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... Send *azyGuy a private message | | | *azyGuy's profile:I am 37 year old dutch male who used to think he was the mythical "nice guy" but realized that he really was just to lazy to be bad.
Worked a lot of different jobs, going where-ever the money happens to be and traveled a bit. |
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| Latest articles: Men can't read women
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 March 2008: Slashdot is a geek site focussing mostly on tech. Relationship advice is not something you will find there, but this story just has to be mentioned. http://entertainment.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=08/03/30/0028211 http://www.livescience.co...
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I think I was raped by the man I'm in love with... at 18.
Q. Hey everyone, I feel kinda scared and wierd asking this question but I'm so confused and I need help. Today after I got home from picking up my boyfriend from work, we ate breakfast and he was watching the highlights from the celtics vs lakers ...
A. 18 June 2008: Sounds like rape to me, but not all rape is the same.
Basically you didn't so much say "no" as "not right now". You wanted it earlier and presumably would have wanted it at some later time, just not at that moment.
He did not respect that and... (read in full...)
Do straight men enjoy watching other men masturbate? Is that right?
Q. My boyfriend just told me that he liked to watch other men masturbate, is that right? I've caught him watching porn on TV with just a man masturbating..do straight men enjoy this?...
A. 18 June 2008: Well a lot of porn ends with the guy jerking off in the woman's face, because that is how you say "I love you" in porn land but just a solo guy masturbating?
No, that is not a straight guy thing. Now a solo woman masturbating...
Mind you, we ... (read in full...)
How do we get back at this guy? He lied to both of us about being separated!
Q. I'm in a really horrible situation, and really need advice as to how i can get back at this guy. I met a guy called Paul about a month ago and we ended up flirting. He was wearing a wedding ring and I brought it up and he said he was seperating ...
A. 18 June 2008: Get revenge? For what? You slept with a guy you KNEW was married. Even if you swallowed that line of him wearing the ring until the divorce was final you STILL went with him knowing he was still married.
Don't blame him for being a dumb slut. If... (read in full...)
If a guy says he dumped his ex because SHE used him for sex, but he pressurises his new for sex, what does that tell you?
Q. If a guy tells you he hates "skanks" and "sluts", but he himself tries to sleep with every girl he goes out with on the first date, then how can he say that? If a guy says he dumped his ex gf because SHE used him for sex, but he puts pressure on his ...
A. 18 June 2008: It is called double standards.
They are amazing, you should try them once, can give you a whole new outlook on life.
Basically, it is one set of rules for him and one set of rules for women.
... (read in full...)
I'm scared my boyfriend will hurt me if I tell him I cheated on him!
Q. I'm scared by bf will hurt me if I tell him I cheated on him. He knows something's wrong as he's pretty perceptive to my emotions and he keeps asking me what's wrong, I feel so guilty I have to tell him I slept with a guy from work. But he can get ...
A. 18 June 2008: Whoa, he is an abuser, pure and simple. A wife beater with a long history, against you and another woman.
The cheating, well that is bad of course, don't do that kind of thing but that is unrelated.
Even if this incident passes what is going to... (read in full...)
My fling is now sending me naked pics of himself?
Q. This guy who I had a fling with a few months ago has suddenly decided to get in contact with me in a hope to get with me again. Now he has sent me naked pictures of himself. I mean we only met once and he seemed really nice the non sleazy guy. We ...
A. 18 June 2008: Well if you don't want him to tell him to stop it.
It happens a lot, for some reason some people seem to think it is sex not realizing that only a few people are beautiful naked and none of them are male.
He thinks this is a way to seduce yo... (read in full...)
What makes a perfect dad?
Q. Hi me and my wife are having a child in October. Can anyone tell me what a dads role is? What makes a perfect dad? ...
A. 18 June 2008: Simply being there, 24/7 365 days a year for 20 years.
What kids need most of all is stability. Everything else is just a bonus. Don't try to be to perfect, just try to be there, that is hard enough for most.... (read in full...)
I get no pleasure from vaginal sex, any advice please?
