A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I am 18 and don't drink alcohol (not even a little bit). People seem to not like me because I dont drink, well mostly guys anyway. When a guy learns that I dont drink, they either say something in a shocked voice like 'oh my god how can you survive?!' and then never speak to me again, or they go 'come on just have one drink, it wont hurt you'...and continue to try and harass me into drinking (which ive never given into by the way). This jsut really upsets me because its like they cant accept me for who I am and I dont understand why its such a big deal/bad thing that I dont drink. I dont try to tell them to give up drinking, so why do they have to try and get me to drink? Its not like im hurting anyone by not drinking, if anything, people are gona get hurt by them drinking and making druken mistakes.I guess what im wondering is why people do this, is there anything i am doing to make them not accept me for being a non drinker, and also will they always be like this? or could it just be an age thing? I feel like such an outcast, being surrounded by all these heavy drinkers at uni and me not drinking at all. Its even making me not want to go out with friends sometimes because all they do is drink and i hate going out with them, not drinking and geting weird looks or people saying things to make me feel like a loser. Thanks for any help. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (30 April 2008):
 Some people are very susceptible to peer pressure. They GOT to do what everyone else does and everyone who doesn't do that is weird. They drink because their friends drink and expect their friends to drink as well.
About the only suggestion I have for you is to stick to your guns and find a different social circle. Don't start drinking just because your "friends" say you have too. They are not friends.
Heavy drinking seems to be on the increase and those who indulge in it are really hurting themselves. Apart from the health risks read the posts on this site where a person got drunk and did something they regret for the rest of their lives.
Just dump these people, they just want to drag you down to their level. It is easy to say this of course but hopefully you have the guts to stand your ground.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2008): Its great that you don't drink .I almost thought there was no one left who'd never drink.its difficult when among friends, but eventually, if u can compensate that by doing sumthing for your friends, they wont outcast you...its amazing that u have stuck to your principles.
...............................
A
female
reader, shazzy67  +, writes (8 February 2008):
 I too don't drink alcohol that often (and very little when I do).Most people who do go to bars and pubs and do drink feel extremely out of place when someone says that they don't drink.I always put them at ease by saying "I don't need drink to relax and have a good time".Never let anyone make you feel awkward because your choosing not to do something they do.Good luck...Shazzy
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2008): I must admit, I used to drink a lot in my late teens and early twenties. My friend had this friend whom she worked with, and she was at a party I was at. She wasn't drinking. I kept asking her why she wasn't drinking. I did find it odd. Like, why are you at a party if you aren't going to have even 1 beer? Now that I'm older, I think it's totally respectable that she stuck to her guns like she did. And people liked her to come along as the "designated driver" so if you think about it, you could be saving people's live's. And that is very respectable! By the way, I ended up getting a drunk driving offense which was the reason I didn't get this really great government job I was up for. That was 6 years ago, & I think every day that if I hadn't made that 1 mistake I'd have a great job now, instead of being unemployed. If it really bothers you, you can tell them that you have a stomach issue that won't tolerate alcohol, or make something else up.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2008): If I was him I'd be overjoyed! I could do the drinking and you could do the driving. Also you'll be a lot cheaper to keep than a girlfriend who like a drop!
You stick to your priciples love. Not drinking never hurt anyone whereas drinking has hurt a great many people. How nice it must be to be in control of your senses 100% of the time!
And yes, it's probably an age thing with these people - just ignore them. You'll never get done for drink driving or become an alcoholic which has got to be a bonus.
Phil
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2008): These guys are negative towards you because you can do some thing they cant. They want you to drink so that they feel better about what they are doing and what they drink. When i first stopped all i got was negative comments from friends, they all tried to get me drinking again. Eight years down the road they all respect me for it and some even wish they had the will power to stop.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2008): You are obviously hanging around the wrong people. I can relate though, while I do drink alcohol myself I have noticed that whenever I'm not drinking, because I'm working the next day or simply because I don't feel like it, there are a million people (even complete strangers) telling me I should drink.
...............................
A
female
reader, jodie_bristol +, writes (6 February 2008):
i can totally relate to your problem... i dont need to drink to have a good time although my friends believe its the only way they can have a good time. when you meet a guy who is worth your time you will know beacuse he wont be bothered if you drink or not. i believe that most young people do drink alot more then and older person as they get older they will see that its not all about drinking. you should explain to your friends that its your choice and that you are happy not drinking, then you might feel more conftable when you go out.
dont let people tell you what to do when it comes to any thing in your life
good luck with this!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2008): Hey I kno how you feel about drinking/not drinking alcohol. I do have a few drinks but I also can go out and have a good nite without drinking but some of my friends can't see that. They think that if your not drinking you can't enjoy yourself and have a good nite!!My best friend and I take it in turns to drive when we go out and some people find this weird!!! I'll drive one nite and she'll drive the next.
I think that these people are only saying it to you now as they are starting to go out and drink now and that they will soon grow up and see that drinking is not all its cracked up to be!!!
If you don't want to drink there's no law saying you have and dont let your friends/peers presure you into drinking!!
Best of luck to you x
...............................
A
female
reader, seasons +, writes (6 February 2008):
hi,to be honest you need to hang around people who dont spend their time in the drinking enviroment.
firstly theirs plenty to do that dont involve drinking and secondly being you thats all that counts! stuff everyone else in what they say or think!
I dont drink either and no-one comments on that so chin up and enjoy being young while you can.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2008): Hi Hunny,
You stick to what you want to do sweetheart, Ive seen more damage and heartache because of drink than you could imagine, Yea I like a drink now and then but I have a male friend and he doesnt, we go out and he has just as much fun and no one dare tell him to get a drink down his neck love:) You be who you want to be in life, do what you want to do in life and live your life to make you happy. And take no notice hunny, Alot of young people get pulled into peer presure and end up in really bad ways, your a indervidual and you have your choices in life never let anyone tell you otherwise TAKE CARE SWEETHEART WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
...............................
|
