A
male
age
30-35,
*m0567
writes:I met this girl at work. Started talking to her I never thought we would like each other I was just making friends... in a short period of time (around 5 6 weeks) I ended up liking her. Alot. I never mentioned to or tried to it just happened. We have talked every single day. I have told her how I feel about her I'm always honest. She has said she happy staying single. She has said she likes me. She would be with me. Wants me be her bf. If she 'had' to pick anyone it would be me. But she has said the way I feel about her has happened to fast she wants to be friends and see what happens she say we are best friends... recently she has said she don't know what she wants and after telling me the things she did about liking me wanting me etc.... its got me really confused and I don't know how to take it... I feel we are very close we get on effortlessly she always smiling around me but there is another guy who she says she would never like at work.. but seems to be playful with him. She is playful with me and she touches me all the time... I feel she do like me I trust what she says is the truth she a honest person... I just don't know what to do or think anymore because I see it as if 2 people like each other want each other what is there to wait for.... I need advice real bad because I honestly feel this girl is perfect for me and people have said we would be good for each other to us as well. What do I do?
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male
reader, N91 +, writes (25 December 2014):
 Dude, I'm in the exact situation and in fact had a pretty in depth convo with the chick regarding it last night in fact.
Not going to be what you want to hear but you need to bin it off mate. It's not going anywhere or else she would be with you NOW. There's no I would pick you if I had to, I would go out with you, but I won't ACTUALLY go ahead with it.
It.hurts mate, it hurts a fucking lot. But the more you go along with it, the more it's going to hurt before you eventually decide to break it off.
The best advice imo is to just go cold turkey and stop speaking to her. If she asks what's happened calmly explain that it got too intense and you're trying to get rid of the feelings that you have for her.
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (24 December 2014):
It sounds like she’s a bit confused herself. Maybe she likes you, but for some reason she doesn’t feel able to take the plunge and give dating a try. Perhaps this is because of previous relationships, perhaps she’s fresh from a break up, perhaps she simply likes to give everything a great deal of thought before making a decision. The bottom line is that, at the moment, you’ve got friendship on the table, and that’s it, and you’ve no idea when, or if, that will change. Your choices are to deal with that, and accept it for what it is, either being willing to wait as long as it takes or really focussing on thinking about what you like about this girl to help you focus on looking for some-one else. The alternative is to tell her how difficult this uncertainty is for you and suggest you need to put some distance between you. Telling her about the impact of her ambiguous position on you is risky: she may be resentful or defensive, or she may spell out more clearly what the situation is. Maybe the distance will give her breathing space, away from you, to think things over and get things clear in her head.
The choice you make depends on being honest with yourself about how well you can deal with this grey area you’re in now. Whatever the case I’d really discourage you from thinking too much about what being together will be like because I firmly believe that, whilst the signs are that a relationship isn’t going to be on the cards, there’s no point torturing yourself about how a different set of cards would look. Weigh up your options, talk it over with friends and family, and plan your next move. If friendship can never be enough for you, distance may be a painful necessity. That’s something that you’ll figure out if you give yourself space and time to think.
I wish you all the very best and a happy Christmas.
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