Q. hey....well i don't really do things like this but i feel its my only last option!!!! i lost my virginity last year,obv it wasn't that nice and i got no pleasure but iv'e been having sex regualary since,my problem is that i get no pleasure whatsoe...
A. 18 June 2008: Talking a wild stab here but from the way you talk I get the idea that for some reason you don't think of vaginal sex as something fun/exciting to do, just something you got to put up with. Is this the case and was it already the case before you ... (read in full...)
Should I distance myself from my friend who has cancer? I don't think I can handle this...
Q. okay so i have this friend who has cancer, and i love her deeply. i tlaked about this with my mother and i know that she only has about 1 year to live. now my grandma died about 3 years ago and i wasnt very close to her, but i got really depr...
A. 18 June 2008: Is cancer contagious? Just how old are you?
Because if that is your attitude then yes, distance yourself from her because she doesn't need you around.
She needs support not someone who worries only about herself.... (read in full...)
She says the affair "just happened" what does it mean?
Q. My wife had an affair. We have tried to talk about it, and she said 'it just happened'. What does this mean. Is she putting it down to the hand of God. I've pressed her on the point but she maintains it just happened. Explain please....
A. 18 June 2008: It is a common excuse. The notion that things just happen.
It is valid enough for simple things. Like yawning or letting out a fart. These things can just happen.
But cheating? Think about it as lawyer would look at it. Pre-meditated or... (read in full...)
Are there other girls out there like me?
Q. This is going to be a strange one. Im a 19yr old female. Im what my bf calls borderline nympho. I'm able to have multiple orgasms very quickly (within minutes). I've really truly squirted as well, not pee, but a strange fluid. Is this norm...
A. 18 June 2008: You are not a nympho, read up on it. Unless you need sex constantly AND will take it from anyone who happens to be around then you are not a nymphomaniac.
Multiple orgasms are something some women can have, same as squirting during an orgasm. ... (read in full...)
Am I in the wrong even though I didn't know he had a girlfriend?
Q. I want peoples opinion on this please. A guy went down on me after we kissed. After this had happened I found out he had a girl friend. I had no clue before the act occured. I hold my hands up to acting "slutty" but other than being slutty, am...
A. 18 June 2008: No, he should not have kissed you. ... (read in full...)
My sisters husband forced me to have sex
Q. i lost my virginity at age 12 with my sisters husband. i dident want to but he forced me. know i dont know if to tell my sister wat happend. wat should i do?...
A. 18 June 2008: I want you to consider this, he raped a child, that makes him a pedophile and a child molester. A very serious crime by itself but also one that tends to repeat itself.
He raped you, who is next?
What if at some point he has a daughter. Do you... (read in full...)
He left me, but was a great father to our children, now he's thinking about starting over, should I give him a chance?
Q. Hello I'm a 34 year old women. I've been with a guy for 13 years. We have struggled with money issues for as long as I can remember and we now have three beautiful children together (a 5yr old, a 3yr old and a 2yr old.) When my 2nd child was ...
A. 18 June 2008: Well you already gave him a second chance before. This is the third chance?
Basically, what is best for the kids? What role model is he providing? Kids grow up to emulate their parents. Is this how you want your sons to behave in the future, ... (read in full...)
He asked me to offer him oral after anal sex, what do you think?
Q. I let my sexpartner do anything he wants when it comes to SEX. I enjoy anal sex with him and he is my only sex partner out of 5 years. One day he wanted to pull out after anal and put it in my mouth. I told him NO WAY thats nasty. Really which one ...
A. 18 June 2008: Porn stars do it, it is called Ass To Mouth (ATM). Of course, porn stars also have an enema, sometimes even two BEFORE the shoot starts.
That is why you never see any traces of feces in professional porn, it is completely clean. Anyway, they get... (read in full...)
He has been violent to me will he change?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend over a year now, and we just had a child together a month ago. He the nicest guy I have ever met and treats me better than anyone I know. He is a very easy to get along with, my friends like him, and my family loves ...
