| Latest articles: On relationships: The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 July 2011: The following was forwarded to me by a member of my church. It is adapated from a book: "Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work" I believe its worth passing on: "Dr. John gottman can predict with 96% accuracy within the first three minu...
A few things I've learned......
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 November 2010: Often we get posts from men and women who are wondering whether to ask their boyfriend or girlfriend "where do we stand"? Based on my own observations, and having been in situations such as this in the past, I have come to think its generally ...
|
I've just discovered my boyfriend has female friends he texts
Q. Hi people as i live with my boyfriend for over a year, i just thought to use his fone to txt one of my friends then i relaised that he has girls as friends that he never told me abut and they been texting for awhile and im not sure whether to tell ...
A. 24 October 2010: This is Denise32 again. So you see, from what the other aunts have said, you may very well have nothing to worry about!... (read in full...)
I've just discovered my boyfriend has female friends he texts
Q. Hi people as i live with my boyfriend for over a year, i just thought to use his fone to txt one of my friends then i relaised that he has girls as friends that he never told me abut and they been texting for awhile and im not sure whether to tell ...
A. 24 October 2010: I think you should let him know you found texts from him to other girls and see how he responds. Its not as if you were deliberately snooping to see what you could discover, after all.
True, it would have been better if he had told you he was d... (read in full...)
After arguements my best friend refuses to talk to me!
Q. if any body can give a good advice..i havent talk to the girl who has been my bestfriend for years..she said said she doenst know when she will talk me.. we had arguments but i dont think they were that strong to send our friendship to the ...
A. 24 October 2010: Oh dear, this is very hard for you, isn't it?
I'm afraid that her telling you she doesn't know when she'll talk to you means she has no intention of ever resuming your friendship again, but she's hiding behind a sort of smokescreen instead ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't she want our relationship to be 'official'
Q. My best friend and I lost our virginities to each other back in the beginning of June right after we graduated from high school. Yes, she is a girl and yes, I am a guy. Anyway, she asked me if I'd be okay with taking her virginity considering she ...
A. 24 October 2010: It SOUNDS as if she certainly enjoys having sex with you, BUT doesn't want to make it known to others and in public because she does not want to be "tied down" to you at this stage.
I'm really sorry to have to tell you so - and I could be mista... (read in full...)
What to do when your boyfriend comments on his ex's picture?
Q. Ok, so my boyfriend and I have been together for a month and 9 days so far. He already told me he loved me and i told him i love him too, but yesterday i found out that he commented on some other girls picture. Its not the fact that he commented ...
A. 23 October 2010: Sorry, but I have to say 'AMEN" to what CaringGuy has written.
My dear, you can do - and deserve - MUCH better than this boy!... (read in full...)
I slept with a prostitue and it wrecked my love and wrecked my life
Q. 4 months ago, the girl I love broke up with me, justifiably, because I hurt her. We had met whilst both studying the same course, and when we got together, she had already been besotted with me for some time. We we're together for about a year, and ...
A. 23 October 2010: There IS, believe it or not, something very good in this sad tale of messed-up, deluded and irresponsible behavior and mutual hurt.
What is it? That you realize how foolish, wrong and misguided your actions were. That means you now have the chan... (read in full...)
My mom is a cougar! How do I get over it?
Q. So heres the story. Im 16 and my name is Candace. I'm inique, pretty and fun to be around and hilarious, and I get that from my mom. I haven't seen or talked to my real dad in years. (i dont miss him at all). My mom remarried and had a son with my ...
A. 23 October 2010: Well yes, I'm sure this is very hard for you to take.
She's your Mom, the person who gave birth to you and brought you up. You don't expect your mother to be hooking up with a 19 year old.......maybe you were thinking of him as a possible... (read in full...)
Need help with break up due to boyfriend's depression.
Q. To anyone especially Mr. Ed: When my boyfriend broke up with about 3 weeks ago he said he needed time and space and I wasn’t giving it to him which I wasn’t every time I feel like I am going to lose something I start to go crazy and try to do an...
A. 21 October 2010: Good for you! Leaving him be at this time IS in fact supporting him and the most caring act you can do for him.
