A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Our sex life is not normal. I initiate sex 100% of the time, and he does it when he knows it's about time or I will be crying from the lack of sex. He does not cum unless he is back from a business trip. If it was up to him we'd probably have sex once a month. We are less than a year married. I looked at his credit card statement for March. He said he discontinued his DVD Empire account 3 months ago, yet it says he ordered a porn dvd in March. He also likes talking to attractive single women on webcam on Paltalk behind my back. I asked him to delete Paltalk. I think he did not use it for a few months. In March, he paid for another year of unlimited Paltalk. He swears he does not have porn addiction. I know he masturbates. Although, I asked him since he cannot cum in bed with me he should stop doing it on his own and try it with me in bed. I also suggested watching porn together. He said that that would not be a turn on. So he quietly orders porn dvds, watches them when I am asleep and turns them in so I never learn the truth. Also, I suggested webcam when he was away, he did not like the idea. Can anybody please explain what's going on? And what should I do?Thank you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008): Wow- I would be hurt by this.. but the truth is- as the fellow already said- it's HIS problem and not anything you did wrong. He has sex issues. Was he catholic? Just wondering. What I would do is try and initiate a serious talk about how he feels about sex and whether he is unhappy with your sex life. Get a feel for where he is at. Then leave it alone for a while. Some guys do things just cause their told not too and it makes it more fun for them. Don't ask him for sex, don't initiate sex, don't pay any mind to his porn watching. See if he comes to the ralization on is own that what he's doing is EMPTY and unsatisfying without you telling him. Plus- you can see how long he will go without touching you. This will make things clearer for you.... GL
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (26 April 2008):
 It sounds like you got a couple of problems going on at once.
He does not have an orgasm with you unless he has been away for several days? This is odd for a number of reasons.
If he masturbates too much he might well not be able to come anymore with you, men can only do so much BUT you would think a business trip would be the perfect time to masturbate.
He might also masturbate so roughly that the stimulation of your vagina etc ain't enough anymore, although you should really be able to do a handjob on him if this was the case.
Can it be that he doesn't masturbate on a business trip? Why not, ashamed the hotel staff might notice? Speculating wildly here but maybe he is ashamed of sex? Does he come from a strict background where sex is considered dirty?
You really don't give enough info to determine why he can't orgasm with you except after a trip but I think it is problem that needs sorting on its own.
Then there is the porn, I myself like porn but am rather amazed that for some men it seems to replace a real woman. Watchin it together no a turn-on? In what universe? Again, it leads me to think that deep down he is ashamed of it. Same with the masturbation, I take it that mutual masturbation is out of the question as well.
Is the porn he watches "normal" enough? You at least don't seem to have a problem with the porn itself, merely that you are left out of it.
Paltalk seems to be video chat BUT "clean" enough, looking at the site its main purpose doesn't seem to be porn unlike say adultfriendfinder.
Talking to women is not the same as having sex, is he like a dog chasing after cars, all bark, no bite? He likes the chatting up but when it comes time to turn on the action he shyes away?
I am really starting to get the idea that he has problems with sex, that either he thinks it is dirty OR tinks he ain
t good enough. Something like that. Could be any number of reasons, even a combination. Say that he has been raised to see sex as dirty, doesn't have a lot of experience as a result and is intimidated by your experience etc etc.
How is he in daily life, affectionate or a cold fish. Is he shy around other women (not on a webcam).
That he doesn't want to chat with you via a webcam suggest to me that he like the safety of virtuel women over real ones.
He got issues, which ones I don't know, but I suggest you look for anything in his past that could explain his behaviour. You might consider seeking marriage counseling (don't have to be married for it) to solve it.
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