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Why did my ex say all that he did?

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 December 2012) 5 Answers - (Newest, 10 December 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I bumped into my ex in a pub yesterday. He told me that he had seen me in another pub earlier that day, as he was walking past the pub at the time, but when he went in that pub later on, i had left. I was surprised that he noticed that i had left. Do you think it's a coincidence that he went in that pub, or do you think he went in because he knew i was there ?. He asked me if i was meeting my boyfriend later on that night ( i wasn't ), and he also asked if i would ever marry my boyfriend if he asked me. He also noticed that i had a new hairstyle and he said it looked nice. He said a few things that upset me ,but maybe i am being too sensitive about that ?. He told me that he had been talking to a married woman once ( he didn't say when it was ), and he said that he thought she was good looking, but he told her that he doesn't go with married women. I was upset by that because i still like him. He mentioned a couple of things that i had done wrong too, like when i saw him another time recently, he gave me money to buy drinks for us both, and i forgot to give him the change back, and he said he thought that was cheeky. I explained to him that i didn't do it deliberately though. He also said that i look stocky. I don't think i am stocky. I only weigh 7 stone 7 ounces. I am quite filled out though, not skinny. That kind of hurt my feelings too, as i am self conscious about my appearance. When we went to another pub, he kept asking me if he could buy me a drink.I kept refusing ( i was quite upset ) , but he bought me one anyway. I also started crying ( i feel embarrassed about that now ). He said he hoped i wasn't upset by anything he had said, and he asked me if i was going to be ok. When we were leaving, he gave me a kiss on the lips !.

I have heard from one of his friends that he asked his friend if i had been asking about him recently. Why would he say that, and do you think that's true ?. I wish i knew what he really thinks of me.

View related questions: married woman, money, my ex

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (10 December 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony aunthe sees you as a toy he can play with.

he had a laundry list of things you did or said wrong

he criticized you, he disregarded your feelings (you said no to t drink he decided he knew better and got you one anyway)

he's a total loser.

I'm sure he was asking if you asked about him... he wants to know if his little game worked... and if it did he will continue to jerk you around.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (10 December 2012):

Honeypie agony auntHe was jerking you chain to see if he could still make you squirm.

I would honestly NOT hang out or chat with him when all he does it pointing out all your "flaws". He is trying to make you feel bad and it worked, didn't it? Why even try and be nice to this guy? He IS NOT a friend. And he is not nice either.

And honestly, don't let him kiss you. I mean HOW are you going to explain THAT to your BF? How would you feel if your BF's ex went around and kissed HIM on the lips?

Think girl.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (10 December 2012):

N91 agony auntIf you have a bf, why would you care what your ex thinks about you? Considering that he sounds like a w*nker from this experience?

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (10 December 2012):

YouWish agony auntSorry if you still like him, but WHAT AN IDIOT!

You forgot to give him change back? This is his "reunion" conversation to you? You "look stocky"? This is his way of sweet talking you? He mentions being interested in a married woman? What was his point?

He's still interested in you, but he's being an idiot about it by trying to get you all worked up and knocked emotionally off of your feet.

But all of this is a moot point. You have a boyfriend. Your ex is irrelevant. You shouldn't talk to him if you're with someone else, especially if you still have feelings for your ex, and kissing you on the lips knowing that you have a boyfriend? What a douchebag.

Don't worry about what he thinks of you. It's a good thing that he's your ex. Throw him into the past where he belongs. What a little prick.

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A female reader, oldbag United Kingdom +, writes (10 December 2012):

oldbag agony auntHi

He sounds horrible, you should be happy he is your Ex.I would be.

While you have emotions for him still you will overthink everything he says, so just avoid him till your over him.

You'll meet someone eventually who thinks your perfect and THAT is how it should be.

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