Be comforted: I suspect he DOES know how much you care about him, and appreciates it - even if he is not able to tell you so right no... (read in full...)
My ex is damaging my new relationship
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up a while ago and I found someone new who makes me happy and my ex is keep calling and texting me all the time I don't respond to any of it but when he first did this I told him to stop and leave me alone but obviously it ...
A. 21 October 2010: Turkishsabre: Yes, being dumped is never easy to take for the one who is given the bad news......unless of course he also felt it really wasn't working and basically wanted it to end anyway......
It's always best to talk over any problems... (read in full...)
My long distance relationship has problems.
Q. I have been in this relationship for 11/2 yrs. We were in a distant relationshp 2 hrs. He was trying hard and took turns traveling to see each other. I had been going through my own thing, graduated from college and could not find a job for 8 ...
A. 21 October 2010: Excellent advice from Rescuer!
Congratulations on your new job, and I do wish you all the best and hope everything works out. If (and it sounds as if it is) your relationship is basically sound, then it really will be alright........by the way,... (read in full...)
Why would my boyfriend do that? am really hurt:
Q. my boyfriend has been chattinng to this girl who likes him.. shes been really flirty with him. i saw her text messages yesterday and i replied back to her.. i asked my bf he said i have nothing to worry about and that i have no idea how ...
A. 21 October 2010: Well, it looks to me as if you have basically two choices here: one is to accept what he says about her being no more than a friend and request that if he continues to send her texts that he not respond in a "flirty" manner. In other words to see ... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend like his ex's butt better?
Q. Ok i am totally aware as to how ridiculous this is but omg help!! So im in a long distance relationship, been with him now for 2 years (both our longest relationships so far)and we see each other not often but atleast take 3 holidays per yea...
A. 21 October 2010: Sorry, but this is ridculous. Particularly since everything appears to be going well with your boyfriend.
Haven't you got anything better to worry about? If not, for pity's sake, let it go!!... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend like his ex's butt better?
Q. Ok i am totally aware as to how ridiculous this is but omg help!! So im in a long distance relationship, been with him now for 2 years (both our longest relationships so far)and we see each other not often but atleast take 3 holidays per yea...
A. 21 October 2010: Sorry, but this is ridculous. Particularly since everything appears to be going well with your boyfriend.
Haven't you got anything better to worry about? If not, for pity's sake, let it go!!... (read in full...)
With someone but getting old feelings back for someone else, what should I do?
Q. I cheated on my boyfriend a bit ago, and he forgave me and we're very happy. But the guy i cheated on him with is still in my life. We're friends and what not. Just friends though. But i'm getting my old feelings back from him. But i love my ...
A. 21 October 2010: Decide whether you want to be with your boyfriend or the other fella. If you want your bf you need to stop being friendly with the other one.
Either that, or break up with them both and be single for a while........ (read in full...)
Is it because I saw him with someone else that I'm starting to really think about him more?
Q. A few months ago i dated a guy around my age. It didnt last long and it sort of drifted apart. I regularly see his sister in law and she keeps me up to date on if hes ok ect. Last weekend i went to her partner's (his brother) 21st party and he ...
A. 21 October 2010: Well now. You don't know if this is a new girlfriend that he has acquired, or just someone he took to the party as a date, do you?
Maybe you could talk to his sister-in-law and see what she says. If the other woman was a casual date, there mi... (read in full...)
Need help with break up due to boyfriend's depression.
Q. To anyone especially Mr. Ed: When my boyfriend broke up with about 3 weeks ago he said he needed time and space and I wasn’t giving it to him which I wasn’t every time I feel like I am going to lose something I start to go crazy and try to do an...
A. 21 October 2010: I know this was a horrible shock for you and you are in anguish over it. It's to your credit that you recognize that your own neediness and desperation not to lose him is a large part of the problem.
He badly needed you to be there for him at t... (read in full...)
He's texting me but screwing someone else!
Q. I'm really annoyed cos i like this guy and we text each other every night, we seemed to get on well but i found out that he's screwing another girl. do guys do that... text other girls while sleeping with another one? Is he a pig? Should i w...
