A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Come on guys. Why do guys really dump a girl after a one night stand?Was it because the sex was bad, average? Or because you didn't respect her?If it was amazing and mind blowing and made you cum would you come back for more?Now be honest. An interested females reader would like to know.
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female
reader, lucylui +, writes (14 March 2009):
Hi there I dont quite understand why u r asking this question?? I mean if u sleep with a bloke after a night out or as a one off it is always classed as a one night stand its kinda a well known fact. You never see that person again or if u do then u know that it was a one off and get on with it. However I recently was being chased by a bloke for a couple of weeks and he was very persistant and very confident a bit too confident that i kept turning him down. Anyway one thing lead to another and he managed to get my phone number and was asking if i wanted to play... i always play hard to get but when it comes to blokes that are sooo over confident they r gods gift i make it that little bit harder and tend to be a tease too. So for about a week we were texting and we wud discuss wot we liked etc wen it came to sex...it seemed that we were very similar, this bloke liked a challenge and saw me as one of those..So he sent me a msg asking if he could have a birthday blow job for his bday. Basically to cut a long story short i decided to have some fun I knew what i was doing i knew what i wanted and so did he. The arrangement as such was to meet on his birthday for drinks with his mates and mine, then we would have a mad sex session. Well he turnt up on my door step the wknd b4 with two bottles of wine, and i kinda got the impression he obviously wanted to spend bit time with me may b have a little fun b4 his birthday night out so he werent gona b disapointed and to be honest this seemed a good idea to me too. Unfortunately he couldnt control himself and within ten mins was all over me. I didnt have a problem with is it was what we had arranged just the wknd b4 under different circumstances. So considering he was an over confident bloke the whole experience was not really what i was hoping for and was left very disapointed, although that night he had had some cocaine so no matter how much he or i tried there was no full on proper intercourse. But he did do his best to please me which i respected him for. We spoke about still meetin for his birthday and he was going to come back the following night... so now it was more like we were going to be f**k buddies which was cool with me. He left the next morning for work kissed me goodbye and said he would be bk later and for me to txt him wen i wake up. Now i did txt him wen i woke up and did not get a reply all day...it began to get late and my friend had called in a state so i invited her over and texted this bloke to say u cant come over tonight my mates in bad way ill text u l8r. I never had a reply and i wasnt going to chase him... i learnt my lesson along time ago on bein to needy and desperate and it didnt really bother me because the sex hadnt been anything to shout about. Now the reason i have told this story is because there is no explanation as to why he did not reply or turn up. I am still waiting to see if he will turn up in his birthday expecting what we had arranged. That is more of a question that is worthy of a answer....Why make a one night stand more complicated?? Why say things that ur not going to go thro with?? Men do tend to respect woman less that sleep with them so quickly but as long as there is that understanding there shouldnt be any problems... u cannot be dumped from a one night stand a one night stand is a one off end of. The story i have just written about is a very complicated one night stand. Which if i wasnt a very open minded female who has just come out of a 6 year relationship i would of had all sorts running thro my head and worrying about god knows what! The fact of the matter is what this bloke did was wrong and quite frankly one of these blokes that thinks they r gods gift. Men like that probably wouldnt have an explanation for what he said etc anyway. At the end of the day dont sleep with any man on 1st meet or date etc if u r not comfortable or thinking that u would like to see them again because u r setting urself up to fall. Most one night stands r drunken mistakes so bad sex and lack of respect doesnt even come into it...All i can say is u werent dumped u were never an item or anything. U was another notch on his bedpost i know that might sound bad to you but its true. What you have to ask yourself is what did you actually want out of it?? If u slept with the guy 1st time round then why was u expectiing there to be any repeat dates?? was it even discussed you would meet again? Lucy
A
female
reader, Fiona xxx +, writes (16 May 2008):
 It is often mutual the feeling of only wanting some fun for one night only. If both of you get a buzz from that, and there is no suggestion of anything more in advance, then there is no hurt and no dumping. If you see where I am coming from, nothing to be dumped from.
Believe me it is not only men who want a one night stand. By defenition, women want that too, or else it wouldn't happen.
For some reason, women are expected to only ever have one ever one night stand, and have regrets. Blame the man for seducing her etc etc. After all, if you didn't want the sex, you wouldn't have agreed to be with the guy!
I bet you got a buzz out of the situation really, you just don't want to admit it.
Don't feel bad, I am sure you knew what you were doing and wanted.
from Fiona
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A
male
reader, WastedLife  +, writes (2 May 2008):
I'm a guy, and this makes no sense. I really appreciate a woman that will have sex the first night, and I won't sleep with her unless she is someone that I really want to be with. The only times I have actually had a one night stand is where the woman didn't want a second night. Generally, I really appreciate that someone will sleep with me immediately and I get really connected to her. I don't care whether or not I get an orgasm as much as I care that she has a really good time, and I regard it as a love connection between us. The woman I have loved the most in my whole life is someone that seduced and slept with me immediately, and I love her to this day. We have known each other almost 20 years and though she left me after 4, we have been together off and on since then. I would marry her in a heartbeat if she would let me, but she doesn't want that. I have never liked the chase or the seduction game, and really just want someone that will be there - beautiful, hot, sexual, loving and intimate with no drama. And yes, I like sex AND intimacy at least as much as the next guy - maybe a lot more. And I love women who care enough to connect.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008): Probably because if they're willing to have a one night stand, they want sex and not a relationship! Otherwise you would have taken things more slowly.
