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... Send *azyGuy a private message | | | *azyGuy's profile:I am 37 year old dutch male who used to think he was the mythical "nice guy" but realized that he really was just to lazy to be bad.
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| Latest articles: Men can't read women
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 March 2008: Slashdot is a geek site focussing mostly on tech. Relationship advice is not something you will find there, but this story just has to be mentioned. http://entertainment.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=08/03/30/0028211 http://www.livescience.co...
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What makes a guy try to pressure a girl into sex and think it's fine to not respect her boundaries??
Q. What makes a guy try to pressure a girl into sex? What makes a guy not listen to a girl when she says 'no'? What makes him think its ok to not respect her boundaires? And what makes a guy so controlling? I know those are all general questions, but ...
A. 30 May 2008: Animals can control their urges and humans are animals, but LJ001 probably puts it better.
For the guys that are like that, it WORKS! They want sex, they get it.
Why don't other guys do the same? Lots of reasons. Lower sexdrive, not wa... (read in full...)
My question is, is it intimidating to a guy to know that I am a virgin at 20? What would the first impression be?
Q. Alright heres the scoop: I am going to be a junior in college and I have never had a boyfriend nor have I kissed a guy. Honestly, there have been plenty of guys that have wanted to do stuff with me but I have not really liked any of them enough, ...
A. 30 May 2008: What would be intimidating about it?
What might be the case is that you are not an easy girl, you are waiting for Mr Right and apparenly not given in to any Mr Wrongs or Mr Maybes yet.
Mr Right won't be intimidated at all. Been on this site for... (read in full...)
Can a boy really change for a girl? Stop smoking, drinking, doing drugs etc?
Q. Can a boy really change for a girl? not look wise, but habbit wise, such as stop smoking, drinking and doing drugs and start trying to get a good education? i met a boy who i have known for 3 weeks, we are both 15 and he has told me he loves me a...
A. 30 May 2008: Easy answer, could you change for him? Start smoking and drinking, do drugs and drop out of school?
No? Then that is your answer.... (read in full...)
What makes a guy try to pressure a girl into sex and think it's fine to not respect her boundaries??
Q. What makes a guy try to pressure a girl into sex? What makes a guy not listen to a girl when she says 'no'? What makes him think its ok to not respect her boundaires? And what makes a guy so controlling? I know those are all general questions, but ...
A. 30 May 2008: Because it works.
The simple fact is that if you are one of those losers who stops when the girls says no and respects her limits you end up not having a lot of sex, or indeed any.
Trust me on this, I am one of those losers.
But I got a que... (read in full...)
I never have an orgasm. Is he really having one?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have now been having sex for about two months. Each time he cums but i never have an orgasm. Is there anyways to help this, as i enjoy it but i want to orgasm. does it help the guy if i orgasm? Also is cuming a guys orgasm a...
A. 29 May 2008: Men are often more silent, even porn movies don't pretend men make a lot of noise.
If he cums, he has had an orgasm, men can't fake it. Not all orgasms are equally intense.
When a female orgasms one of the effects is that her vaginal muscles ... (read in full...)
How many couples out there break up because of some silly quarrel? I've never let him down, why isn't that enough?
Q. i wonder how many couples out there break up cuz of some silly quarrel, or just one party got too tired of trying, or is it due to personality clashes, or a misalignment in core beliefs.....Let's not talk about obvious deal-breakers like cheating, ...
A. 29 May 2008: So, did this relationship end for any of the reasons you mention? Because I don't think you really care about other couples, you are wondering why HE broke up with YOU.
In fact you seem to claims that this is not the first time and that you neve... (read in full...)
How can he move on like that and just stop caring?
Q. I am a married woman for about 4yrs i have two children and i am having an affair with a man who has been married for 18yrs and has two children as well. We both work together this is his part time job he works full time during the day elsewhere. We ...
A. 28 May 2008: Simple, exactly the same way you stopped caring about your husband.... (read in full...)
I've chased men away before, now I'm interested in a new guy and need some advice!
Q. I really need some advice on my problem. Well, Im 24 and Ive got good job and lots of friends and Im pretty. But Im single. Now, when I meet boys I like, inside my head Im telling myself to play it cool, but my actions and words do exactly the o...