A. 20 October 2010: If "they" are rats (and that's an insult to rodents, by the way!) they do.
Don't send him any more texts and delete any he sends you. You really are better off without this one........ (read in full...)
Afraid that he'll run again -- how to play this?
Q. I meet a guy a week and half ago on a dating site. in his profile he said he is looking for long term have a family etc . so we went out and after that he was all over me, sending cute text msgs, hanging out every other day saying how pretty i was ...
A. 20 October 2010: I must say I wholeheartedly agree with jtmj and quiet-echo.
You have known him only a week and half. You say you're totally into him and want him to be yours.
With all due respect, I submit to you that this is MUCH much too soon to be think... (read in full...)
I cheated and now I need advice!
Q. So I am actually not the "victim" here, I am the one who did the cheating. I am 17 years old and have been dating this girl for the past month, and I really truly care about her. However, I was drunk and made out with another girl while on vacation ...
A. 30 August 2010: Well, you have "confessed" to us that you cheated. Hopefully now you will be better able to forgive yourself, and it sounds as though you have learned your lesson. Is there any chance the girl you had sex with might attempt to contact you, or does ... (read in full...)
Living with somebody's bad karma
Q. I feel Like I'm in this incredibly complicated situation.. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years and there always has been a presence of a women from his past. I'm in my mid 30's and my BF is in his early 50s. We both been ...
A. 30 August 2010: Is continuing with this man really worth it?
You sound very dissatisfied with the situation - and you have reason to be. I can't understand why in the world he doesn't want his work colleagues to know about you. Unless he's afraid they'd t... (read in full...)
I wan't her back, I miss her!
Q. Ok I meet this girl online about 2 yrs ago. In I gave here my phone number in she called me up. After that we started to talk for a long time. Like for 2 yrs stright. When I meet her she had a boyfriend but she broke up with him after a 8yr ...
A. 29 August 2010: How come her parents did not know you were in touch with their daughter? To say nothing of her letting them know you planned to visit? Does she live with them?
Having to "be careful about her mom and dad" added unnecessary stress to your vis... (read in full...)
The older I get the less I want a partner and kids - is there something wrong with me
Q. I'm 25 years old, with a good steady job and a small close network of friends. I have been single for well over a 3 years now - I have tried online dating since this and Ive meet up with a few people but just lately im just not impressed with what i ...
A. 29 August 2010: The main thing is is whether you are happy or at least satisfied with your life at this point.
It really doesn't matter what other people think: YOU are the one inside your own skin. So long as you know what you want and what your values a... (read in full...)
What does it mean when one person hates you one minute then loves you the next?
Q. What does it mean when someone is so mean to you one minute and then loves you and wants to see you the next? This same person always seems to come in and out of my life...
A. 26 August 2010: I think TimmD may well be right about the person having serious mental and emotional problems.
Or, at the very least, the individual you speak of is very manipulative and not to be trusted........... (read in full...)
He said if I sleep with him he will trust me!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend on and off for the past year and a bit. I have known him for a total of 9 years. We have been in and out of touch over our friendship. About 2-3 years ago we become closer and I hooked up with a good friend of his ...
A. 26 August 2010: It all sounds very complicated. You say you lied to him, and you or he broke up; then you got together with a friend of his, and when that ended you ex eventually got back in touch with you.
Now your ex is telling you that if you'll sleep wi... (read in full...)
I'm in love with a gay man!
Q. I am not exactly sure how to ask this question. I have become extrememly close to a co worker of mine. We just instantly clicked from the beginning. I absolutely love him. He is gay, but I was wondering is there certain degrees of being gay. I ...
A. 26 August 2010: You know, it really doesn't matter whether he is "partly gay"; bisexual or heterosexual.
The facts are: he has been/is in a committed relationship with another man 15 years and you have a husband.
You CAN'T be "completely in love with him", ... (read in full...)
Am I just insecure, or is he hiding something?
Q. well I've been involved with this guy for like a year and a half but have known him for almost 3 years.. ive wanted him since before we were together and i love him very much but im not sure if he loves me like he says he does.. it has been such a ...
