A
female
age
30-35,
*earl1984
writes:so there was this boy who liked me and i felt the same way but we never really acted on it.so recently i invited him over to my place and we ended up sleeping together.so later my bestfriend came over and we were just chilling when i went to get something from my kitchen i came back and they were having sex on my bed.how could she do that to me and she know how i felt about this guy.she said she was drunk and apologizes.i dont know what to do.help
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2012): Your "best friend" is a b**** and your "boyfriend" is an ass, you should ditch both of them and never talk to them again. They aren't being fair. Your "best friend" knew you had feelings for him, what if she was drunk? She still had some sort of conscience. Now your "boyfriend" it's obvious you better leave, to me it feels like he only wanted you for sex and now that he finally had it he needed a plan to get rid of you so he decided to f*** your "best friend" and blame your best friend about it so he could leave quietly. I would say get an official boyfriend before showing him off to everyone. You deserve so much better than BOTH of them and I hope you're healing well without these people, take care :)
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female
reader, mooh  +, writes (9 June 2012):
Rethink about how you value that guy and your "best friend". Being drunk is not an excuse for everything and this makes the guy even more of a scumbag for taking advantage of a girl who's not clear in her head.
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female
reader, pearl1984 +, writes (7 June 2012):
pearl1984 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyea my friend did know i slept with him because i told her
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2012): Hang on a minute. Did your friend know you slept with him that day? If not then while it wasn't a cool thing to do she was drunk and he isn't your boyfriend. It's not her fault you never did anything about it.
He's a dog so get rid of him. But I wouldn't be so quick to ditch a friend over having drunken sex with a guy you like. You can't call dibs on a guy and never do anything about it OP. That means he's fair game for others to get with.
You should get rid of this guy, get tested for STD's regardless of whether you used protection and sit down and have a proper discussion with your friend.
Next time you like a guy don't piss around never doing anything about and then complain because someone else got there first or in this case second. They are both free and single, and this guy obviously has no respect. But I really have no time for people who moan about friends getting with people they like. They're only off limits if you're doing something about it, if not then you can pine all you want someone else is going to step in.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (7 June 2012):
Ditch the guy, ditch the friend.
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female
reader, pearl1984 +, writes (7 June 2012):
pearl1984 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks y'all for the advice.really appreciate it
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 June 2012):
 The guy is a sleaze bag. He had sex with you first and then when he got the change he tagged your friend. EWW I would not talk/see that guy again.
Your friend can use all the "I was drunk" excuses in the book, but she would be off my friends list as well.
My advice. DO NOT sleep with a guy til you get to know him a bit. When you sleep with a guy that fast he will assume that you just want sex too.
If you LIKE a guy, hang out with him, go to the movies, out to dinner (on DATES, you know) take the time to see if he really is a good guy.
I hope both you and your friend used protection. If you didn't I suggest you go get tested in a few weeks and then again in 3-6 months. A guy who sleeps around like that, can be a walking STD garbage can.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2012): Obviously you're going to be upset with your friend, but look at the bigger picture, it just goes to show what sort of a guy he is, and if it wasn't your friend he did it with, it would have been somebody else (He has probably been sleeping with other girls while he's not been in your company claiming he likes them just as he did you). Your friend in a way did what a friend is suppose to do, and she exposed him for what he is, a player... And proved you don't need somebody like him in your life. As for your friend, well if the friendship is worth keeping intact, then she will not pull another stunt like that again on you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2012): rough deal.
doesn't look like he is boyfriend material. seriously, a spectacular fail at the first hurdle. it really does suggest to me that he doesn't think much of you if he was so eager to seize the opportunity to have sex with someone else in your room, in your bed, with you in the apartment.
so, i advise you to scratch him off the list of possible boyfriend candidates, as well as someone you can expect any degree of loyalty from.
which brings us conveniently to your friend. Again a huge poor show of loyalty. If you are all into this 'sex is nothing more than a handshake' and all your peer group are jumping in and out of each others beds with each others partners and random hookups, there is no real problem. but if not, then why would you use the word friend to describe someone who would treat you so dismissively and disrepctfully?
if you seriously rate her friendship, then she has a lot of grovelling to do and needs to be made aware of how badly she treated you. otherwise i would downgrade her to an aquaintance, cos you don't need friendship like she is offering, it's not the real deal.
as to him, he ain't gonna be able to resist an offer, he has already demonstrated his lack of impulse control, so i would let him go, catch up with him when he has matured if you gotta, but leave it for now.
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (7 June 2012):
 I agree about the guy being just as much to blame here, but technically, he wasn't a boyfriend. From your phrasing, it sounds like you and he just liked each other, so you bypassed dating and getting to know each other and went straight for the hookup.
I think your friend should have shown a lot more loyalty having known you for longer and invested more time into the relationship.
Both of them should no longer be part of your life. And, a good way to determine whether or not a guy truly likes you is to wait to have sex. Relationships are to be savored slowly!
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reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (7 June 2012):
 Forget about the girl, how could the GUY do this to you? He's as much at fault as anyone else! I say get rid of both of them, the girl is no good and neither is the guy. You're better off without both of them. You don't want a guy who humps everything that moves and a girl who jumps at any available guy
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reader, grymsoul +, writes (7 June 2012):
 You're kidding right? How could SHE do this to you? It doesn't sound as if you're putting much blame on the guy at all. In fact, you make it sound as if it wasn't his fault a girl came on to him. He had no free will right? He couldn't possibly have turn her down. That would've been very unmanly of him, right?
This guy didn't like you the way you wanted him to. You were both easy catches to him. Why would he want you for anything more than sex when he could just as easily have you both? Oh and some friend she was. I mean, WoW, in your own place, several moments after you left?? It seems they dont value you as much as you might have valued them. Let them both go. They sound like utter trash to me.
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reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (7 June 2012):
 Neither of those two are your friends. Leave them.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2012): Shouldn't you be more concerned why your boyfriend done this????? sounds like a charming charter i don't think. dump both of them fast
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male
reader, N91 +, writes (7 June 2012):
 Well this guy obviously didn't like you very much huh? If he's willing to jump in bed with your best friend when you're out the room, makes you wonder who else he's jumping into bed with doesn't it?
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