A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My best friend and I lost our virginities to each other back in the beginning of June right after we graduated from high school. Yes, she is a girl and yes, I am a guy. Anyway, she asked me if I'd be okay with taking her virginity considering she never lost in high school and didn't want to go through college with it. We go to the same college right now and we've known each other since kindergarten, so it made sense to her to lose it to me and I agreed.After that, we started having a LOT of sex. I'm not going to lie, I think she is amazing in bed (even though I have nothing to compare her to). She's told me several times that I'm huge and I'm unbelievable in bed as well. Although she's said all this while we've had sex. But when we're in public, she tries to keep it quiet. I feel like we're dating already because we go out on "dates" and have sex all the time but she doesn't care to acknowledge this new-found connection between us.I know she loves me like a best friend should love her best friend but dammit! I want more! We actually got into an argument recently about this and after about 10 seconds of yelling at each other, I literally stole a kiss from her. Like, I just briskly walked up to her, took her face in my hands and... kissed her. Hard. She squeaked at first but then five minutes later, we were having sex.It's interesting, though. I'm the taller, huskier type of guy (6'1" / 270 lbs), though people have told me I don't look more than 210 lbs. My best friend is 5'3" and 115 lbs. She is self-proclaimed as "average in every way possible". She's told me she makes me happier than any guy in high school ever did and I've told her I feel the same way about her. But I'm wondering she just doesn't let us be "official". Or maybe she does and I'm just not in the loop. What can I do about this? Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2010): Hey my good man dont be alarmed she wants to keep your relationship private and keep things between you and her. This shows she respects the relationship as she doesnt want anyone in your guys' business. In my opinion, this is a great great woman because of this. Doesnt hurt to be private in some ways.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (24 October 2010):
 Well when you argue about it what is her reasoning for not being official?
Before you let this best friends with benefits you need to ask her to define you guys. What is your status? Let her know you want more, but you need to find out if she feels the same way. Or is this a no strings attached deal which is purely sex, no feelings no nothing. Although it's not working because you are starting to harbor feelings for her. It's a rare occurrence that friends with benefits can be turned into a relationship. In this case, it's possible..But then again I'm afraid there's no chance because it started off on the wrong foot with being about just sex. Even though you had good intentions. I hope I'm wrong..because you sound like the ideal boyfriend for her.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2010): I think this is a FWB and nothing more. I am not sure what you can do and pleas would be a turnoff. I think you need to chase this one different. Maybe go the secret admire route for a while.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2010): gosh,
You really are into this girl. Beings how you were her first, well she just might need some time to adjust to the fact that you took her virtue away and she can never get it back. She might just be ashamed of the fact that she is no longer pure???? I don't think she does not like you at all. She just is, OR can not face the fact that she "DID IT", not with you, but just that she did it. You need to back off and respect her privacy. This has nothing to do with you, nor her liking you or any of that. She is in shock still and does not know how to respond to such a new, unfamiliar thing she just did. I am most certain she cares a lot about you.
Be kind and understanding...........Okay, take care.......N' don't go blabbing to all your lil guy friends either, how rude. That will just make her feel even worse.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2010): It sounds like she just wants you as a sex buddy. Partly because shes comfortable with you because you guys have known eachother for so long. Sex is not a relationship. and the dates you guys go on might just mean hanging out as friends to her. i wish you nothing but good luck.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (24 October 2010):
 It SOUNDS as if she certainly enjoys having sex with you, BUT doesn't want to make it known to others and in public because she does not want to be "tied down" to you at this stage.
I'm really sorry to have to tell you so - and I could be mistaken - but that's the impression I get from what you've told us......
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