New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login245057 questions, 1084625 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

Is my instructor good enough?

Tagged as: Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 June 2016) 5 Answers - (Newest, 9 June 2016)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I don't know if this is allowed to be discussed on this website but I just wanted other people's opinions. I have had driving lessons for 8 months now, done around 30 hours of driving with my instructor as well as around 30 hours in my own car which adds up to about 60 hours. However my driving instructor has started acting in an un professional manner, she cancels lessons a lot, is always late, has hardly taught me much such as my reversing around the corners and Paraell parking. I have had to teach myself my bay parking and 3 point turns as she hasn't bothered. She's way too cautious on the roads when there is no need to be, such as she makes me hesitate on roundabouts even though it's clear and I can go. If I make small mistakes she grabs at the steering wheel and raises her voice which makes me feel nervous. I don't know if she should be doing that? She said I'm ready for my practical which has now been booked ready in 2 weeks time but since I have booked the practical she has been in professional, answering calls while on my lesson which I think is very rude. She keeps telling me when to signal or how to take turnings when she doesn't even need to be telling me as I can do it all without instruction and know how to do independent driving. If she feels the need to keep giving me instructions then why did she put me forward for my test? I drive perfectly in my car with my family who are experienced and good drivers, even they say they can't fault me with my driving and I'm a very confident and safe driver. But as soon as I get in the car with my instructor she always has something negative to say and makes me lose my confidence. Obviously I take all criticism on board and appticiate and listen to her advice when I am making a mistake as I know it's her job to tell me, but sometimes I know I'm driving perfectly with no faults but she still complains about something when I know it wasn't even a mistake. I don't know how I have stuck with her for 8 months. My test is in two weeks and I want to change my instructor but I'm afraid to start at the bottom again as I have tried so hard to get this far. Should I carry on with the instructor or change instructor after my test. If I pass my test then I won't need another instructor but I'm starting to get very nervous and starting to lose belief in myself which might make me fail my test. Opinions

View related questions: confidence

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (9 June 2016):

N91 agony auntIf you get a new instructor you won't start from the bottom. Let them know you've had lessons before and you'll be able to demonstrate what level you're up to and advance from there.

Best of luck with the test

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2016):

Im from the uk and it is hard to get a licence here. I took my test multiple times. I failed on petty little things. Now ive passed ive driven all over the country doing deliveries. Ive never had an accident,written off a car etc in 10plus years. If I want to drive a lorry or trailer i need to pay more money and do more tests. People who were born earlier than me have it all on there for free.I think the test system is stupid and alot about rinsing money out of people.

My point is for some people it can be a long and expensive process so do not stay with an instructor that yells at you and doesn't help your confidence. The first instructor I had did nothing but yell at me he was awful, I changed to another bloke who was much more laid back and I passed with him in the end.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2016):

Seek another instructor. She seems to shake your confidence, shows up late, and raising her voice is definitely unprofessional.

The point is to build your confidence, not to upset you while you're at the wheel. Naturally you'll feel nervous and uncomfortable at the wheel, if the person next to you is freaking-out. Explain your experience to the person in charge. Perhaps you need a more experienced and patient instructor.

However; I have to agree with Honeypie. You have taken much longer than usual to learn, and that would make any instructor lose patience. After a certain amount of time, you should show some progress. If you're not, you can't blame that entirely on the instructor.

One thing for sure, an instrustor should be professional enough to show up on time, and control their reactions when you're at the wheel.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (6 June 2016):

Tisha-1 agony aunt I've had the opportunity to drive in both the US and the UK, I had a very kind male instructor in the UK who taught me the rules of the road in the UK.

Something the US Aunts will not understand is how difficult it is to get a drivers license in the UK. The rules and regulations are more difficult and passing the test on the first time is not a given.

That all being said, it is clear that you and your instructor do not mesh well, you do not trust her, you cannot take instruction from her, and continuing to use her as an instructor is probably not a good idea. Again having had drivers training in the UK, I understand that having your instructor at your test along is common and in fact expected, however in your situation I feel it would be detrimental to your passing the test. I would revisit with your driving school about your needs and your situation and your lack of faith in your instructor.

My instructor also scared me about passing the test, and despite my having driven for 27 years before I took the exam in the UK, he informed me how easy it was for the examiner to fail a driver.

Again in my situation, which is different than yours, I was able to use my own vehicle, I had the rearview mirror that was needed and I also had the knowledge that because I wouldn't international driver that I would be able to drive home. Have you considered trying to take the exam on your own?

One final thought for you, is that I found people in the UK to be very polite to the extent that they would not speak up for themselves. If you know that something isn't right, you do need to speak up and you do need to be brave about it. You've been taking good driving lesson for long enough to know how to drive the UK, you should by now know the rules of the road, and was going to happen in the practical exam, so perhaps it is time to take the exam. I wonder if the school that you decided to use makes its money through long term teacher student contracts. If I were you I would speak to people who have passed their drivers exams, ask them how they learned, and ask them about their experiences with the driving schools.

At the end of the day, I think the driving examiners just want to know if they are putting people on the road who are responsible and have actually learned the rules of the road. Good luck on your drivers exam! Chin up!!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (6 June 2016):

Honeypie agony auntI don't know how driving education is done in the UK (I'm familiar with the Danish way and American), but I will say this much, 8 months of taking driving lessons is a LONG LONG time.

Does your driving instructor belong to a company? If so, I'd call the main office and explain that you WISH to switch driving instructor without losing the 8 months worth of experience. I would do it AFTER the test.

If she doesn't help you feel confident as a driver and you don't feel she is teaching you anything, then OF COURSE you should switch.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "Is my instructor good enough?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0781286999990698!