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... Send *azyGuy a private message | | | *azyGuy's profile:I am 37 year old dutch male who used to think he was the mythical "nice guy" but realized that he really was just to lazy to be bad.
Worked a lot of different jobs, going where-ever the money happens to be and traveled a bit. |
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| Latest articles: Men can't read women
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 March 2008: Slashdot is a geek site focussing mostly on tech. Relationship advice is not something you will find there, but this story just has to be mentioned. http://entertainment.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=08/03/30/0028211 http://www.livescience.co...
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He wants to use me until he gets tired of my body and get's mad if I don't let him!
Q. I have a friend with benefits for over four years. One day he told me that he will soon get tired of my body. i have been waiting for him to get tired of my body for the last three years but he just keeps coming back for more. I am tired of him but ...
A. 24 March 2008: Take it one step at a time and hang in there.
... (read in full...)
I feel asexual, is there something wrong with me? There was this incident with my step-dad....
Q. I'm 18 and have no sex drive. Is there something wrong with me?? When i was 9 I was molested by my step-dad, and i remember his finger penetrated me and it hurt sooooo much!!! I still remember it like nothing. But it caused me no psychological ...
A. 24 March 2008: You are right "asexual" means that you are not sexually attracted to either sex. One of the causes, past sexual abuse.
What the male reader is referring to is "asexual reproduction". This is biology and has nothing to do with the subject at hand ... (read in full...)
How do I say "no more!" to rough sex with my married boss?
Q. Me and my boss playd around alot yesterday for the first time. i went down to his house for a coffee which was totally normal because we have always been close and i always come and talk to him about alot of things. we started 2 talk and the topics ...
A. 24 March 2008: It sounds like rape, especially since you said no and he forced you. I suggest speaking with the police about this. Don't be afraid, if nothing else they can give you advice.
Remember, this guy is dangerous. If you do nothing, he controls you and ... (read in full...)
I am 20 years old and I've never had a boyfriend where did I go wrong?
Q. ok im twenty years old and ive never had a boyfriend. sometimes i feel like such a freak.. i kissed a guy i really liked (when i was 18) but pulled away each time he used tongue because i was afraid to be a bad kisser. im a people person, very ...
A. 24 March 2008: Sure that saying has a lot of truth in it. FOR OLD PEOPLE!
Geez, you are 20 and acting like your life is over.
Attraction to unavailable men is easy enough to explain, you can then have the feeling of attractions without worrying about a... (read in full...)
What kind of food can I have that want increase my weight?
Q. I tend to get very emotional when i think about my looks. yet sometimes i think i am pretty. all of my friends and family and some guys tell me i am "beautiful, hott, sexy, pretty, gorgeous" but they are just words. i hate not knowing the truth... ...
A. 24 March 2008: Cameltoe? Do you even know what that is?
It is the contours of your vulva showing through your clothing. It is not something you can "correct" with dieting or indeed correct at all. It is part of your female body in the same way that men got a bu... (read in full...)
He broke up with me because I was talking to some guy, but I want him back!
Q. Me and my boyfriend had been dating for 8 months and then we broke up because i talked to some guy!! he's muslim though so remember that. We got back together a short time after and it doesnt feel the same anymore, it does for him but me i dont no...
A. 24 March 2008: If you go back with him then prepare to be controlled again. He will continue trying to tell you how to behave, what you can do and with who.
Being muslim has nothing to do with it. He is just trying to control you.
You are smart to have lo... (read in full...)
Why does my wife prefer masturbation to making love with me?
Q. I've been married since 2005 and I love my wife we both work away in the mining industry our sex life is 0. She tells me that she is tied all the time witch I can understand so am I. The problem is I try and do what I can to get her intrested and ...
A. 24 March 2008: Masturbation is easy, you know what you want and do it. Compared to full on sex it is also a lot less tiring.
What offcourse masturbation doesn't have is intimacy and usually it is women who complain about this the most.
"We used to have a g... (read in full...)
My BF constantly preaches at me to point out the wrongness of my religious beliefs!
Q. my boyfriend is deeply religious and raised in the christian church. i however was raised by an deist (that god does not play a part in the outcome of your lifes events) parent and a catholic parent. i chose to take the deist route. my boyf...
A. 24 March 2008: Ah, the saviour. The holier then thou partner who will save you from your wicked ways. What are you doing reading this? You should be running.
It don't matter what you do, this type of person will ALWAYS think they are "better" then you and try ... (read in full...)