A. 25 August 2010: Well,you're certainlyt being quite paranoid, you know......who are these girls who keep trying to tell you things about him so that you'll break up? Do they know something you don't: Or do they think you're making a mistake in dating him, or are ... (read in full...)
Was he only acting this way to get me into bed?
Q. I could really do with a few questions answering, as I'm driving myself crazy and getting really upset. I'm 18 and upto a month ago, I'd not kissed a guy, had a proper boyfriend and obviously hadn't had sex. This used to frustrate me every single ...
A. 23 August 2010: It sounds as if the main reason for his interest in you was to have sex with you. He didn't want you to feel uncomfortable, though, and that's why he said the two of you could go out somewhere. (and yes, telling you you're gorgeous is a way of ... (read in full...)
Should I buy a small Christmas gift for him just in case....
Q. I'm leaving for London the week after next for six weeks, so won't be on the site very much.......looking forward to seeing family and friends (maybe even a couple of old school chums I haven't seen for years!) The friend I communicate with...
A. 23 August 2010: Thanks, OlderSister! I think what you suggest is the best way to go. I am taking a bar of Ghiradelli chocolate to give him when I get there as a small gift - but that's no more than I'd do for my Mother or a woman friend anyway......
I must adm... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is not doing a very good job at staying in contact!
Q. My boyfriend isn't doing a very good job of keeping in touch with me besides texting after he went to college. How should I let him know we need to try something better?...
A. 23 August 2010: Well, you could just let him know you miss hearing from him........however, he's now at college, and he most likely is very busy getting settled in and beginning to immerse himself in his classes and studies......he will be meeting lots of new ... (read in full...)
Why would anyone think this is okay?
Q. Why would anyone think that it is okay to start off a marriage with a huge lie regarding past betrayal??? I've been reading people's responses to questions regarding cheating, and am specifically perplexed that anyone would think that it is OK for ...
A. 22 August 2010: I'm not saying it is okay to lie about the past. In fact, I believe I did write that I'd expect anyone I was dating would talk about his ex-wife or gf(s) sooner or later as part of him (and me) letting one another know what sort of people we are.
... (read in full...)
Opinions on what true love is?
Q. what is true love?...
A. 22 August 2010: Q1605, yes, that's right. You don't stop caring for someone when the relationship has ended. You still want the best for them, especially when they once meant so much.
I'm not in contact with any of my ex's; and I'm widowed, so it doesn't ... (read in full...)
I want to show him things can be better this time but how do I do that???
Q. My bf and I broke up last week, because we were bickering too much. I wanted to work it out and he didnt so he said he was done, i have this feeling though that hes just taking what he thinks is the easy way out and he will realize it later on that ...
A. 22 August 2010: Did you - or someone like you - post about this same issue a week or so ago? sounds awfully familiar.
Anyway, I'll tell you what I told the other poster: namely, YOU may think he's making a mistake and want to convince him the bickering (I'm sur... (read in full...)
How do we tackle the disagreements before we marry?
Q. Hi I am due to get married in 3 months time and am getting anxious that me and my finace have different expectations about what marriage will mean to us. We have recently bought a house together, but I feel he is constantly testing the boun...
A. 22 August 2010: Well........this is the reason for getting engaged. Engagements are a time of testing, determining how serious you are about marriage and seeing how you will (or won't) "rub along together."
It's more intense and serious than just dating. ... (read in full...)
Opinions on what true love is?
Q. what is true love?...
A. 22 August 2010: Interesting - and on-target - answers.
I think a couple who have known one another many years and are happy, because each has the other's best interests at heart and values the different (from himself/herself) qualities each brings to the marriage... (read in full...)
Why would anyone think this is okay?
Q. Why would anyone think that it is okay to start off a marriage with a huge lie regarding past betrayal??? I've been reading people's responses to questions regarding cheating, and am specifically perplexed that anyone would think that it is OK for ...
A. 22 August 2010: I have not seen the posts have read (or are referring to).
But, I can state categorically that not one of the various aunts and uncles on here would EVER say that its alright to deceive someone by deliberating misleading them with the intent t... (read in full...)
