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age
51-59,
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writes: I am not exactly sure how to ask this question. I have become extrememly close to a co worker of mine. We just instantly clicked from the beginning. I absolutely love him. He is gay, but I was wondering is there certain degrees of being gay. I seriously wonder if he could possibly be bisexual. He has 3 kids from a previous relationship with a woman but has been in a committed gay relationship for 15 years. I have met his partner and we get along great. But his partner has become very jealous lately and I am pretty sure I am the reason why. We connect on a level that I have never connected with anyone. He seems to know exactly what I am thinking just by looking at me. We have only known each other a few months but he knows me better than my best friend of 12 years and my husband of 9 years. I am falling completely in love with him. Should I tell him how I feel and risk my relationship with him and maybe put my marriage and his relationship in jeopardy. I have never cheated on my husband physically before but this goes way beyond that. I can't stop thinking about him and came very close to kissing him once. When he holds me, I feel so safe. He is everything to me and I don't want to lose him. Please help with your suggestions.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for you quick responses and they were helpful. I love the attention my friend gives me and I honestly believe that I have found a life long friend. I can tell by the way he looks at me that he thinks of me more than a friend. Somehow I will find a way to deal with it. We have a chemistry that I have never found to have with anyone. I do love my husband, but I will never feel this close to him and that makes me sad. He has never taken the time to get to know me on that level. He could learn so much from my friend. I have decided it is time for the 2 of them to meet. I told my husband today about our friendship and he didn't seem to have a problem with it. I have thought about this a lot. It is just so hard to know that I have finally met my soul mate..the perfect man that just completes me and he is gay. I can be sad about it and let it ruin my life or I can come to grips with the fact that I will never ever really have him. I have the most wonderful best friend in the world and why would I want to ruin that? Thank you again. I will let you know how things go.
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female
reader, natmarie  +, writes (26 August 2010):
 Hey, this happened to me once to- I fell in love with a gay man, and I suffered for a year. Please try not to waste anymore time on this - he is essentailly GAY, and has a male partner. The line can be blurred with gay male to female freindships, I know. If it makes you feel better , tell him how you feel, but please don;t be surprised if he tells you he only sees you as a freind, but at least this way you wil get answer. I told my gay best freind, in the end how I feel, and he told me he only sees me as a freind. Gays like women, just not sexually. You both have too much to lose. Also, what if you got together, and he went of with another guy in the end? his gay tendencies will ALWAYS be there - sexuality doens;t change. if you have to leave your job because of this - leave it. Thats' what I had to do. Freindships like this can be very powerful, as we experience intense love feelings. Also, he probably knows how you feel...I hope he isn;t enjoying the attention and playing you a bit? Let us know how you get on. Natmariexx
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female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (26 August 2010):
 You know, it really doesn't matter whether he is "partly gay"; bisexual or heterosexual.
The facts are: he has been/is in a committed relationship with another man 15 years and you have a husband.
You CAN'T be "completely in love with him", nor can you be afraid of losing him (yes, I know you have those feelings) but this is way out of line. He is not yours to love or lose - and the same applies to him: You are not "his" in any way, shape or form.
What you need to do now is withdraw from this man, withdraw totally, before two marriages are wrecked.
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male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (26 August 2010):
 You both have relationships. You have a husband and he has a partner. Don't do anything until you're sure of what would happen.
He's gay which means he probably won't see you in a romantic kind of way, don't give yourself false hope. Yes it is possible that he might be bi but that doesn't change the fact that chances are he doesn't see you in a romantic kind of way because you're both in relationships!
I hope that helps.
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