I wanted sex, he didn't at first but in the end gave in! Now he claims it was rape?!
Q. The other night I came home drunk and very horny but my boyfriend was asleep in bed. I woke him up by kissing him and touching him down there. At first he told me leave him alone as he was tired but in the end he turned round and we had full sex, as ...
A. 24 March 2008: Rape doesn't have to be include physical violence, it can include mental pressure as well. "Have sex with me or I won't love you anymore". Read up on marital rape.
He could be claiming you physically forced yourself on him. Unlikely to stand up... (read in full...)
He wants to use me until he gets tired of my body and get's mad if I don't let him!
Q. I have a friend with benefits for over four years. One day he told me that he will soon get tired of my body. i have been waiting for him to get tired of my body for the last three years but he just keeps coming back for more. I am tired of him but ...
A. 24 March 2008: Don't you just hate being right sometimes. Read the post, thought, "mmm, likely somekind of problem growing up giving her a distorted view of male/female relations" and voila, there is the update.
Father who was abusive towards mother.
Monkey ... (read in full...)
I feel asexual, is there something wrong with me? There was this incident with my step-dad....
Q. I'm 18 and have no sex drive. Is there something wrong with me?? When i was 9 I was molested by my step-dad, and i remember his finger penetrated me and it hurt sooooo much!!! I still remember it like nothing. But it caused me no psychological ...
A. 24 March 2008: Yes it is common sadly, what you are displaying is typical signs of sexual abuse.
Sorry, but you have suffered a trauma, no you can't just get over it. Your body/mind has learned that sex/penetration is painful and so will try to prevent it from ... (read in full...)
My internet buddy has asked me for sex what should I say?
Q. Hi.I like this guy i havent seen for a long time, i've only seen him on the internet lately, he is really good looking ,i know him in person aswell, and he saw some new photos of me as I am now and he asked me if I wanted to have sex !.How should I ...
A. 24 March 2008: That is you choice isn't it, are you up for a one nightstand?
Because this is nothing more then that. He wants a fuck and that is it, this won't turn into a relationship. Ever.
You are clearly not comfortable with the idea, else why ask? So... (read in full...)
Older guys messages freaked me out,why did I feel a little thrill too?
Q. Okay, I kinda have no clue what to do right now. I'm 17 and have a myspace profile and just recently a guy I added to my friends has contacted me and said he wanted to add me to messenger or get my number. But he's 26 and I got freaked out by other ...
A. 24 March 2008: Was it a rollercoaster like thrill? Scream at the top of your head in sheer terror in the safest form of transport in the world?
He is dangerous but harmless as long as it is just the internet.
He is a window into the adult world, more matu... (read in full...)
How do I stop starving myself after split from boyfriend?
Q. Umm right here goes..its taken alot of courage for me to say this so PLEASE be nice :) Well i think i might be starving myself. i have no idea what im doing. im 15, and 5ft 2. i weigh 6.5 stone..but i have size 32D boobs :S recently i have split up ...
A. 24 March 2008: http://www.4girls.gov/nutrition/BMI_Calc.cfm is the only calculator I can find for teen girls
If I converted right, then you are bordering on being too thin but still in the healthy range.
Do you see yourselve as being too fat, because right no... (read in full...)
Should I say yes to a threesome with boyfriend and his mate?
Q. I have beening dating my current boyfriend for the past 4 years. I love him with all my heart and he loves me too. We are both college students and we attend different universities. We are seperated by amost 13 states. A few months ago he told me ...
A. 24 March 2008: Nope, you shouldn't do something this drastic if you are the slightest bit uneasy with it. Keep swinging till you are older and in a very stable relationship and are 100% of the other people involved. And even then I would recommend against it if ... (read in full...)
Why do they lose their respect for me when I'm such a caring GF?
Q. I dont know where Im goin wrong with guys and I need some advice. Every relationship I have had, whether long-term or short-term, it always ends because they lose their respect for me and walk all over me. I dont know why this happens because I am a ...
A. 23 March 2008: It sounds like your friend got it right. If you are constantly the one to cave in first on an argument you will be seen as weak, because that is what it is. Stand up for yourself.
It sounds like you are dating the wrong kind of guy. Not all men ... (read in full...)
Did any of you think about sex so much at 15?...