A. 16 June 2008: My dear, read your own post as if it was written by a stranger and give your honest opinion.
He is the sweatest guy who has only slapped you, choked you and .... (you don't even dare to write what happened the 3rd time)
That is NOT sweat. If th... (read in full...)
Are these signs I need glasses?
Q. When I read I begin to get a headache come on and I need to blink excessively and my eyes sometimes water. The sun and computer screens make my eyes hurt after a while even when distanced away from me. I've begun leaving curtains closed wh...
A. 15 June 2008: No, you need glasses if objects get blurry from either being too close or being too far.
I would take this to a doctor, being too sensitive to light might be an indication of something else being wrong then bad eye sight.
Medical quest... (read in full...)
It's like she lives on another planet. Is this abnormal and how do I fix it?
Q. My wife of five years is driving me crazy. We're both Christians but she, unlike me, is very devout and has an incredibly attitude towards all forms of physical intimacy. She isn't interested in having kids and does not believe in recreational sex. ...
A. 15 June 2008: Doesn't want kids as a devout Christian? Disobeys her husband?
Doesn't work like that, go forth and multiply that is strict Christian teaching and as for refusing your husband, that is a no-no.
So either figure out what her real problem is ... (read in full...)
I have extreme confidence issues when it comes to men. Any ideas of how to overcome this?
Q. so i have serious confidence issues when it comes to men. if i dont know them or are a bit wary of them or even just in an uncomfortable situation. i freeze up. i wont talk, make eye contact or even talk to my girl friends till they've gone. if i...
A. 14 June 2008: Is there some way you could join a club with another female who is willing to be a buffer where there are men?
It might even be good idea if the men in question are NOT potential love interests, you want to get used to men, not get a date just yet... (read in full...)
Cheating - the door
Q. Once apon a time, everything was simple and the courting girls and boys of the world fell in love, married and grew gracefully old together. The modern day differs from this and its harder to find "mr right". Day by day, we go through the cheats, ...
A. 14 June 2008: I think you meant "delay" instead of prolong.
There are lots of reasons people stay with the wrong person.
Fear of being alone.
Thinking they can cure the other.
The good bits outweigh the bad bits.
But I think you make on fatal f... (read in full...)
Is it possible for a partner to carry on 'pleasuring' after orgasm with it continuing to be enjoyable and then able to create another orgasm?
Q. ...When i think i am reaching then achieving orgasm my heartbeat and breathing becomes faster, the sensitivity increases and there is uncontrollable, like, twitching of my legs and well the pelvic area, this seems to build till i get a tingley pins ...
A. 14 June 2008: It depends on the woman, some can just keep going and going while others become so sensitive that any touching actually hurts and yet others find that once is enough thank your very much.
You should know best wether you got an orgasm or not. The... (read in full...)
Can men please tell me why they watch porn? Is it because of disatisfaction with you partner?
Q. i have a question and i wish that most of the man can answer this. is woman or girl friend or wife needs to be jealous or angry or be mad or upset to their man when they are watching porn. do we woman needs to worry about it? what is you man ...
A. 14 June 2008: When I started on this site I tended to defend porn, see it as the male equivalent of watching trash like Titanic.
But having read a lot of posts about the subject some men seem to have trouble with moderation.
A little bit of porn is really n... (read in full...)
I'm having twins and my husband cheated on me... now she is calling saying we have to get along for the kids sake!!!!!!!!!!
Q. Hi im 7 months pregnant with identical twins and have a 2 year old boy aswell i have just found out tht my husbund is cheating on me. And as been doing so for around 9 months. Im heart broken and i cant look at him or touch him he makes me feel sick ...
A. 14 June 2008: Talk to a lawyer, you got to know where you stand and it helps to have someone on your side who is trained to be objective.
If that goes to far for you seek out counseling just so you have someone to talk to who is on your side.
But really se... (read in full...)
What do these men want from me?
Q. Hi, would like some advice on this please as i just don't understand what went wrong. I am in my late thirties, independent, good job, my own house, just trying to find my mr right but tired of getting messed around and hurt. i met a guy online last ...
