| Latest articles: On relationships: The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 July 2011: The following was forwarded to me by a member of my church. It is adapated from a book: "Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work" I believe its worth passing on: "Dr. John gottman can predict with 96% accuracy within the first three minu...
A few things I've learned......
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 November 2010: Often we get posts from men and women who are wondering whether to ask their boyfriend or girlfriend "where do we stand"? Based on my own observations, and having been in situations such as this in the past, I have come to think its generally ...
|
Am I wrong to demand she only speak with me?
Q. Hello All, I am 26 years , I will marrying soon withing couple of months . I have a porblem i love very much my financy , before marriage we are now speaking all things on phone , she told all things about her and she said that she is having a ...
A. 28 July 2010: PLEASE, pay attention to what the other aunts and uncles have told you!
It's just not right for you to attempt to control her the way you are doing now. You don't speak rudely to someone you claim to love, and tell them who they can and cannot t... (read in full...)
He is being friendly because he see's I'm sad, or does he really like me?
Q. i have been going through some things with family and even personaly..so at work i haven't been the happiest..if someone approaches me or talks to me i have no attitude; i think i am pretty sweet and kind. I don't take my problems out on anyone. I ...
A. 28 July 2010: My guess would be that he does like you and is concerned about you as well. If the two of you made out (don't know if you mean you had sex or just some kissing & cuddling sort of thing) but nothing happened since, I guess he finds you attractive ... (read in full...)
Please help me, he says he loves me, but wont speak to me.
Q. *Reposted* No one answered the first time I posted this so... My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years now. I absolutely love him with all my heart. The only problem is that lately we've barely been talking. He works nigh...
A. 28 July 2010: I really don't recall seeing your first post.
However, you two obviously have a real schedule conflict if he works nights, and his job leaves him very tired when his work"day" ends.
But apart from the schedule, he seems to have lost the interes... (read in full...)
Should I be happy that he is only drinking 3-4 beers a day now?`
Q. Hello all! Okay, so I'll try and sum everything up in a quick paragraph because I desperately need advice. I am 20 and my boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 and 1/2 years. For the most part, our relationship has been really good, however, there ...
A. 28 July 2010: He is an alcoholic. It's an addiction.
You can't just lower your guard and try to fix this problem on your own. It won't happen. HE has to have an investment in kicking his habit and demonstrating (not just "saying") that he is trustwor... (read in full...)
Should I start living my sexual fantasies?
Q. I'm 20 and as a student i work at the bar with mostly older male population. The thing is that my wildest sexual fantasy is to have sex with someone 50-60 years old. And in this bar i've met the right person, who is obviously very attracted to me. S...
A. 28 July 2010: I would say that IF this is something you want to do and can be sure he uses protection (condom) because you don't want to risk getting an STD - and he might be healthy, but its not worth taking a chance - to go for it, but for the fact that ... (read in full...)
He Wanted Me For 2 Years, Got Me - Then Changed Almost Overnight!
Q. [sorry for such a long question]Well my boyfriend and i have just recently got together and it has now been at least a month and a half. he told me before we got together that he had liked me for almsot two years and that he was so happy that i ...
A. 27 July 2010: What do you do now? You block him from your email, phone, I.M., Facebook, etc. It's a lost cause. It's his choice - which he is entitled to make - not to continue. He doesn't sound very considerate, however.
Don't even ATTEMPT to remain f... (read in full...)
Just some fun!
Q. Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
A. 27 July 2010: When I was younger, I went on a strange sort of vacation with my parents.......my Dad was driving some VERY "twisty" roads and said: "These darn roads must have been designed by drunkards when the devil was chasing them....."
Loved your stories!... (read in full...)
Do I need to worry about my boyfriends girl-mate?
Q. Hi, I've been with my bf 5 months now and I know that isnt too long but I really feel strongly about him and things have been pretty perfect until very recently. He was staying over with me the other night when his friend called him up at 450am so...
A. 27 July 2010: Hmmm......getting a phone call at that early hour from his "friend" and telling her he couldn't wait to see her, and "I love you too" does not sound good at all. In fact, if she was just a friend "I" would have bawled her out for calling at that ... (read in full...)