Q. I'm 15 and I think about sex a lot .... is that bad ? did any of you think about it at this age ??? please tell me your thoughts thanks :) [Added] this is kinda weird to ask but I'm going to try to ask the best way I can . when I'm masturba...
A. 23 March 2008: Pretty much, yeah. Don't worry about it, it is hormones. Just don't let it control your life or lead you to do stupid things. Offcourse I am male, but from observations of girls your age back then, yeah, girls your age have sex on the mind as ... (read in full...)
If I have sex with my girlfriend will it feel different from mastrubation?
Q. Does a man get the same physical sensations from sexual intercourse as when he masturbates? I ask because my girlfriend wants to start having sex but I'm only used to getting an orgasm on my own doing it my way....
A. 23 March 2008: Yes, it will be a lot better, her vagina grasps you entire cock, is warm and soft and just no comparison to your hand. It is hard to describe without starting to sound like a porn stoy.
About the only problem that keeps coming up is that some guy... (read in full...)
Age of consent?
Q. I've always wondered this . It's very unclear to me . Is is illegal to have sex at age 15? please let me know thanks in advance ...
A. 23 March 2008: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_North_America#United_States
It depends on where you live. It probably is illegal for an adult to have sex with you. Currently the world is rather uptight on the whole subject. So be careful.... (read in full...)
How do I get a guy to fall in love with "me" and not my "looks"?
Q. i'm sorry if this first bit sounds like i'm bragging but i promise i am not. i am very pretty. i have always been told this to the extent it becomes extremely annoying. i am always voted first in the poll which decides which girl the guys in my ye...
A. 23 March 2008: Well, why not your best mate?
What is the "real you", are you sure it is worthy of attention? Not being mean, but if you got no hobbies, no intrests then perhaps your looks are all you got.
If a person not blessed with looks asks how to meet... (read in full...)
Why can't he ejaculate from oral sex?
Q. My bf says I'm great at giving oral, and he responds really well, so why can't he ejaculate? We were each others firsts, so its not like his ex's 'trained' him into different techniques. I usually give him oral for about 10minutes, but just can't s...
A. 23 March 2008: He may have trained himself.
When masturbating many men are too rough, making them insensitive to your softer touches.
Try including a basic handjob with the blowjob, jack him off while using your mouth.
I would recommend using a condom... (read in full...)
How do guys really feel about small boobs ?
Q. Hey I'm 15 and I have small boobs and I wanna know why guys like big ones so much ? are small boobs bad ?Does it really matter to guys ? I need some guys to be honest here. it doesn't matter how old you are but I need answers!!!! i...
A. 23 March 2008: It is a matter of taste. What matters more is that your breast size matches your size/weight, clothing and attitude.
What matters is how the total package looks. To many women try to dress/behave as something they are not.
If you got small br... (read in full...)
15 and taking erotic pictures for my BF - is that bad?
Q. I'm 15 and I take pornagraphic pictures of myself for my boyfriend(16) and he loves them . I'm glad he likes them but somtimes I feel like it's worng for me to do it . Could you give me your opinion. I don't mind taking the pictures and I love ...
A. 23 March 2008: While I think the law is idiotic and shows us that american are the most stupid people on the planet, right now you are producing child porn AND can be arrested and prosecuted for it EVEN if you don't send it to your bf.
http:... (read in full...)
Phone sex with the ex - pardonable?
Q. Recently my boyfriend has been talking to his ex over the phone. He admitted to me that they had phone sex and he had been phoning her while at work. He says that he has no feelings for her and it was just a mistake, do i forgive and forget or start ...
A. 23 March 2008: Can you forgive and forget?
People do stupid things, sometimes they learn from their mistakes, sometimes they don't. One problem is that cheaters if you remain with them will do again because the temptation is still there and now they know the... (read in full...)
I'm interested in finding a pheromone to attract the opposite sex. Any advice??
Q. I am a single 23 year old woman and am interested in finding a pheromone to attract the opposite sex. Do you have any experience with pheromones? Please tell me which ones have worked for you or which ones you tried and did not work for you....
A. 23 March 2008: Do women fall for these scams as well?
Usually it is just sad men that fall for it. It is a scam, like breast and penis enlargement pills.
About the only known smell that works is women feeling more relaxed when they smell a man's sweat.
... (read in full...)
I've found a lump 'downstairs'. Have I caught something???
Q. I have currently been indulging in a lot of sex with my boyfriend. But while I was at lunch today I could fell a pain 'downstairs' so I went to have a look and I found a lump of fluid right next to my clitoris Is this normal, or have I caught s...
