A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello. So my boyfriend and I have a complicated on and off relationship. We have been together for four years. I invited him to my birthday party thinking that my dad still doesn't like him (my dad never said a word about liking him until last night) and seeing that my dad was drunk, it stressed me out. I kicked the guy out of the house because I couldn't believe what was happening. I felt that I needed closure. If he was right for me, why was my dad so against him before?! I just turned 20 and the guy is 23. My dad had mixed feelings about him and I either went through with his wishes or went against it because I was in love with the guy. Now I feel nothing because of what happened. Our on and off relationship threw me off and I was just sick of pretending like everything was okay. We haven't officially broken up yet but at this point, I just don't want to speak with him or anyone else. What should I do? My dad is angry at me at the moment but he shouldn't be prying into my relationship.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 July 2016):
 I am not sure that I understood what happened . Your dad gets drunk at your birthday party - and you kick your on and off bf out ?? why ? As if it were his fault that your dad got drunk !
Anyway- leave dad out of this , it's not relevant. I don't see why you are so surprised by your dad's change of heart. Maybe first he did not like the guy and then he changed his mind, in time. Maybe , as you say yourself, and as it often happens, he has mixed feelings, some times he likes him some others he does not. Maybe even if he is not crazy about the guy he thinks that you were too impulsive, or is afraid that a break up will leave you sad and moping . Maybe he was DRUNK and , like drunks would do ,said the first thing that came to his mind !
There may be various explanations, but you do not have necessarily to take them into account. You are the one dating this guy , not your dad.
What suggests me to tell you " stay broken ! " is the on and off thing. On and off 99% of times just means : you are wasting your time with someone incompatible, and it's going to end in tears. On and off is the kiss of death for a relationship, even the most passionate and intriguing. Why? because it may be passionate, exciting, etc. all you want, but it's not a GOOD, healthy relationship. If it were that, it would not be on and off. It would have stayed on.
And why do you want to stay in a " complicated " relationship ? Life is complicated enough without having to add " complicated " love stories.
Your dad will have his own reasons to approve or disapprove of your decisisons- but ultimately the choice is yours and you have to do what's good for you , not for your dad. In this case, it sounds like staying broken up it's what's good for you.
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (11 July 2016):
 You're going out with this dude, your father isn't.
Do whatever YOU need to do. Nobody else's feelings come into this decision besides your own.
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A
female
reader, Deeksha  +, writes (11 July 2016):
 First of all relax! May be your dad has finally understood that you love him and he doesn't want you to go through the mood swings which you would be going through because of that on and off relationship you were into. May be your dad doesn't want you to miserable and get into a stable relationship.
And I understand that you are in no mood of talking to your guy. But after all he is the one you love. There is a reason why he is in your life. Out of all the people on earth why only him? Think about the lovely times you have spent with him and I am sure that will calm you down. Go talk to him. Apologize if think it is required I am sure he would also something to apologize. Fix your relationship and then come back to your dad. Being the happy girl he always wanted to see and then may you just spend some time with your dad. Recalling old memories and all.
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