A. 28 May 2008: Depends on the guy, one size most definitely does NOT fit all. We all find different things attractive and what works for one might be a complete turn-off for the next.
If the way you describe yourself is accurate then you are a bit of a catch, a... (read in full...)
Any tips on how to give oral? I've been trying for years!
Q. i want to give my husband oral sex but every time i put his penis in my mouth i start to gag and i dont like the feeling. i have been trying for years to give him oral does any one have any tips how to over come this problem i have as i really want ...
A. 28 May 2008: What makes you gag? Is it the smell, taste, the mere idea of it or just having something that massive (please, don't correct me, fragile male ego present) in your mouth?
Smell and taste might be corrected with a shower or a change in his diet. If... (read in full...)
When people have sex is it more intercourse or oral?
Q. when people have sex do they usually practice more intercourse or oral?...
A. 28 May 2008: Depends on the what we are in the mood for.
Go with the flow, not a check-list is my approach. ... (read in full...)
Why wont he stop looking at porn, I've bought all his favourite stuff, so why is he still doing it?
Q. I am 18 curently married to a 22 yr old and I just had our 6 week year old daughter. When my husband and i first got together there was never an issue of porn. But for the past 8 months he has been looking at porn every 2 or 3 days constantly ...
A. 28 May 2008: Might he be reacting badly to the whole pregnancy and birth? It is well known that women go through a lot emotionally but the men are often forgotten.
8 months would put the start of the porn roughly a bit after you found out your pregnant... (read in full...)
Why's he behaving like such an arsehole?
Q. My boyfriend of 1 1/2 years broke up with me last week because he "suddenly" realized that I have a son and he didn't want to be a part of it. He has made some sorry excuses in the past for pushing me away, but then he always comes back with the ...
A. 28 May 2008: Isn't the real question why you are putting up with it?
It is important since he can only behave like an asshole if you let him. I don't think this is about your kid, after all he must have known, but that the kid is just an excuse for jerking ... (read in full...)
This lad at college has recorded a very private conversation! What can we do? He's going to stir things up!
Q. I'll start from the beginning, best place to start. This all happened about a week ago. I'm currently at college. Me, and two other girls were sitting at lunch, having a big girly chat and eating. A lad we know came along and asked us to keep...
A. 27 May 2008: Well, if you got the balls, you could talk to him and tell him you are going to the police with this unless he hands over the phone and his PC to you and allows you to destroy its memory and harddisk.
If he does not, report him, what he did is a... (read in full...)
I'm furious with my boyfriend for the way he broke up with me!
Q. I'm so hurt. So, so hurt. My boyfriend and i got back together yesterday. We had a faboulous time! He had broken up with me because of things from the past. But we got back together and spent most of the day together. Then, at night, he got up...
A. 27 May 2008: He got issues, maybe he is really jealous?
Not that it really matters what causes it but a guy who wishes you death for anything ESPECIALLY something as trivial as this is not worth it.
Read your own post. First he slams you for changing you... (read in full...)
Did I scare him off by being so blunt?
Q. I have a guy friend/aquaintance who I have always really liked and had a crush on. I go to college away from home so I dont see him that much but when im home we hang out. Then he called me just to talk and that is kind of unusual for him. One night ...
A. 27 May 2008: It sounds like he was just after you for the possibility of sex.
You didn't scare him off, just found out what he was really after.
That he now got a gf doesn't mean a thing, he didn't want a relationship with you because he did not have rom... (read in full...)
A guy asked me to watch a film with me...does this mean he likes me?
Q. Heyy. So this guy asked me to watch a film at the same time as him. I know this sounds silly but its sounds like something out of a love story watching things at the same time. Does he like me ? hurtagen xx...
A. 27 May 2008: Depends on the movie I suppose but most likely he at least cares that you watch the same movie he likes. How much he likes you that is for you to find out but he certainly sees you as a friend and maybe more.
And it is out of "When Harry met Sall... (read in full...)
Would I be going too far with this cross dressing roleplay?
Q. Hi,my boyfriend and I have got into where I transform him into my girlfriend,we both enjoy it and the sex is GREAT.I have the chance to borrow a friends house for a long weekend and wonder if I should kidnap my boyfriend/girlfriend and keep him/her ...