A. 14 June 2008: One thing you got to remember about single people as they get older is that while they may desire the idea of a relationship they will have come to like/expect the freedom they had for all these years.
When you are young you are in some ways tra... (read in full...)
FWB/casual do people think he would commit more over time?
Q. Hey all would just like an outside view on a situation. I met this guy 2 weeks ago (total stranger) and we got on very well and have met up nearly everyday since. He is always trying to kiss/cuddle and sends sweet texts about how he misses me etc. ...
A. 13 June 2008: Going to have to go against the others, I don't think he is interested in anything more then sex.
His line is just to string it out as long as possible. It is just a gut feeling from what you posted. Male instinct if you like.
... (read in full...)
He wants to take my virginty during our outing with his parents!
Q. ok, so me and my boyfriend are going to a monster truck show and he wants to have sex during our outing (6:00 PM- about 1:00 AM) He says that he loves me and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I just feel like losing my virginity ...
A. 13 June 2008: You got to admire that guys balls.
Might try asking my girlfriend to do some anal sex in the half-time of tonights soccer match. Good idea you think?
If you feel ready to have sex then there is no harm but I could think of better places fo... (read in full...)
I want to be with him in the end... but I don't know about the middle!!
Q. My boyfriend and i have been dating for a year and a half. I aboslutely love him. We are going to different colleges next year, only about 2 hours apart. But i can't stop thinking about missing out on the "college life". I know that this boy would ...
A. 12 June 2008: So the college experience is sleeping around? Well, I would be sure to tell him that, then you won't have to worry about the "middle". Or the end for that matter because he will be gone.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I cant seem to have sex because of the pain
Q. me and my boyfriend tried to have sex so many times but it hurts a lot and i can't stand the pain, my hymen is too elastic. i'm desperate and i think i'll go to see a doctor. or maybe it's better that i lose my virginity by fingering? please help ...
A. 12 June 2008: It can happen that the hymen is too strong to be broken by simple penetration. A doctor will then cut it.
I would suggest letting it be done. It is a piece of skin after all. Thin in most cases but tearing a skin that resists could A: really r... (read in full...)
Do guys ever get over "player" stage?
Q. I never thought i'd be one of those girls that are so in love they would put their life on the side for a guy. I cant say no to my best friend.I love him so much,even though he doesnt want to commit.I always end up givng in and messing around with ...
A. 12 June 2008: Yes we do get over it. It is called death. Happens to all of us so there is hope after all girls.... (read in full...)
What is the difference between having sex and making love?
Q. i was just wondering whats the difference betwwen making love and having sex..how can u tell???...
A. 12 June 2008: Sex is about an orgasm.
Making love is about being intimate with someone.
You can have sex with your girlfriend, but you cannot make love with a hooker.
... (read in full...)
Do you think smokimg pot affects a future marriage or that is ok?
Q. My current bf smokes pot three times a day,but he seems like a nice guy, my ex wants me back (he does not smoke weed),do you think smokimg pot affects a future marriage or that is ok? Help...
A. 12 June 2008: Am I right in thinking that you feel there NEITHER of these two guys is "Mr Right" but that because you feel you are running out of time one of these will just have to do?
Settling is a bad thing and going into a relationship with an attitude... (read in full...)
I think my sisters boyfriend is hitting her!!!! What should I do?!?!
Q. Hey Everyone Im asking this for my sister, because i believe that her boyfriend is hitting her, but she won't leave him, even though she admitted that he has hit her in the past, but stopped after she walked out, since then she went back and mo...
A. 11 June 2008: She has to set the pace. Trying to force the issue just doesn't work and in fact makes it worse. She will then feel under attack and retreat to the "safety" of her relationship.
She needs to realize on her own that things are wrong. All you can ... (read in full...)
Why do women give a man a second look when they find out the man is involved in a relationship?
Q. I recently found out the man I have been seeing for the past 4 years has been talking to a married woman with 2 children the entire time. He met her right after we met. I talked to her and she said she would ask questions about me but he would ...
A. 11 June 2008: Simple, if they dismissed him at first glance they might think "well if another woman is putting up with him, he must have something".
