A
male
age
30-35,
*heNewGuy101
writes:Hello everyone,I'm looking for some advice. I am a male who was abused both psychologically and physically. I am no longer in that relationship but I have been on my own for many years now. I do have difficulty in letting other people in but I believe I have come a long way from where I use to be. Anyway, I started to see a girl who I thought was quite nice. It's only be a short time. Just over a month. I explained my situation to her and that I wanted to take things slowly. Last weekend just there we were on the phone and she asked me to come over. I had already told her that I had stuff on that evening. But she just went crazy at me. Really lost her temper. For me this set off red flags and alarm bells. I let her cool off for a couple of days and explained to her that she wasn't very pleasant. She apologised and said it wouldn't happen again. Then yesterday she absolutely went crazy again. Cursing and swearing. And kicking furniture. I panicked and left very quickly. I told her that I couldn't see her again as I didn't think it was a good idea. I was in no way rude or horrible to her. But now I'm getting constant phone calls and messages. Even from some of her friends. This is a bit much I think. But I'm being told I'm being a drama queen and that I should give her another chance. I'm starting to wonder is it me that's making women act like this? Am I doing something wrong? Should I give this girl another chance? Any advice would be gratefully appreciated. Thank you Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (8 July 2016):
 You where upfront and honest with her, you gave her a second chance and she blew it, so yes now it is time to walk away. It is not your fault she behaved like this, it is not something that you done. She is the one with anger issues not you. At least you can recognize the signs are remove yourself from that situation. Remember not all women are bad, maybe you are attracting the wrong ones, maybe try another type of girl you wouldn't usually go for and see how it goes.
A
male
reader, TheNewGuy101 +, writes (8 July 2016):
TheNewGuy101 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all the advice everyone. It's really sore coated. You've all reassured me that I have done the right thing by cutting off all contact. I hope everyone has a great weekend.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (8 July 2016):
Given her another chance to do what? Make you feel worst about yourself?
Do not thing this kind of thing is over. Life will keep sending you people like this in general...just to test you. To see if you have learned to stay away from such people, or...give them another chance to bring you down even further.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2016): She's got a temper and she's over-demanding. You did the right thing.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (8 July 2016):
 You can't make anyone act a certain way. I believe it has to do with your background. Attraction is a mystery. We pick people who resonate with us. If we were mistreated by our parents, then subconsciously, we think that abuse is familiar, it feels like home. Then we would be drawn to those who would repeat the drama similar from back home.
Women who grew up with absent fathers might be drawn to cold uncaring, non committal men.
You can not change your past. If you follow your instinct of what your right match would be, you might make a mistake. I do think it's important on where you meet those women. It's good to build a friendship first, then see if you are compatible. You might feel that if you get with a girl with a similar background then there will be mutual understanding and support. People should not quickly write off others who did not have the perfect childhood but the key is to find someone who has matured and has moved forward in life. Someone who turns madness into strength and also wants to inspire others on how to tap into that strength.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (7 July 2016):
 Nope, you don't OWE her a second chance.
Simply BLOCK her number and those of her friends who have tried to coerce you into giving her another chance.
It's ONLY been a month and she acts like this? DEFINITELY a red flag. And it's DEFINITELY enough for ANYONE to back away.
It's not YOU you "make" a person act like that or treat you like that. BUT it might BE that you are attracted to a type of woman who is NOT a good match.
This one sounds like she has some issue, not sure which but it's not normal to throw fits like that unless she is 4 years old.
Where did you met her?
And taking your time getting to know someone is a good thing. Go slow. And maybe... in the future wait with divulging your past so fast. Wait to see if the person is WORTHY of your trust.
You did the right thing.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (7 July 2016):
Nope. She was out of line. She would only have continued being abusive to you had you not ended it
You've suffered enough, friend. Don't allow anyone to abuse you ever again. You did the right thing.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (7 July 2016):
 Sorry to hear your previous relationships have left you in this position mate.
I don't think it's your fault at all, probably just been unlucky with the females you've been speaking to. I think you did the right thing by being up front and telling her that you wanted to move slowly and also by how you broke things off.
Sounds the best option to leave this one well alone as she's already given you the warning signs.
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