Do I i.m. him or ask him to hang out? What should I do?
Q. I went to Panera and thought this kid Alex was hot, so I left him my number and he never called so I called him a week later and he explained how he had a girlfriend and he said to visit him and then I went to and a worker told me his last name ...
A. 26 July 2010: Okay. You've been communicating on Facebook, and had a really good conversation.
If he knows how to get in touch with you, he would have had he wanted to get together.
I suppose you COULD send an I.M. and ask if he wants to meet for coffee ... (read in full...)
I have an attraction with the other woman...
Q. I recently met a woman who I started dating. I was rather unimpressed with her so over weight and that she was not really a good looking person. We have no plans to extend this into a relationship as we agreed that we were just dating. I do like her ...
A. 26 July 2010: Before you get involved with this neighbor, you should first of all stop dating the woman you have been seeing.
Make it clear that there is to be no more contact, and let her down as kindly and gently as you can. No need to go into details ... (read in full...)
I need him but he doesn't give me what I want!
Q. hello everyone, I ask you to help me please because this problem is making me very miserable... I've been with this guy for nearly 4 months now but he was my ex from a long and troubled relationship, he keeps coming back to me, and this last tim...
A. 26 July 2010: Well, to begin with, you DON'T "need" him. You may WANT him, but that's very different from needing him.
Second, this is a losing proposition. The two of you were together a long time four years ago, and it just didn't work out. Look at what ... (read in full...)
I'm confused about getting married and don't think I'm ready
Q. I need help, i'm scared and i can't talk to my friends.If i told them about my opinions maybe they would lough at me.....so i decided to ask for help to unknown people. in a month i'm going to get merry, i love my boyfriend and he loves me,but m...
A. 23 July 2010: Is this by any chance an arranged marriage? Something your family expects you to do?
In any case, if you feel so unready for marriage, you definitely should not commit to it!... (read in full...)
I told him I was falling for him and now he's very distant
Q. I'm so confused and dont understand why I'm feeling this way. I met a lovely man who I didn't expect to have feelings for and we have been seeing each other on and off for 3 months. He lives about an hour away on RAF base and though its hard, we ...
A. 23 July 2010: Yes, unfortunately I have to agree with Zayla that it probably wasn't a good idea to tell him you were falling for him......one other thing that stands out in your post is that you tell us you were seeing each other "off and on" for three months.
... (read in full...)
Please help me get over my Ex
Q. I need help getting over my ex.he cheated on me and just didnt treat me right.i broke up him,but still love him.plz help...
A. 23 July 2010: Well, I know you feel bad that you had to end your relationship. That's normal.
However, think of it this way: he did cheat on you with another woman. If he was in a committed relationship with you, and met someone else, the ethical thing to... (read in full...)
Will I get hurt having an affair with a married man?
Q. A few months ago I met a man online just chatting he told me right off that he was married and that he and his wife love each other yet they do allow each other to do whatever they wish . Anyway we clicked and we met up we just had our sceond ...
A. 22 July 2010: There is no future in having an affair with a married man.
Never has been, never will be. They usually are not going to leave their wives (no matter how much they might say they will). The "other woman" is just that: someone on the side he ... (read in full...)
Can I live up to all the hype and expectations?
Q. This is a very "loaded" question, so if you're in a hurry then I suggest you skip this... answer 1 of the "concerns" or all of them... give you're opinion on the whole matter... or if you had any stories/experiences like/similar to this?... etc any ...
A. 22 July 2010: Well, first off, if he likes you, then, he likes you. Yes, boys do notice how a girl looks, but I suppose he has seen photos of you? If he has a lot of emotional problems, then he might not be as self-confident as you imagine......just a guess, ... (read in full...)
How long do you have a break for before its to late to get back together
Q. Hi me and my partner of 6years decided to have a break 2weeks ago due to him drinking to much he dosnt drink every day maybe 2/3 times a week but when he does he gets totally drunk acts stupid and nasty he only acts like this when he goes out on his ...