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A
female
reader, PreciousNY +, writes (29 April 2008):
A guy will never see a "one night stand girl" again because if a girl is willing to sleep with him during the 1st day in which they met, he is going to tell himself that you are not worthy of a "relationship." And if you'd slept with him on the 1st night, you probably have with others before and will probably continue to do so. Men will view you as cheap and lack of respect for yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): If I don't see a girl after the first night, it is because I recognized things in what she said that I know I'd have problems with her later.
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A
male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (29 April 2008):
 If two people go into a one-night stand, that's basically it. You both wanted sex. Nobody said anything about a relationship.
But I can see how a discrepancy in expectations might arise.
For a guy, a one-night stand is purely for the sex. There is no expectation of any future relationship. For a woman, there may be expectations (rather unrealistic) that the relationship might continue if the sex was good.
Actually, I've been in a one-night stand with a woman where I was dumped. She was very open about going home for sex, and it was an amazing night (I came five times). I called her again after that, but never succeeded in getting another date, even though I really fancied one. For the fantastic sex, of course, but it could have led to more. In the end she just hung up when I called. So it's not necessarily only the man who dumps the woman.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): I think it is because that is all some guys want. They just want a "one night stand" as in one off sex just the once - nothing more. If women have one night stands and then expect more perhaps they are putting themselves up for dissapointment as if more followed than it wouldn't have been a one night stand!
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A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (29 April 2008):
 Hi,
I'm a little different. I never had a one night stand just for sex only. I never ever once turned down another offer (actually once I did but that WAS because the sex was so unbelievably bad) and more often than not would find that it was the girls who were just interested in the one night stand only.
I find it amazing that we humans treat each other so disdainfully, we can share an intimate moment with the full intention of ridding ourselves of that same person at the first opportunity - I have never been able to figure that out.
But I know I'm not like 99% of other people( including my wife), it is true one night stands are just that - for sex only. My wife always says that if we had sex the first night we met we would never have gotten married as she would only have been interested in the sex not me.
Your question about making a guy cum is no big deal I'm afraid. The unfortunate fact is , even with bad sex a guy can cum.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): I agree with Phil. I had a 1 night stand once in my life and that was all that I intended it to be from the start. Why didn't I do it again? Because I didn't feel very good about it and the sex wasn't nearly as good as it was with women who I wanted to have some kind of relationship with.
The 2 women who were my most memorable partners were my wife and another woman who I dated 28 years ago. I made no move to get them into bed on the first date, but I did on the 2nd date. I later discovered that my wife wanted to go to bed with me on the first date, but appreciated me for not trying. The other woman gave me signs that she wanted to have sex with me on the first date also. I did not disrespect either of these women because they wanted to have sex with me on the first date. I could have married either one of them. I did have trouble accepting my wife's previous behavior because of her previous one night stands that she picked up, not because she slept with a nice guy on the first date. Sometimes a woman is looking for affection and sex is her best ticket to try to find it. After a few failed tries, she realizes that sex is not a valid ticket to affection.
As Phil said, if you allow yourself to get picked up and taken to bed 2 hours later, you have to understand that 90% of the time the guy only wants sex from you. Maybe a few dates for fun and sex. Not always, but most of the time.
How long you hold out does not tell how good of a relationship you will have. If you have a date with a guy and are treated really nice and the guy doesn't just seem to want to drag you into the bedroom as soon as you get into the house, then sleep with him on the first or second date if that is what you really want. He may be after the same love and affection that you are after and not just out for sex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): A one night stand is a sort of challenge. Will she? Won't she? If she won't, well - let's give it another go in a couple of days time and see if we make any more progress. If she will, great. Empty the ol' ballbag into her and look for the next challenge.
For a bloke, there's no such thing as bad sex. It's all good. Amazing and mind blowing doesn't usually happen during a one night stand. It's just the mechanical act. Suck her tits, feel her up, a few ins and outs and blow your wad and that's it. Somewhat better than a wank.
Respect? One a one night stand? You've got to be kidding! It's a quick fuck, no more and no less. And thank you very much. And a bloke ALWAYS cums!
Can I assume you've been brushed aside after allowing some jerk to play with your body about two hours after you met him?
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 April 2008):
 I'm with Dusky, you are certainly long enough in the tooth to know the answers to your questions.
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (28 April 2008):
 Because women are cheap enough to put it on a plate without thinking about the consequences. If they want a long term relationship, then they have to respect themselves and hold out as long as possible, that way the guy does not get the wrong impression. Plus you are likely to catch STD, come on love you are old enough to know this surely!!!
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A
male
reader, rproctor +, writes (28 April 2008):
Lack of respect... In my opinion at least. If a girl sleeps with me after one night, the first question I ask myself is, wow, how many other blokes did she shag before me...
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (28 April 2008):
 You can't be dumped after a one night stand because there is nothing to be dumped from. By its very nature a one night stand is a one-shot deal.
Perhaps you mean why do men end a 'friend/courtship' once sex has happened?
Or why do men not continue a one night stand into a relationship.
Simple, because that is not what they are for.
Sex that made you cum? We are men, it got to be very bad indeed for us men not to cum. It is women who have troubles in this area, not men. If she is REALLY good of course we want more. But only on the same terms. In general you do not have one night stands with girls you are intrested in longterm. For that matter, guys looking for longterm relationships do not have one night stands.
Your mother was right, if you give the milk for free nobody is going to buy the cow.
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