A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I've fallen for my best friend. But he's the most A-sexual person in the world, he's never had a girlfriend and never even hints at anything along those lines. Not to anyone. The only time he's ever mentioned anything of the sort is once when he mentioned he could have gone out with a girl but didn't because of his other commitments. We're 22 and I've had boyfriends/long term relationships and everything, but even so he's a mystery to me! I've never known a man with no sexual inclination whatsoever, surely that can't be the case! I understand his career etc. could mean he doesn't want a relationship, but even so that surely doesn't stop him from liking people. And I'm fairly certain he isn't gay!Guys, help! I can't believe for a second he doesn't think about things like that, even if he's never/has no desire to act on it. Any male advice would be awesome, how can I try and suss whether he might think of me that way? And please don't say "just ask him" because he'd seriously freak out! He's pretty private and in a lot of respects quite shy, so me declaring undying love isn't the best plan. I guess every guy's been there when they were young. Anything I should be looking out for or tips on how I should approach this?
View related questions:
best friend, never had a girlfriend, no desire, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (27 April 2008):
 It surely can be the case that he has no sexual inclinations whatsoever. We all got different sex-drives and just as some people are totally controlled by it, some just don't have any. Try being on chemo, see what it does to your sex-drive.
He might also be shy about it, around your age it ain't all that unusual for guys to still be virgins, hardly something he is going to want to broadcast especially to a girl who already has had lots of experience.
If this is the case he might simply have given up on women.
About your best bet would be to try and find out what his approach to porn is. If he has any, it means he does have a sex-drive but just for some reason doesn't approach real women, if he doesn't, doesn't even look at attractive women, then he might well be a-sexual or homosexual and in the closet or even attracted to something else.
Considering how you describe him I think it is most likely simply in-experienced and unsure and too shy to do anything about it. Lets be honest, exactly how would a virgin guy around your age approach a girl like you whose been around the block a couple of times? Sure, just talk to you, well that is a LOT easier said then done.
Find out wether he is intrested in sex/women at all, if so, then you are going to have to make it clear to him that any approach by him will be welcome no matter how in-experienced. Good luck with that.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): Some people ARE asexual, thats not a big shock really. You get all types of people in the world, it just sounds like he has a really low sex drive MAYBE. Maybe he dosen't like talking about sex in front of people, ever think of that? How do you know he hasn't had a g/f? he might have kept it secret.Start flirting with him and see where it leads
...............................
|