... (read in full...)
Do you think smokimg pot affects a future marriage or that is ok?
Q. My current bf smokes pot three times a day,but he seems like a nice guy, my ex wants me back (he does not smoke weed),do you think smokimg pot affects a future marriage or that is ok? Help...
A. 11 June 2008: The effects of marijuana long-term are still being figured out. In my own social circle I notice that those who use(d) it heavily tend to be... well a bit odd. More paranoid, tempers, short attention span. Just not the kind of people you want to ... (read in full...)
I can't perform in the bedroom (I'm disabled) but its too embarrassing to tell her that I can't make love to her...what should I do?
Q. My girlfriend's fallen out with me and won't talk to me properly and I was wondering if anybody could offer me some advice. I'm disabled and really can't perform in the bedroom... my ex-girlfriend saw other guys on the side for that so there wa...
A. 11 June 2008: She deserves the truth and so do you.
You should also stop thinking with your penis.
I find it hard to believe you can't satisfy a woman sexually because you are disabled without her realizing this.
If you can move your tongue, you can sat... (read in full...)
I discovered that being a jerk does not make girls like you.
Q. I screwed up big time. A few months ago I read on some website that girls only like guys who are complete jerks. So I decided to be a jerk to a girl that I liked in hopes that she would start to like me. That was really stupid because now she sees ...
A. 11 June 2008: To the women, you really should google "dating tips for guys" and similar. Picking up chicks advice and such.
The "be a jerk" advice is pretty common. It is sort of true but sadly women are very good at picking out fakers and don't want any of t... (read in full...)
Any tips on disguising or ignoring the taste of cum?
Q. hi i just need some general advice.. well me and my bf have just started doing sexual stuff and when i gave him a bj i found out i really do not like the taste of cum! can anyone give me any tips on what to do to disguise the taste or not be ...
A. 11 June 2008: Condom... (read in full...)
I never orgasm during sexual intercourse, but when I masturbate I do... why is that so?
Q. I'm a very sexually active 25 year old female. I have been having sex on and off for about 7 years. I have noticed that i NEVER orgasm with sexual intercourse, but when i masturbate manually with my own fingers inside, i can orgasm in less than 10 ...
A. 11 June 2008: In less then 10 minutes?
That ain't a record breaker, that is in fact very slow indeed.
Men and women don't differ all that much in how much time they need to orgasm from masturbation, we are talking a couple of minutes. If you need a full 10 t... (read in full...)
Even though I know all he wants is sex, I still feel there's a reason to talk to him and try and become closer to him!! Any advise?
Q. Early last year I met an eighteen year-old boy. It was amazing. He was gorgeous, absolutely adorable and just the nicest person I had ever known. It was amazing. We really hit it off from the start, and I just loved every minute of it. We were never ...
A. 11 June 2008: Stay true to yourself whatever you do.
There is no reason you can't be friends with him if he respects that you just don't want sex yet/with him/ever. He is at least honest about what he wants.
Just don't think you can change him.
Why do ... (read in full...)
I am looking into bugging his briefcase when he travels and puting a GPS devise on his car. What else should I be doing?
Q. My husband travels for business (first class air and hotels) and he has started drinking in the hotel bars and also when he entertains clients. He does not drink at home and he's home every night after work. He was not a drinker before nor did he ...
A. 11 June 2008: What else should you be doing? How about taking a deep breath and stop the crazy for a second?
I am not saying anything is going on but what evidence have you got? On the one hand you got a nice husband you describe in glowing terms, one the othe... (read in full...)
Does semen leak out straight after intercourse-or worse still the next day!?
Q. I'm ready to start having full sex with my boyfriend.We're both very sensible and have been talking about contraception before we start. It's a toss up between the pill or a condom. I fancy the pill because condoms might reduce sensation but does ...
A. 11 June 2008: Medical fact: you can get pregnant days after the actual intercourse took place.
I presume you know that it takes and egg and one sperm to get pregnant. So logically if you can get pregnant days after intercourse then at least some sperm remain i... (read in full...)
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