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... Send *azyGuy a private message | | | *azyGuy's profile:I am 37 year old dutch male who used to think he was the mythical "nice guy" but realized that he really was just to lazy to be bad.
Worked a lot of different jobs, going where-ever the money happens to be and traveled a bit. |
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| Latest articles: Men can't read women
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 March 2008: Slashdot is a geek site focussing mostly on tech. Relationship advice is not something you will find there, but this story just has to be mentioned. http://entertainment.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=08/03/30/0028211 http://www.livescience.co...
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How can I stop my Husband beating me?
Q. How do I stop my husband from beating me all the time? ...
A. 30 April 2008: By not being there.
Nigeria? No idea if it has support for battered wives but in the west I would advice you to seek shelter and inform the police.
Get out of the house and out of the marriage if you can.
If you really can't your only h... (read in full...)
How can I get my husband to understand that I find anal sex painful?
Q. My husband likes anal sex but i find it painful. We have tried lube to no avail. How do i make him understand how i feel? ...
A. 30 April 2008: You got two questions going and in both the followups make a simple enough question explode with complications.
This one especially started simple but has ended in:
Husband, abused for years from a small kid till teens by both a brother AND a ... (read in full...)
Why are my boyfriend's friends so harsh on women needing to fit a certain prototype? I don't understand.
Q. I think I may have a problem with self-image. The thing is, of late, I've more been around more people who really take into account appearences before they get to know people. They are my boyfriend's friends and they are often discussing and deba...
A. 30 April 2008: It sounds like you got two parties at fault here.
Yes your boyfriends friends are shallow, hell they a business students, what do you expect?
You on the other hand seem to worry a bit to much about it all. Social science student, what do... (read in full...)
He seems to be no longer interested in sex and I am getting a strong impression that he feels that we are a bit past all that !
Q. Iam a 53 yr old woman and having relationship problems with my husband of 30 years and it is now to the point where i am having moments of serious anguish.He seems to be no longer interested in sex and I am getting a strong impression that he feels ...
A. 30 April 2008: Well fighting fit is a relative term. Lets face it men and women are totally mismatched with their sexual peaks.
A man nearing sixty is not going to be as eager as the guy you married three decades ago.
Try to spice up what remains of your ... (read in full...)
His abuse is getting worse, he's tried to strangle me 5 times!!!
Q. I've been with my husband for 3 years and I don't know what to do. I have a six year old boy who adores him and a one year old baby girl. The problem is he has become physically abusive. He has tried to strangle me five times but generally just ...
A. 30 April 2008: My dear, what do you want to hear? Abuse is a terrible thing and really screws up the victim, that is you. You love him. Right, what part. The bit where you start to black out from lack of oxygen or where he makes you miserable.
He is an abuser a... (read in full...)
People don't seem to like me, just because I don't drink alcohol! What should I do?
Q. I am 18 and don't drink alcohol (not even a little bit). People seem to not like me because I dont drink, well mostly guys anyway. When a guy learns that I dont drink, they either say something in a shocked voice like 'oh my god how can you ...
A. 30 April 2008: Some people are very susceptible to peer pressure. They GOT to do what everyone else does and everyone who doesn't do that is weird. They drink because their friends drink and expect their friends to drink as well.
About the only suggesti... (read in full...)
Is it ok to put a golf ball in your girlfriend's vagina? Just throwing that out there....
Q. is it ok to put a golf ball in you girlfriends vagina and the have sex with it still in there and when your done swollow it?...
A. 30 April 2008: Isn't the golf ball thing from a soft porn movie possible one of the Emanuelle movies?
But yeah, it seems a bit risky and there are specific sex-toys for this purpose that come with a cord.
As for the swallowing bit, as others said that is jus... (read in full...)
How long does it take a girl to climax through fingering?
Q. Hi, im quite young and still a virgin. I recently got a new girlfriend which i love very much but she is very shy and has not done much with any other boy except me. She is quite shy, and i have dry fingered her (over her pants), but she doesnt f...
A. 30 April 2008: Don't rush the poor girl, it ain't a race.
Remember that women are not men, they need more and more varied stimulation then just being jerked off.