A. 27 May 2008: Just one tip, make sure NOBODY else could possibly think that what is happening is real. You keep getting stories (because the press loves smut) about couples doing this kind of thing and the police being called.
The cops don't always see the funn... (read in full...)
Are all these horny feelings normal?
Q. i am 14 years old and lately i have been rrly horny and i finger my self and i force my self to pee in bed and i hump pillows and i dream about makingout and have sex with this guy i like who is 16 is this normal and if not how do i make it stop...
A. 26 May 2008: There is no such thing as "normal". The best you can hope for is life you life in a way that makes you happy that also allows you to function in our society.
If your feelings ain't getting in the way of your school, social life etc etc then the... (read in full...)
Should I ask my friend to help me lose my virginity?
Q. I'll be turning 32 in a few days. I am still a virgin in just about every imaginable sense (I've never even french-kissed). This is something I am supremely self-conscious about. I also have an anxiety problem which tends to leave me more fearful ...
A. 26 May 2008: You are going to put her into a very difficult position. Is she at least single and the type to see sex as something you do with someone you are not romantically interested in?
Even if she broke you in, then what? You would still be the same per... (read in full...)
My new husband says I'm mental, am I ?
Q. Hi, I am recently married and I need some advice as to how to stor the rows that are happening in it. It's not so much the rows but the escallation of them. For example today my husband asked my opinion on a carton of milk that had been left in his ...
A. 26 May 2008: Well, we got ourselves a control freak of a husband and a woman who is letting him.
I think he wants a mommy more then a partner, the whole milk thing already sounds odd enough. If you think milk is spoiled then you just poor some out and SEE if i... (read in full...)
Are attractive women expected to be more aggressive with men than normal?
Q. Are attractive women expected to be more aggressive with men than normal? Most women love to be chased, so are we intimidating to men, or what's the deal?...
A. 26 May 2008: I presume you are an attractive woman and are noticing a lack of chasing?
Might be two reasons. Often people that know they look good act with a certain arrogance. Although that really is to strong a word. Perhaps confidence is better. The prob... (read in full...)
I have thought of asking my BF to shower with me and get him to masturbate me with the shower jet. Guys, do you find this odd?
Q. This question may be a little odd for some people, but I was just wondering how many women out there have used the vibrate setting on a shower head to masturbate... I discovered this on accident when i was washing this area and once i tried it,...
A. 26 May 2008: As a guy, well old-geezer but I think I can remember being a guy, no I wouldn't find it odd at all. Hot yes. Odd no.
There is just one fly in the ointment. You are waiting with sex until you are married? Fine enough, but that spells "religio... (read in full...)
I have a really high sex drive...but my boyfriend thinks I'm not going to be able to orgasm when I get older!!! Is he right?
Q. im worried. I'm 17 years old, and i have had two sexual parteners. my ex boyfriend and my current boyfriend of a year and a half. he thinks there is something wrong with me. I have slept with only two people, and he has slept with about 6, s...
A. 22 May 2008: Right...
Well it happens you know. Had I known that eating all that icecream and chocolat would wear out my taste buds, I would never have eaten them, now I can't taste a thing.
I also regret going to Australia. Great sights, but sadly they w... (read in full...)
How do I tell my daughter's boyfriend that I don't want to date his father?
Q. Hi, I'm a single mom with 2 grown kids and a teenaged daughter still at home. My daughter has boyfriend who is a great kid. I love him dearly. He is so nice and good to my daughter a real cutie. I would never in a million years want to hurt his f...
A. 22 May 2008: Well a crude way, suggest that if you two got together and married, your daughter would have a brother she really really likes.
... (read in full...)
My job is to chat to other men online - but my Bf dumped me for it!
Q. Another question.... Can someone please inform me of why my BF of almost 6 yrs all of a sudden thinks I have an addiction to being a X rated chathost, when he has known from day one what I do for $$. I also have been working in his office for almo...
A. 21 May 2008: Bit confused, you work in his office but also as a chathost to earn an income, he doesn't pay you?
Yet you also claim you need to money from chatting because you ain't got a job and no bf (by which I take it you mean that the BF would support ... (read in full...)