A. 21 July 2010: I think dirtball makes an excellent point.
You have only been on this "break" for TWO WEEKS. That is NO time at all - especially if he really wants to change because he wants to do it for himself, and NOT because he wants you to take him back!
... (read in full...)
Should I go out with my uncle's friend?
Q. Ok, this is kind of a strange situation. I know this guy who is friends with my uncle, and this guy is married to my uncle's ex. Lately, my uncle has been said that this guy has been asking him to ask me to come along when they go out for a drink. I ...
A. 20 July 2010: Possibly - but that's not saying too much in his favor! He's had crushes on your Mother, your Uncle's ex-wife and niece. AND this man is married.
I still say stay the heck away from him!... (read in full...)
She says she doesn't have time to be with me right now!
Q. so me aand this girl were dating for a few months and everything was going great. both very happy and had barely any problems. talked everyday and saw eachother every weekend but only on the weekends cause she lives 2 hours away. both said we love ...
A. 19 July 2010: Okay. First, why would she lie to you about having too much on her plate? Taking care of her sister's children is a heavy responsibilty. Is her sister ill, or away on vacation or something??
I can understand she wants to spend what limited ... (read in full...)
Should I go out with my uncle's friend?
Q. Ok, this is kind of a strange situation. I know this guy who is friends with my uncle, and this guy is married to my uncle's ex. Lately, my uncle has been said that this guy has been asking him to ask me to come along when they go out for a drink. I ...
A. 19 July 2010: I think you'd be well-advised to NOT go for a drink with them! And your uncle should have told his friend that it was a very bad idea.
Look: this man is MARRIED. It doesn't speak well of him that he had crushes on various other women in your ... (read in full...)
I'm tripping, right? How do I learn to relax and not worry so much?
Q. Am I worryin bout nothin? My bf calls me daily (2x a day sometimes) and the other night..on thurs we were talking n he had to call me back. He never did (sometimes he falls asleep so I figured that's what happened) anyway - I didn't get a call the...
A. 19 July 2010: I'm glad to hear he got in touch and that you were indeed worrying about nothing! It's quite true he wouldn't contact you twice a day if he wasn't interested - but at the same time, hopefully you'll realize now not to take it too personally if you ... (read in full...)
I've even been in therapy but cannot get over my ex
Q. Dear Readers, I was in a nine year relationship with my boyfriend. (Met in high school - dated on and off through college and after.) We had problems - mostly that he had growing up to do and put his friends before me, couldn't commit to moving...
A. 19 July 2010: Why is that you you still cannot get over your ex? What is holding you back?
Whatever it is, you cannot really commit to the new man while you feel this way. You take a chance on losing a good guy if you don't respond positively, and what gua... (read in full...)
I'm tripping, right? How do I learn to relax and not worry so much?
Q. Am I worryin bout nothin? My bf calls me daily (2x a day sometimes) and the other night..on thurs we were talking n he had to call me back. He never did (sometimes he falls asleep so I figured that's what happened) anyway - I didn't get a call the...
A. 19 July 2010: Yes, I think you are worrying over much. He's most likely just a bit busy.
I know its easy to do that: I stay away from reading up on various ailments because I can easily let my imagine run away with me, LOL!
I talk once a week on Skype wi... (read in full...)
She's 20, I'm 40. Am I weird for feeling like this?
Q. There’s a young lady that I have an interest in. It’s not a sexual thing, really. I can’t explain it, there’s just something about her that makes me want to get to know her. The first issue is I’m forty and she’s twenty. Although I’m a young at h...
A. 19 July 2010: I'm with Bernard on this one. It won't do any harm to drop her a friendly line, remind her who you are, and ask how she's doing and does she remember you. Be friendly, yet casual, and see if she responds.
If she does, great, you can make arr... (read in full...)
He just stopped talking to me!
Q. so the guy i was dating for 7 months just out of the blue stopped talking to me... it all started when one weekend he went to get his stuff from his ex that he was with for almost four years (they havent seen eachother in 9 months or have even ...