Play with her body, all of it and take your time. There is no battle plan, no fixed set of mov... (read in full...)
True love...what does it mean?
Q. what are some definitions of true love or just love in general because i know i love my boyfriend at least i think i do i need the opinions of the aunts and uncles because i want to compare some other definitions of true love from family members! ...
A. 30 April 2008: True love goes beyond lust or liking or being hot for them.
You do not cheat on true love because no part of you wants to hurt the other person. Not for fear of ending the relationship, you just don't want to cause them pain.
In a way true... (read in full...)
How can I get my husband to understand that I find anal sex painful?
Q. My husband likes anal sex but i find it painful. We have tried lube to no avail. How do i make him understand how i feel? ...
A. 30 April 2008: Wait a second, he had an affair and to make up for this he now wants the same, for you painful, type of sex as he had with her?
Cute.
The male answer is simple, if it hurts, don't do it. Trust me, if males had hymens we would die virgins and ... (read in full...)
Does oral sex need precautions?
Q. hi people,can you plz guide me on how to go about oral sex?i mean should one take precautions during oral sex anf if any then what are they?hoping to get some valuable answers. thanks...
A. 30 April 2008: Susan Strict is wrong in thinking oral sex is safer. It isn't not least because your mouth is far more likely to have small wounds (to small to see and you never notice them) in your mouth. It after all sees far more abuse then your vagina unless ... (read in full...)
My brother abused me, now I've pressed charges and it's tearing me and my family apart. Please help me deal with this misery!
Q. ok i really need some help here, so i need as many opinions as possable, whatever your veiw. ok, i was sexually, physically and mentally abused by my brother when i was about 9 years old and he was 15. my parents worked all the hours they could for ...
A. 30 April 2008: Right now in the media there is the story of that women who was kidnapped and held prisoner by her father for 24 years. How did this happen, well people like Solver and those who answer with similar answers are the reason.
You really think no... (read in full...)
Why do we girls go for the bad boys?
Q. this is just a curious question here. Why do most girls fall for the "bad boy" lol so far i have liked 3 guys and two of them are bad. I wont get into it because i hate when folks judge, but anyways most girls who i know and are friends with much ...
A. 30 April 2008: A bit of harsh news women might not like. Most women do NOT go for bad guys. Don't make the mistake of thinking sites like this reflect society. Only people with problems come to problem sites, go on chat shows etc etc.
Oprah never had an episo... (read in full...)
How can I get my husband to understand that I find anal sex painful?
Q. My husband likes anal sex but i find it painful. We have tried lube to no avail. How do i make him understand how i feel? ...
A. 30 April 2008: Feeling is believing. Ever heard of a strapon?
... (read in full...)
Would you still want her if the sex stopped completely?
Q. Ok we are talk about how we are suppose to love the person who we are with for who they are and it is not all about sex? But now guys, if your girlfriend told you she did not want to sleep with you for a while how many months would you give h...
A. 29 April 2008: Depends why, a though pregnancy, injury, disease etc etc are all valid reasons, no real time limit of course.
If you just don't want it for no reason, well then that would be pretty hurtful, just ask the many women who post questions about wh... (read in full...)
Why do people think first night sex is cheap and the girl lacks self respect?
Q. Ok guys why do ppl think it is cheap and the girl lacks self respect if they have sex on the first night? I mean after going out on a date and lots of talking? What is the difference between waiting for the second date as some ppl think it is more ...
A. 29 April 2008: Wether it is cheap or not is for you to decide, your life, your choices.
But the difference between a first and a second date should be obvious. A first date is often seen as the first time two people are out as a potential couple. PART of the w... (read in full...)
Why do guys dump a girl after a one night stand? Bad sex, lack of respect...?
Q. Come on guys. Why do guys really dump a girl after a one night stand? Was it because the sex was bad, average? Or because you didn't respect her? If it was amazing and mind blowing and made you cum would you come back for more? Now be ...
A. 28 April 2008: You can't be dumped after a one night stand because there is nothing to be dumped from. By its very nature a one night stand is a one-shot deal.