I made some mistakes which made him break up with me, and now he's been mean and very hurtful
Q. How can I hate someone who clearly doesn't love me anymore? I made some mistakes which made him break up with me, and now he's been mean and very hurtful, often disregarding my hurt when he says ulgy things or calls me names. It all was beca...
A. 21 May 2008: Were these mistakes part of your relationship with him OR were they before that?
If they did not affect him directly, which is what I am guessing (let me guess, your "past" is that you slept with more men then he is comfortable with) then he is sh... (read in full...)
Any tips to induce childbirth so my beloved dying grandmother can see her first great grandchild? It would mean so much to me!
Q. I am pregnant with my first child. However my grandmother who is the most important person to me in my life is dying. There is nothing more in this world that I want than for my gran to see my child when it is born....but the way things are looking ...
A. 20 May 2008: Are you fucking kidding me? What is it today, another post by a woman who wants to keep her baby small for fear of its size... there REALLY should be a mental exam before people are allowed to reproduce.
Induce childbirth SEVERAL months early on... (read in full...)
Is it unusual to still be a virgin at 21?
Q. Hi, I'm just wondering if this is unusual to still be a virgin at 21. I am quite shy and haven't had yet any boyfriend or girlfriend whatsoever. I planned an appointment to the GYN since they say you should go once you reach the age of 21 but...
A. 20 May 2008: 50% looses their virginity before the age of 18. Okay, so this statistic is made up on the spot BUT you often read studies that say something like that.
Read carefully and see that this ALSO means the 50% do NOT loose their virginity before t... (read in full...)
Are there any women who dislike having their man's semen in their mouth?
Q. Are there any women who dislike having their man's semen in their mouth? Has anyone ever gagged on it? How do you get past the taste and texture? I really want to try, but whenever a little gets in, I gag. It's strictly from the above mentioned ...
A. 20 May 2008: Perhaps being to much of a male for this but if you don't like the taste, why not use a condom? If you two haven't been together long you should be using one anyway and you can keep going without tasting it.... (read in full...)
We met via on line dating, is it too soon to ask if he has other dates in parallel? We have been intimate already.
Q. I recently met a guy on an on-line dating site. We have been dating for a couple of months and sleeping together as well. Out of curiosity, I went on the site to see when he was last on-line, and it was TODAY. How do I approach him about this? I ...
A. 20 May 2008: Just one thing to consider. Did you login to see when he was last on the site? Then congrats, your were last online on this dating site when you have been dating for MONTHS, TODAY!
Maybe, just maybe he was doing exactly the same thing you were?
... (read in full...)
Sex with 67 men in the past, is that high or low in your opinion?
Q. My wife had sex with 67 men before me...is that number too high or low for a woman?...
A. 20 May 2008: An interesting study a while ago made a correlation between intelligence/education and sexual activity. The higher educated/more intelligent a person, the less they were into sexual activity (not sex itself, but more sleeping around etc).
I at ... (read in full...)
My husband thinks my vibrators are "dirty things" and he doesn't sleep with me
Q. My husband and I have been together 3 years, married 8 months of those. We have 2 young children, my husband was very very keen to have a family hence why we had one so soon plus he is 10 years older than me. For the first 6 months, sex was ...
A. 20 May 2008: Is he really masturbating? If he is then it ain't his libido that is the problem.
He could be suffering from performance anxiety? Has he "failed" in the past?
The idea I am almost getting is the Michael Jackson story, you know how he suddenly ... (read in full...)
He wants naked pictures of me
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for a little over 2 months. Its a long distance relationship. To be honest Ive never met him before yet. He is a friend of mines boyfriends brother. We enjoy talking to each other everynight for more than 4 hours. We just ...
A. 20 May 2008: Manon Thomas. Who is she? Just a dutch television personality. Somehow a video and pictures of her ended up on the net. Her claim was that they were stolen of her computer. Someone was arrested.
So, a nude video and some nude shots and goodbye ... (read in full...)
What is spooning??
Q. What is spooning, and why do people seem to make such a big deal out of it?...
A. 19 May 2008: Spooning is just one person hugging the other from behind, lying on their side. Like two spoons stacked together.
It can be sexual, but I know it most from a sleeping/cuddling position.
What is so special about it? It is very intimate yet com... (read in full...)