Should I talk to my FWB about a possible title on our relationship?
Q. so i've been seeing this guy for about 9 months now. we started off as friends with benefits, but its more then that. we hang out constantly, and we dont see other people. we always have fun. and at first, he used to always kiss me when dropping me ...
A. 21 August 2010: It SOUNDS as though he wants to avoid discussing your relationship at all costs.
Why? Most likely because he doesn't want to take it any further and doesn't want to commit, either.......I could be reading it wrong, but right off hand, that's m... (read in full...)
I like my friends boyfriend, what do I do?
Q. i fell in love with my friends boyfriend. and well at first i didnt even know i liked him like that but something made me realise i like him as more then a friend. (btw all my freinds and family and even HIM knew i liked him before I EVEN knew) and ...
A. 21 August 2010: What the "freak" (geez, lady) are you supposed to do?
This girl is supposed to be your friend. No wonder she is jealous and may well hate you. Whatever the problems with her boyfriend, I can't say I blame her. She has plenty of reason to be an... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if I should meet this guy alone or not.
Q. I'm not sure if i should meet this guy alone or not. My friend must have told him about me, my friend is female, by the way, because she said he kept asking her to ask me to meet up with them both. she also said that he really likes me, and he said ...
A. 21 August 2010: Well, its actually quite complimentary that he seems keen on you and is looking forward to meeting you........but, if you feel too uncomfortable, and don't like that he and your friend are comparing "notes" about you, maybe you should just cancel. ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if I should meet this guy alone or not.
Q. I'm not sure if i should meet this guy alone or not. My friend must have told him about me, my friend is female, by the way, because she said he kept asking her to ask me to meet up with them both. she also said that he really likes me, and he said ...
A. 20 August 2010: Get omething to eat within walking distance of the train station would be a good idea......if he insists on driving to a restaurant, keep your celll phone turned on and be prepared to call the police, IF necessary......but first, in his hearing, ... (read in full...)
Will he ever come back? I'm devastated and any advice would help
Q. Me and my ex had an awesome relationship although we moved into it too fast, im 18 he just turned 23. We dated for 3 months and were together everyday and i slept at his house almost every night he would come over and hang out with my parents and he ...
A. 19 August 2010: I understand that you are very upset about the breakup, but the fact is you DO have issues - and so does he: his bad temper- AND yours; the fact that you both drink a lot (not a good idea unless you want to risk liver damage later in life - I'm not ... (read in full...)
How do I ask her on a date?
Q. dear cupid i do fancy this woman that lives in the same street as me how do i approach her. it a long time since i went out with a woman. she is single like me but a bit younger than me....
A. 18 August 2010: Good! Enjoy.......... (read in full...)
I'm completely in love with my BF... but I can't stop hooking up with other men!!
Q. Sorry for the long comment- I've been dating my boyfriend for two years now and i'm completely inlove with him- i think. when i think about him it's wonderful, and i love kissing him and he has the sweetest eyes. The problem is that i often ...
A. 18 August 2010: I'm with person12345 here. Listen to her.
My only other comment is don't tell us you can't help it - you CAN help it!!! and if you value your bf as much as you say you do, you WILL!... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if I should meet this guy alone or not.
Q. I'm not sure if i should meet this guy alone or not. My friend must have told him about me, my friend is female, by the way, because she said he kept asking her to ask me to meet up with them both. she also said that he really likes me, and he said ...
A. 18 August 2010: I'm with Dirtball here. Yes, meet in a public place, and make sure you arrive and leave on your own.
Do not get in his car or go back to his home!
These are simply reasonable precautions to take when meeting a complete stranger for the... (read in full...)
How do I ask her on a date?
Q. dear cupid i do fancy this woman that lives in the same street as me how do i approach her. it a long time since i went out with a woman. she is single like me but a bit younger than me....
A. 18 August 2010: Do you know if she's married or in a long-term relationship?
If she isn't, then next time you see her why not just be friendly and casual and say something like "I was wondering if you'd like to go out for coffee sometime" and see what she says... (read in full...)
| *enise32's friends
These are mutual friends, so *enise32 has
added them and they have added *enise32!
|