Perhaps you mean why do men end a 'friend/courtship' once sex has happened?
Or why do men not c... (read in full...)
I deleted his porn and now he wants a divorce!
Q. Our sex life is not normal, he watches porn (as he says rarely and not an addict). He has a huge porn collection of DVDs, webcam recordings, photos, downloaded porn. He went on a trip with his college friends and I found a receipt that he renewed ...
A. 27 April 2008: You been married for two years?
Even if it is a bit short, getting divorced over this seems a bit extreme.
You keep saying the ain't normal but what is abnormal about it or is it just that he doesn't want it often enough?
Your problem do... (read in full...)
I got drunk and cheated on my long distance partner
Q. I've made a huge mistake. I'm in a long distance relationship, haven't seen my bf for a few months now though we talk on the phone quite a lot. Last night I got very drunk and had a one night stand with some guy I met in a club. I didn't actually ...
A. 27 April 2008: Susan seems to give good advice except for one tiny problem, if for some reason he ever does find out, you will not just have cheated on him, you will have lied to him.
That is far worse. You did a stupid thing and by lying about it you might ge... (read in full...)
I have cheated on my husband...and let down my best friend...by sleeping with guy she likes...
Q. Ok, I will try to make this short, however it is not easy story is quite difficult to descibe in short sentences:) All started when I have first time cheated on my with my colleague. It almost came out, but somewhow I managed to glaze it out and...
A. 27 April 2008: I get the feeling you married way to young and just ain't mature enough yet for a long term relationship.
You don't seem to care the slightest for anyone else feelings, not your husband, not your friend, not this first lover and not the second o... (read in full...)
What does my dream about my dead friend mean
Q. my friend killed himself, a few weeks ago, but last night i had a dream that he was telling me he was alive we were walking to my fathers house he explained that had to pretend he was dead because of things happening in his life, he was also being ...
A. 27 April 2008: As said, it just a 'fantasy' of him still being alive because that is what you really want. It is your brain coping with the conflict between what you want and what you know to be true.
Don't worry about it, it is all part of grieving and it t... (read in full...)
Is it possible to have great sex without falling in love?
Q. is it possible to have greatsex without falling in love im seeing a divorsed 47 male im 40 single mum im enjoying the sex he dosnt want me to get attached doi continue with this arrangment....
A. 27 April 2008: Sure why not? Wether you can do it, well that is a question only you can answer, but men at least can do it easily. In fact for most of us meaningless no strings attached sex is a life long ambition ;)... (read in full...)
I am succesful and enjoy the company of men but can't find any that don't want to take advantage of me!
Q. i am a twenty seven year old female, i consider myself good looking and slim. i am college educated and i have my own business but....i never have had a boyfriend....EVER!! i enjoy the company of men dont get me wrong but i just can't find a guy ...
A. 27 April 2008: Consider your blessings. Would you rather have had boyfriends but been used by every single one of them as some of the other women who ask questions? You seem to be doing fine as a single woman. Take pride in that.
What exactly do you mean by ... (read in full...)
I think he's asexual! How can I try and suss whether he might think of me in that way...?
Q. Hey, I've fallen for my best friend. But he's the most A-sexual person in the world, he's never had a girlfriend and never even hints at anything along those lines. Not to anyone. The only time he's ever mentioned anything of the sort is once ...
A. 27 April 2008: It surely can be the case that he has no sexual inclinations whatsoever. We all got different sex-drives and just as some people are totally controlled by it, some just don't have any. Try being on chemo, see what it does to your sex-drive.
He mi... (read in full...)
Should I become a meaner person... or louder and outspoken just to be loved??
Q. So i am the sweetest person anyone can meet..evryone who i have ever encountered tells me that i am nice and i am really kindhearted. I am willing to be devoted to someone, care about them and be faithful...so i dnt understand why guys wont make me ...
A. 27 April 2008: Sure you could chance your own nature to suit a guy, if you are a really good actress and want to do that for the rest of your life.
It might be easier to ask yourselve if you are not attracted to the wrong kind of guy. Somehow I get the impressi... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 2 years makes me feel... insignificant. What should I do?
