A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi. What does it mean when that my wife has cheated me with a gay guy, and prefers gay friends? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (13 July 2016):
 Sexuality is not always quite as simplistic as everyone is making it out to be. Most of my gay male friends actually do, very seldomly mind you, sleep with women. Far from regularly and they don't prefer it. Nonetheless, they have done it and still identify as gay. Same with some of my gay female friends.
Either way, she cheated. Unacceptable, no matter if he's gay or not. And some women just enjoy having gay friends. Or maybe she does it as a challenge to get them to sleep with her. As I said, I wouldn't over-think it. She cheated. End of story.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 July 2016):
 His sexuality should not matter in this case. Your wife was unfaithful to you, maybe she is attracted to a certain type of man, or maybe she sees gay men as a challenge. Who knows? Either way she has cheated on you therefore you need to work out now what you want to do.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2016): I have heard of gay men having sex with women just to see what it was like.
The only reason I can think that you would care who she prefers for friends is if you like to have mutual friends with your wife and you don't like gay people... Is that your 2nd issue?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2016): While gay men sometimes have sex with women, it's not the norm. Can you tell us what she did to cheat? If it was anything sexual then definitely move on. If it's more hugging/texting/close friendship then with a gay man I wouldn't class that as cheating as he's not interested in women. Please clarify.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (11 July 2016):
 Gay means attracted to the same gende. It doesn't mean they can't have sex with women anyway. However, why does his sexuality change that she cheated? It doesn't.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 July 2016):
 Strange question.
If your wife cheated on you with a gay man, well, he was not that gay after all ! Must have been bisexual.
Then, what difference does it make if she cheated on you with a straight guy , a gay guy, or a walrus ?..
She still cheated. So, that she cheated on you with a gay guy, simply means that she is a cheater.
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A
male
reader, Myau  +, writes (11 July 2016):
 According to my sister (who admitted she was a hag) gay men get drunk and do try to have sex with women.
So it can happen.
She likes gay men because they are fun for her to be around.
The real issue here is: What do you want to do now?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2016): She cheated period. How do you know he's totally gay? Does his not being gay make the cheating more acceptable? How did they cheat, did they have sex? Do you know for certain they had sex, or were you just told they cheated?
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (10 July 2016):
 Don't remember gay people having sex with women. Sounds like an excuse
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 July 2016):
 As I see it she cheated on you. End of story.
If she used the "he is gay" as an excuse... well, then OBVIOUSLY the gay wasn't gay, more likely bi-sexual (unless he was trying to hide his sexuality from public knowledge or trying to fit in, still it's RARE that a gay man has sex with women, it happens though)
However, HIS sexuality has nothing to do with it. SHE cheated on you, now what do you want to do next? Forgive her? Divorce her? What?
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A
female
reader, jls022 +, writes (10 July 2016):
In what way did she cheat you? If the man in question is gay then he wouldn't do anything sexual with a woman so I'm not too sure what you mean?
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (10 July 2016):
 It means you don't know what a gay guy is. Because a gay guy wouldn't be having anything sexual to do with your wife. So, either they didn't cheat, or he's not gay.
Anyway, if she cheated, it just means she's a cheater. Doesn't really matter who she cheated with, it doesn't change the character of what she did.
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