A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating my boyfriend for about a week now. Before that, he chased me for a year and I never gave in because I thought he was a jerk and needed to try harder. One day we had a falling out where we didn't talk for a few days, and when he met back up we were able to resolve a lot of issues. This, along with how well things went afterwards, made me more open to the idea of dating. He went on vacation and knew that I was going to ask him out after he came back. But as soon as he came back and I asked him out a few days later, it was obvious that something had changed--he was less attentive, romantic, and caring. It seemed like he did things because that was what he had to do. After a few back and forths, he told me that the thrill of the chase was gone for him. He said he didn't want our relationship to be based on that and he wanted to make it work. But is that even possible at this point?I also feel like he is starting to have feelings for someone else (or at least toy around with that idea) to have some sort of thrill that he can't have anymore because he "caught" me. He obviously won't admit to this, and I don't think he would do anything, but it still bothers me that he would do that. What can I do? Is a relationship that was based on "the chase" even salvageable? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, singinbluebird +, writes (9 June 2016):
 He dated you for one week after a year of chasing you! My goodness. Look, he chased you for an entire year! Yes hes into the chase but also maybe in that entire year hes been also getting tired, looking elsewhere, was open to other women while his sight was on you. Maybe when he got you, he was already open to another woman too. And when he got you, he realized he was already tired of you. Tired of the chase, of thinking of you and possibly because he got you, he maybe realized he didnt like you all that much. I think hes into the chase but maybe hes been chasing too long and lost interest as swiftly as he did. It hurts but we do love being the prize. But men also like to be chased..just a teeny bit too (how can he even grow to miss someone who gave nothing back?). Good luck
A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (9 June 2016):
 I don't think that this relationship can be saved. It's best that you get out now before investing your time, energy and feelings I'm something that was doomed from the get go. Perhaps it's time to have a talk with him and let him know that it's best if the two of you end the relationship.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (8 June 2016):
 Sounds like this is your change to dodge a bullet, take it.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 June 2016):
 It's been a week and the "thrill" is already gone?
I would just tell him that you don't think it will work and then walk away.
A relationship and courting shouldn't be THIS hard 1 (ONE) week into it.
What really is there to build on or work on? Not a thing. Go with your first impression of him (that you thought he was a jerk) and stop wasting your time.
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