Q. Ok I've been with my boyfriend for about 2 years now. Lately theres been a few things that have really gotten me upset. 1. This morning (I stayed over at his the night before) we both woke up to his phone ringing, it was his friend. When he ...
A. 26 April 2008: Lets see, he didn't even have time to drop you of at the bus station?
He expects you to sleep on the floor, oh sorry he keeps an old matras around, after you have sex with him because he might not be able to fall asleep with you in his bed?
... (read in full...)
Is this statement meant to protect my feelings (about not having enjoyed the one night stand)?
Q. My partner had a one night stand recently. I ma not very happy as you can imagine. one comfort though is she claims she did not enjoy it at all and did not have an orgasm with the man she slept with. I find this difficult to believe - is it ...
A. 26 April 2008: Doesn't that make it even worse, why bother cheating if it don't even feel good?
At least make sure it is worth it when you cheat, if not for good sex why did she do it?... (read in full...)
I have no shortage of men willing to take me out. But the ONE guy that I really want won't give me the time of day!
Q. So there's a guy that I CANNOT stop thinking about. I'm an attractive, popular girl, and I have no shortage of men willing to take me out. But the ONE guy that I really want won't give me the time of day, and it's driving me MAD! We've worked t...
A. 26 April 2008: Well he did give you the time of day, you said no, he got the message and that seems to be all that is going on.
How are you so sure he ain't intrested anymore? Because he is no longer trying, well contrary to popular opinion men are capable ... (read in full...)
If you had a bf/gf who was shy around your friends (but not you) would you be annoyed/upset?
Q. My question is if you had a bf/gf who was shy around your friends (but not you) would you be annoyed/upset? And would you go as far as dumping them because your friends didnt approve of your gf/bf due to their shyness? Ive only had two bfs and ...
A. 26 April 2008: Well your feelings are right, they were assholes.
It seems you are dating the wrong kind of person.
For some people the opinion of their peers is all that matters, they are not intrested in you as a person but in how you make them look to the... (read in full...)
I feel like having a threesome would be my boyfriend's excuse to cheat! Is it?
Q. hi all i have a question that is bugging the crap out of me! ok my boyfriend really wants a three way but i dont because i dont want all of his attention to be directed to someone else is that to selfish because ive had a three way but the last one ...
A. 26 April 2008: Well you already done it once and know how it can work out. Why risk it again?
But isn't your real problem that you are insecure? That seems a far more serious issue especially as it seems to make you go for guys like this.
The whole "ug... (read in full...)
Ii had cancer...is there a link as to why I cant get pregnant?
Q. Hi all, i have a question. Ok now, my medical history is messed up, when i was 7 i had cancer(leukemia) and the doctors told me that there is a possibility i couldn't get pregnant. Now i'm a little freaked out that i wont be able to get preg...
A. 26 April 2008: The treatment you might have received (my info on this is several decades old) could make you infertile. How bad it has been in your case I can't say, hopefully medical science has improved over the years.
The worsed case is that you simply c... (read in full...)
Is his porn wathching affecting our sex life?
Q. Our sex life is not normal. I initiate sex 100% of the time, and he does it when he knows it's about time or I will be crying from the lack of sex. He does not cum unless he is back from a business trip. If it was up to him we'd probably have sex ...
A. 26 April 2008: It sounds like you got a couple of problems going on at once.
He does not have an orgasm with you unless he has been away for several days? This is odd for a number of reasons.
If he masturbates too much he might well not be able to come any... (read in full...)
Why is it guys are more attracted to me when I'm not all dressed up?
Q. I've noticed that when I try to look and dress cute, guys won't pay attention to me. But when I'm dressed down and not really lookin to meet anyone, guys will flirt with me. Like yesterday, a college student my age was trying to give ppl free quot...
A. 26 April 2008: Might you behave differently when you are dressed down? Not just look more down to earth but behave like it?
Also lots of men like the "natural" look a lot more.
Is this a bad thing? Basically it means you can attract more men with less work.... (read in full...)
I was molested when I was younger, and now I cannot bring myself to be comfortable with sex.