A. 23 March 2008: It ain't normal. How big is it? Is it blister like?
It could be a lot of things, from a 'harmless' cyst to an STD.
Standard advice, see your doctor. ... (read in full...)
Does my bf want sex with my sister after our threesome??
Q. I gave my bf a threesome and a bj with my sister and both times he touched her first (guess he thought I didn't notice,but says he didn't) now its like when she comes over he looks in her direction frequently and when he talks to me he will turn to ...
A. 23 March 2008: o_O
You basically gave him an open pass to have sex with your sister when you did the threesome.
Offcourse he wants sex with her, there is obvious desire or he wouldn't have had the threesome and he can taste the forbidden fruit.
It is... (read in full...)
Do men ever go for a girl with personality over looks??
Q. I'm not ugly, i have been told i am pretty and i have a unique personality but my problem is there is always someone who is hotter!!!! I know men should really go for personalities but ,most of the ones in thier 20s go for pure hotness and i dont s...
A. 23 March 2008: Lets say that a man has a choice between two women, one a beauty but a mediocre personality, the other a wonderful girl but average personality. What will he choose?
Depends on what he is looking for right now. If he wants a long term relation... (read in full...)
He's told me that oral sex is something that he looks at as degrading and I've never had someone that loves me as he does - other guys feel this way?
Q. I'm in a relationship with a very wonderful guy. We compliment each other very well and have a very healthy relationship and can talk freely about any issues we have or feelings that need to be resolved. But there's one problem -- I can't understand ...
A. 23 March 2008: Who do he thinks it degrades?
I presume he thinks it is degrading for the woman to do it. Well in away that is very nice of him. If you look at society being a cocksucker is usually not a nice label.
Same really with cumming on a person. Bukkak... (read in full...)
He only became interested when it was clear I was willing to leave him... is it safe to meet him away from home?
Q. i have written for suggestions pertaining to my boyfriend and not knowing stuff about him, i have taken steps to finding things out, and questioning him about his family and stuff. we had a disagreement where he used curse words at me and in not so ...
A. 23 March 2008: Go with your feelings.
He is showing early signs of being abusive, not saying he is but you clearly seem to think something is wrong.
Go with that. For discussing things you don't need that much privacy, you can always do it in the garden or so... (read in full...)
It would give me such pleasure to give her pleasure by oral sex but she's reluctant! How to persuade my wife??
Q. I have a beautiful sexy wife I am so lucky. However I want to go down on her but she is very reluctant. I find this very frustrating as I want to give her a massive orgasm. She cums anyway when we have sex but it would give me such pleasure to give ...
A. 23 March 2008: Baby steps, don't just dive between her legs, work her entire body, if she resist your lips use your fingers and concentrate on other parts of her body for oral.
If she likes it, she will slowly allow more and more but as good as oral sex sounds, ... (read in full...)
I found a condom that was supposedly from over a year ago but the lubricant was wet on the ouside of the condom!?
Q. My Mother in Law has been trying to sabotage my relationship with my husband ever since she realized how much he was interested in me. I even have a hard time believing the things she does to us. The other day me and my husband were moving furn...
A. 23 March 2008: Water based lube, which is what is almost certainly used on condoms, doesn't stay wet long. Hell, it starts to dry up when it is used!
A full year exposed to the air? Bloody unlikely.
Tell your husband about it but be gentle, let him come to ... (read in full...)
We had sex after I warned him I'm interested in more than a physical relationship! How do I speak to him about this now?
Q. I need some help and advice. I have this male friend, not really a close friend but i used to work with years ago in our local Asda i dont remember him really from there but anyway i had been dating this other man for a few years who he knows (my ex ...
A. 23 March 2008: How long does the shagging go on? Until he is tired of you or you realize this is just sex, nothing more.
You told him you want more then meaningless sex, then had the meaningless sex he wanted.
I think you got some very confused ideas a... (read in full...)
Any reason besides sex or stretching for vaginal farting?
Q. I've had a really bad urinary tract infection for a couple weeks now in which time my husband and i haven't been having sex, but just 3 days ago i started getting vaginal farting. I usually get it while having sex or stretching... but i haven't been ...
A. 23 March 2008: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaginal_flatulence
Mentions a couple of possible causes apart from the normal ones that come from motion.
One I have heard described once is that an bacterial infection may be causing gas to be produced presumb... (read in full...)