A. 19 July 2010: It could well be that getting his stuff back from his ex upset him to the extent that he now feels quite unsettled.
Admittedly he shouldn't have told you he would call you back after your phone conversation with him, but he may have still been "de... (read in full...)
Should I pursue guy 1, guy 2... or just become a nun?
Q. Hullo, Its my first time on this site but I really need some advice. I am kinda torn between two guys and I was hoping that everyone here could help me? Guy one is a close friend, my first crush and my only boyfriend and I have been his only gi...
A. 19 July 2010: Good response, q1605 - and I like the bit of humor at the end, LOL.... (read in full...)
Does she not want to be my friend any more?
Q. I have a friend who i looked up to and during school we were fine. We had a fight a few days before that because she was jealous I was spending time with another girl and not her. She is the type who wants to be in control but is very caring. We ...
A. 19 July 2010: I think you've guessed correctly. she evidently has given up on you.
Therefore, you act the way you would if she was a guy friend and let it go (of course, a woman friend is not the same as a bf, though the way to deal with it is similar)... (read in full...)
He comes on to me even though we broke up!
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend before school ended and he keeps texting me wanting to be friends but earlier when i asked him about 10 times he got mad. School is starting and I really dont want him around me cause he needs to get over me. Any ideas ...
A. 19 July 2010: Block him from texting you then! If he phones and asks to hang out, tell him NO - he's your EX-boyfriend, so let him know once and for all, that when it's over, it's over, and you do not want to hear from him again. If he calls you after that, ... (read in full...)
Should I pursue guy 1, guy 2... or just become a nun?
Q. Hullo, Its my first time on this site but I really need some advice. I am kinda torn between two guys and I was hoping that everyone here could help me? Guy one is a close friend, my first crush and my only boyfriend and I have been his only gi...
A. 19 July 2010: At your age, being two years older than you is quite a big deal. He's still a teenager, but much more ready for sex.
If he tells you he'll take it slow if you go out, and that he won't pressure you sexually, but he's keeping on about sex whenever... (read in full...)
I'm really worried he'll cheat on me with her... help!
Q. I have only been with my boyfriend for 3 months now and the first month was brilliant with no arguments whatsoever. Going into the second month facebook began to cause arguments with the way he commented on other girls statuses. They weren't extreme ...
A. 18 July 2010: Whether he's actually cheating on you or not, he is quite "stuck" on this other girl, by the sound of it.
You've only been dating three months, hardly any time at all. He sounds quite inconsiderate, telling you he was going to continue texting ... (read in full...)
I just wish I had guys liking me too, how can I feel better about my appearance?
Q. Well ive been told that i was ugly, flat chested, and flat butt. It really hurts. I was also told today the same thing. Now im just sad. how do i make myself feel better. My friends have guys liking them and they talk about it all the time. I want ...
A. 17 July 2010: Oh, fooee! Don't pay attention to someone who tells you such unkind, negative things about yourself! Whether it was one person (maybe she's jealous, or upset with you?) or more than one, you don't need to be around people like that!
You don't wa... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is into casual sex and I'm appauled by it.. unsure if I should accept this..?
Q. So my boyfriend has had 6 sexual partners(including myself).now me on the other hand i have only had 2(my first, and him)..Only 1 out of the five he had sex with,was while he was in a relationship.. the rest just casual sex..Now, MY opinion of ...
A. 17 July 2010: You say you were "applauded". Do you really mean that? I imagine you meant to say "I was appalled."
Anyway, to answer your question: you asked him, and he told you. It's your call, but personally I wouldn't want to be involved with someone ... (read in full...)
My friend said he's just using me for sex!!!
Q. i've been having a fling with a guy for 3 months, I've grown strong feelings for him, i think about him day an night, he says im too emotional and he dont do emotional talk. once he told my friend all he wanted from me is sex and im not getting ...
A. 16 July 2010: "but I really enjoyed the sex and wanted more than what he gives me. I don't want someone else to have sex with him"
apple-s, apple-s: PLEASE, you are not listening! Not to him and not to us. He doesn't give a two-penny damn what you do or do... (read in full...)