Q. Hi I am a 21 year old gal...I met this guy when i was in college (first year)..we became great friends. Later he became my best buddy, and somewhere at the back of our minds both of us knew that we wanted something more from our relationship, so ...
A. 25 April 2008: There are two problems going on here.
First the "simplest", you friend wants sex and will say practically anything to get it. He might well be a good friend but as you describe him I know EXACTLY what he is thinking. You are NOT the girl he wants... (read in full...)
I shouldn't want to be with someone that thinks I would do such a terrible, disgusting thing! But...I feel empty without him!
Q. My boyfriend of 5 months just broke up with me four days ago because he thought I was cheating on him. I was not. I tried everything I could think of to prove to him that I wasn’t cheating on him and never have. He knows that I love him and I ...
A. 24 April 2008: He sounds paranoid, why?
He has been cheated on before OR is he a cheater himself and can't believe anyone else might not be?
You can't prove something that didn't happen. If you had cheated there would be evidence but there is none of you not ... (read in full...)
Masturbation came up in one of our conversations, and he -FLIPPED OUT??
Q. this is basically a question for the men, although ladys your advice is Greatly appreciated as well. So ive had sexual relationships, with my current partner. Everything is going great, problem is that i dont get to see him to often because ...
A. 24 April 2008: You damaged the fragile male ego. How could you possibly need anything else but the mighty male penis to satisfy all your sexual needs!
I think it is pretty safe to bet he doesn't see anything wrong with masturbating himself (and watching porn) an... (read in full...)
Bisexual Husband? Curious gay? Fantasy humiliation? Love or abuse?
Q. hello, Im in a relatiomship with a really sexy loving kind man who is a father of our 8 month old daughter. i love him but don't know what to feel about his gay fantasies. he says they are always through me. He gets turned on by feeling humiliation ...
A. 24 April 2008: Being gay is pathetic?
Not sure most gay or bi-sexual men would agree with that.
What is his true fantasy, to be with another man sexually OR to be humiliated/submissive?
To be rather crude, does he want sex with a man OR does he want to b... (read in full...)
Should I enjoy being a prostitute this much? I need money for school.
Q. I wanted to make some money for school and decided to work as a prostitute as it is a quick way to make really good money. My question is this: I am enjoying this a lot, but on TV you are always seeing hookers who hate what they do and hate the men ...
A. 21 April 2008: If a man mananged to get loads of sex and be payed for it, he would be a stud, a man among men, a hero. You are a whore. Go figure.
You enjoy sex and have no trouble doing it with total strangers. Not that unusual, except that your one night st... (read in full...)
Caught wearing my clothes and now due in court, what will happen to him?
Q. my partner dressed up in my clothes one night and went outside for a cigarette. he has since been done with public indecency with intent of fear and alarm. this was simply not true. and is due in court in a couple of months. he went out a bit ...
A. 21 April 2008: Seems a bit odd, the UK is a bit more backwards then mainland europe but it ain't the US. Exactly what was he wearing and doing to get a cop on his case AND to get charged?
The police on the whole is pretty tolerant of odd behaviour, they seen it ... (read in full...)
Question for the BOYS and MEN on this site about strip clubs!
Q. Hey Question for the BOYS and MEN on this site... ladies are welcome to write their comments as well.... After a boys night out in a Strip club .. coming home to your wife,fiance or girlfriend ... wanting to have sex with her at that moment...
A. 21 April 2008: Both, probably best not to speculate too much on how much of either.
There is a reason our thoughts are private. Do you REALLY want your partner to know exactly what you were thinking everytime you are close to them?
... (read in full...)
Our relationship was going so well, then I got an email from a girl, and his behaviour has reverted to the bad old days...
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for exactly two years. We split up for a month last summer, as things had got extremely difficult. After some persuasion, a lot of love, and a great deal of thought, i decided to get back with him. Only to find myself ...
A. 16 April 2008: This may simply be the person he really is and he is no longer willing to pretend for sake of the relationship.
It might even be that he thinks he doesn't need to bother anymore because you took his word for him not cheating, making him think he... (read in full...)
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