All day boring and all night snoring! Is he a loser or is this just a phase?
Q. I have been married for over a year and I feel like I married a loser. I earn more money than him, I have a better social life and I do all the home improvements also! He is incapable of doing any plumbing or anything! And the sex is just medi...
A. 23 March 2008: Why on earth did you marry this guy? You mention absolutly no reason.
Am I right in thinking that you had a short courtship/engagement and didn't live together before?
It is not unusual for sex to die down in a marriage, but right after you ... (read in full...)
He says he loves me but he acts like I'm not worth the effort!
Q. How do you determine if you're being used? I moved in with my b/f 3 yrs. ago and made it clear that I would pitch into the funds for things like groceries and entertainment etc. I pay my own personal bills, he pays his. He came out of a bad ...
A. 23 March 2008: "How do you determine if you're being used?"
Have you read what you written down? My god woman, there is no nice way to say this.
He acts like you are not worth the effort? He acts like you are a bloody ATM machine. You are paying for items... (read in full...)
The Truth about Pubic Hair?
Q. Hi, I am a 15 year old girl and my boyfriend has been wanting to finger me but I am afraid to because I am afraid he will think pubes are gross. I tried shaving them but I had trouble doing a good job and after like a day it was just stubbly and ...
A. 23 March 2008: A popular image board exists on 4chan, where images of nude women can be posted. Since 4chan is based on a japanese site and has a heavy anime presence a lot of the women are (well used to be) japanese.
In japan, shaving is rare. So contrary... (read in full...)
If you know that a relationship is not going to last then why do you bother?
Q. If you know that a relationship is not going to last then why do you bother? I've been with my boyfriend for 6 mths, he's 22, so 4yrs older than me. We come from different racial backgrounds. My parents do not agree with my relationship but...
A. 23 March 2008: Well, why do you bother? The post is not exactly flowing with love and heartache.
I am almost getting the idea you are in the relationship to spite your racist parents and that is it. "Oh look mom/dad I am fucking a *******, ain't I bad"
... (read in full...)
Am I right to feel suspicious?
Q. Hi, i've been with my boyfriend for 7 months and i'm pregnant the problem is his job, he works in a pub and works 6 nights a week 6pm till closing so doesnt get home until 3 or 4am but i am getting suspicious because he seems to be getting home ...
A. 23 March 2008: Bluetooth is used for very short range wireless transmission.
Early on there were security concerns because the devices assumed that all communication was trusted. In theory leading to anyone in range being able to just send you anything... (read in full...)
Am I right to feel suspicious?
Q. Hi, i've been with my boyfriend for 7 months and i'm pregnant the problem is his job, he works in a pub and works 6 nights a week 6pm till closing so doesnt get home until 3 or 4am but i am getting suspicious because he seems to be getting home ...
A. 22 March 2008: Are the pictures of a woman (single) or more then one?
It shouldn't be too hard to see if the images were taken with his phone or wether he downloaded them. Simplest is the folder they are in on the phone, the images themselves contain info but... (read in full...)
I rejected his hints as I'm not physically attracted to him, do I tell him that?
Q. There is a guy friend who is interested in me. He has dropped plenty of hints that he wants more than a friendship with me but I act as though I don't get his hidden messages. I am not physically attracted to him nor does his personality pull me in ...
A. 22 March 2008: I would simply say that you don't like him that way, would you want to be rejected based on your looks?... (read in full...)
I'm not comfortable in my own skin and I really hate myself.. Am I crazy?
Q. We were very poor when we were young, I have an older brother who is the 'golden boy' cos he was the genius, the artist, good looking, he was good at everything. I have serius issues with my mum not out of jealousy or anything but because I felt she ...
A. 22 March 2008: Sadly, nothing about your case comes remotely suprising. I am involved with a support group for women who are trying to get out of prostitution. Just do tech for them but you pick stuff up. You are almost a textbook case.
You really do need to ... (read in full...)
Pregnant with my cheating boyfriend's baby! Should I have it?
Q. me and my boyfriend are having alot of issues right now.right after Valentines Day I found out that he cheated on me. he treated me like crap for awhile then we tried to work things out. Things arent the same, but we tried to work on them. I just ...
A. 22 March 2008: You are already raising one child? If this is not a problem, another shouldn't really make much difference should it?
If I read it correctly you are living on your own so already a single mother just with a deadbeat boyfriend?
Keep the baby... (read in full...)
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