My friend said he's just using me for sex!!!
Q. i've been having a fling with a guy for 3 months, I've grown strong feelings for him, i think about him day an night, he says im too emotional and he dont do emotional talk. once he told my friend all he wanted from me is sex and im not getting ...
A. 16 July 2010: Well, there you have it! He has made it clear he is only with you for sex; he's told you he thinks you're "too emotional" and he doesn't "do emotional"; he ignores you and hasn't contacted you in three weeks......
You SERIOUSLY need to let it g... (read in full...)
Does his offish ways mean he's not interested any more?
Q. Hi, a couple of weeks ago I went on a date with a lovely guy who i'd been chatting to on facebook for a few weeks. It went really well and we got on brilliantly. He even suggested another date after our evening! So, I waited a week and heard n...
A. 16 July 2010: Unfortunately it does indeed mean he doesn't wish to pursue you.
I know it's disappointing when you'd been chatting on Facebook and then had a real nice date. Who knows why he suggested going out again, then changed his mind? No way to tell. H... (read in full...)
He's now told me to "stop hassling him". Any suggestions?
Q. Hi, I met this bloke 3 months ago on a training course and we hit it off straight away. He told me he was married, but they are separating and the house is up for sale (I know the house is for sale as my friend lives near him and the sign is ...
A. 16 July 2010: YES. Do not contact him again. Not now, not ever. This man was using you for sex and in sending you the "hassle" text he made it very clear that whatever was going on between you is finished.
He's married and lying about separating from his... (read in full...)
Is there any way to get my ex to talk to me again?
Q. so currently i feel like crawling into a hole and never coming out... i feel like i've stuffed everything up and there's no way in hell it's ever going to be fixed. i got dumped, by text and with no explanation by the first guy i've ever actual...
A. 15 July 2010: It's just about never a good idea to try to be friends with an ex. Why? Because, as you unfortunately have discovered, the one who was dumped will still be attempting to hold onto what was, under the guise of "friendship", whereas the dumpee no ... (read in full...)
Patience is a virtue???
Q. I posted my situation on here a couple of weeks ago and received some great replies - thank you for these. But the situation continues so I am posting again with an update in the hope that you all may be able to help me further! A girl started...
A. 15 July 2010: Well, there really isn't a whole lot you CAN do at this point in time, and the distance.
Does she have enough money to pay her fare home, or is she dependent on her bf for that?
You could write her and tell her that she needs to make a decisi... (read in full...)
I have a sexual attraction to my friend but unsure how to proceed she is still married
Q. I have a friend I'm very attracted to. I am separated, she is in a failing marriage. I don't give her advise or temp her to leave her marriage, but I want her to. Because of our situations, we see each other a few times a month. This is a big ...
A. 13 July 2010: She's married - and whether it's "failing" or not, is beside the point. You're married, even though separated, and that also is beside the point. Married is married.
Until and unless you BOTH get divorced and then you would be free to pursue a... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is really controlling but I cant dump him because I have been with him for too long!
Q. i have been going out with my boyfriend for more than two years now and at first he was good but now he is controlling me. its that bad i cant go on the computer, msn, have facebook or even look and listen to boys on tv! i cant have boy mates or ...
A. 12 July 2010: OF COURSE you can dump him - and you must!
I suggest you enroll your parents in helping you deal with him - I suppose you're living at home with them? They can forbid him to come around, or to phone you, you know. at your young age your par... (read in full...)
He hasn't said he loves me yet, am I just a fool?
Q. he hasn't said he loves me am I a fool? I've been with my boyfriend for 4 months going strong. Before that we met in January and went out 6-7 times and broke up for a month cos he was unsure if he wanted to commit to our relationship. He...
A. 12 July 2010: What to make of this? Good grief, you have forced him to tell you he loves you! You say he's very insecure - and he does seem to care for you even so, but don't you realize that with all the pressure you're putting on him and all the rows, you're ... (read in full...)
| *enise32's friends
These are mutual friends, so *enise32 has
added them and they have added *enise32!
|
