My long distance relationship has problems.

A female age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have been in this relationship for 11/2 yrs. We were in a distant relationshp 2 hrs. He was trying hard and took turns traveling to see each other. I had been going through my own thing, graduated from college and could not find a job for 8 months that also placed a strain on our relationship I suppose but I was trying hard not to let it. . I was insensitive and on his birthday, I was looking to celebrating with him. During the week he was fine then he would not get back to me. As a fireman, his job is stressful and he saw a 2yrs old die on his bday. He was devastated and I didn't know and blasted him for not getting back to me but could go to lunch with a guy friend and his family, I was hurt. At the last minute not knowing anything and 2 hrs away, he was going through, he asked me at 8 pm to come if I “wanted”. so I texted him and told him why would i want to come when he is giving me his half attention. He got angry and wanted to break up the next day. I went to see him. I apologized to him and could not hold back the tears but still I did understand the capacity of his hurt. I love him so much and am so proud of who he is and really do respect him. I am not normally this kind of person to hurt anyone. Originally he wanted a month to think things through but we talked so he took 2 weeks “space” to see if this is what he wants. after all this time but he has not called. We are now on the 3rd week. When we last saw each other He told me he wanted to hear if I got a job during the 2 wks so I did get a job. I texted him and he texted back and said, Congratulations! That's great with a smile. I wrote him back and told him thanks for being an encouragement during this time and that he was the best. I have not heard from him and do not know if he will call. I have decided to not call him but could it be another girl. We are 28 and 29 and not children. I don’t like playing games but I really want him back and don’t know what to do. I believe he will call because I know him but I was think that now I have a job where he lives since I was trying to get a job and move to the city where he is. Our relationship would not be so strained if we had lived closer. We never fought always talked things out and made peace. Should I continue to leave him alone or call and want to meet up for dinner or coffee. I am better now just know that he is thinking of me. He knew I was looking for a job in the city where he is living. I am moving there in 1 month but I want to say this. He also told me he did not want to live with anyone but we never talked about anything like moving in together.He had lived with another girlfriend before me they were together for 2 yrs. I told him that was not what I was thinking and it takes two people to have a mutual understanding. He just lookedat me and said nothing. He originally thought I wanted to move in but that is not the case and told him. I know he knows how important and special he is to me. What can I say to regain his trust and not break up? What would be the wisest thing to do. I hate playing games. One more thing he was trying to buy a house in the beach city where I live right now but it did not go through. I don’t know if this had anything to do with how he is feeling or is it the frustration. When I texted him about my job in the city I really thought he was happy and now i feel as if I have thrown in something more for him to consider about our relationship. I have tried to give the general information to you so you can see what is happening. Please help!

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A female reader, Denise32  +, writes (21 October 2010):

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