Would pregancy via a second cousin risk a deformed child?
Q. I need to know if I fall pregnant by my second cousin would the baby be ok or could the baby have health problems...
A. 19 May 2008: If you really worry about that so much then of course you have never ever drunk a single drop of alcohol in your entire life. You kill smokers before they get within 100 meters of you. You only eat organic food, exactly the right balance. Are ... (read in full...)
If you are married a crush should stay a crush and not be taken any further right?
Q. An old friend of mine (NOT a boyfriend!!!) said that he thinks that nowadays it is common expectation that a crush -- even one felt by a married man!!! -- should end up "consummated" whereas years ago this wasn't true. I think this is terrible and ...
A. 19 May 2008: You are both right. It all depends on what social circles you move in.
As for marriage being sacred, plenty of people feel that even just dating should be exclusive. Where do you draw the line, that all depends on your own feelings.
For ins... (read in full...)
How come you don't hear stories of people who have cheated but changed and sorted it out?
Q. how come you dont hear stories about people who have cheated in a relationship and have changed for the best and there partner accept them back as a different person? ...
A. 18 May 2008: Two reasons: A. It doesn't happen. B. Happy people who sort out their problems on their own don't post on sites like this. Probably a mix of both.... (read in full...)
Scared of being alone. What is wrong with me?
Q. I'm a 25 year old female who only has had a few kisses and that has never had a boyfriend. It is becoming more and more terrifying to face loneliness and I'm really scared that I will end up my life alone without being able to form a family. I ha...
A. 17 May 2008: As always, there is a standard bit of advice for meeting people.
Go and find something you enjoy doing that involves other people. When you are doing something you enjoy with others it becomes easy to break the ice by just talking about your mut... (read in full...)
I felt bad for not indulging his anal fantasies and that he also has erection problems
Q. Okay, here's the thing...he has NO problems getting it up the first time. Actually, it's great sex. The second time, a while later...it's really hard to get him...well, hard. The only things that seem to turn him on is 69 or the idea of him doin...
A. 17 May 2008: An erection can't be rushed. Most guys around your age shouldn't have to much trouble getting it up a second time but we are all different and the less fit and the older you get, the less the erection especially 2nd or 3rd time.
Now as for grav... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to have a vibrator at 16?
Q. I'm sixteen and I'm a virgin. I plan to stay a virgin for a long time. I'm writing this because I have simple question to ask. My mother doesn't want me to talk to boys and I've told her that I wouldn't Now the dating/sex age for my family is ...
A. 17 May 2008: Vibrators don't give you STD's, babies or a reputation.
So my answer is, no.
No reason to feel guilty either, if everyone who masturbates feels guilty about it we are going to have an awful lot of miserable people walking around.
Mastu... (read in full...)
I need immediate help.. please! I'm being blackmailed!
Q. I need immediate help, please. Before I explain my situation, I just want the people to know that I'm not really.. 'this' kind of a person. I don't know why I acted this way, and now I'm paying the price for my stupidity. I've always been independ...
A. 16 May 2008: Sorry, yes I mis-read. Posted too soon but my excuse is that I want to get across that you really need to talk to the police. Quickly.
This guy really sounds dangerous. The bit about him leaving a note on your door is scary as hell.
Please,... (read in full...)
My sister gave me oral
Q. I woke up the other night to my own sister giving me a blow job! I thought I was dreaming it. I woke up I asked her to stop, but she said you must like it as I was ready to complete. She had been drinking I think. She is 5 years older than me. I...
A. 16 May 2008: If it was the other way around I would immediately suggest informing the police. Double standards eh?
Maybe it is because once you woke up you could easily stop her physically. Just beat the crap out of her.
But still, it is disturbing how d... (read in full...)
I need immediate help.. please! I'm being blackmailed!
Q. I need immediate help, please. Before I explain my situation, I just want the people to know that I'm not really.. 'this' kind of a person. I don't know why I acted this way, and now I'm paying the price for my stupidity. I've always been independ...
A. 16 May 2008: This guy sounds dangerous. Really dangerous and I suggest you waste no time in going to the police with everything you got as evidence and tell them the whole story.
Yes, this means your parents will find out about it. The police most likely w... (read in full...)
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