sex for most women doesn’t get good till our 30s… you have plenty of time…
If you are THAT distant and you don’t see each other, I think it’s best to end the charade of a LDR boyfriend and move on to someone closer.
I just ended an LDR with a man. He moved in with me. we were two hours apart by car and spent a year driving back and forth. I had many lonely nights without him but I NEVER considered another man or woman for physical comfort.
You say you love him but if you truly loved him then you would not be looking for a little bit on the side. The fact that you say “he wouldn’t ever find out” shows that you know it’s wrong to do it.
Either forget this idea or break up with him and find a local fellow to scratch this itch of yours.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (5 June 2012):
 As Josephy said, you want to cheat and would like us to tell you how. No way :-).
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (5 June 2012):
 Yes of course it would be horrible to cheat on him and you know that. There is no such thing as a "small little tiny fling". A fling is a fling. And I'm not sure if you're a virgin or not, but I'd really advise that you *don't* lose your virginity to a fling.
I know you say you love him, but I question what kind of love it is when you are planning to cheat on him in cold blood. If the long distance thing isn't working, then have some respect for both of you and finish the relationship. Then you can look for someone local to date.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (5 June 2012):
 Come onnnnnnnnnn? Are you friggin kidding?
Why in god's name would you come here expecting people to say 'Sure, what he doesn't know can't hurt him so have a fling with as many guys as ya like!!'
Not gonna happen, you either end the relationship or get this thought out of your head - The truth is likely to come out in the end, so just use your common sense.
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A
female
reader, josephy  +, writes (5 June 2012):
 So let me get this righte. You want us to give you our permission to cheat on your beloved one, then after a few days you will come asking us " I cheated on him, what do I do now????".
Do what is right. You don't want to stay with him tell him. We don't tell people to go behinde someone's back and cheat.
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A
female
reader, jinxx  +, writes (5 June 2012):
 Yes, it would be horrible. I don't understand how you can say you love him, but want to cheat on him in the same sentence. I understand people have needs, but people have feelings, too.
Whether or not he would find out is irrelevant. Have you ever cheated on a boyfriend in the past? Living with what you have done is horribly difficult. The guilt you feel is overwhelming (for most people, I HOPE). I strongly advise you NOT to cheat, because I am sure you would regret it.
My advice would be to talk to your boyfriend about how you are feeling. I have a feeling he wouldn't object to being intimate with you when he's home.
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