A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so i've been seeing this guy for about 9 months now. we started off as friends with benefits, but its more then that. we hang out constantly, and we dont see other people. we always have fun. and at first, he used to always kiss me when dropping me off at work, now he wont kiss or have sex, unless we are both drunk. and ive tried asking him where this is going, because we dont really have a title, and he just answers "idk?" yet everyone around us can see how much we both care for eachother. should i just suck it up and talk to him about it? or what should i do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): I agree. Your relationship has already had a title the whole time. Why would you expect it to change? If you got into this thinking FWB naturally leads to relationships they you are mistaken.
If he knew you wanted it to lead to a relationship all along then he has been using you all this time.
If you already knew you wanted more from him all along, then you have been using sex to try to manipulate him.
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (22 August 2010):
 You have a title.. he's your friend and you both have sex... if he wanted more from you he would tell you.
You don't have to "suck it up", FWB should be fun. If it's not fun or you want more, go and find yourself a proper boyfriend. You can't do FWB if your in love with him and think this is a way to keep him. It will upset you if he decides one day to get himself a proper full time girlfriend.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (21 August 2010):
 Yeah the FWB never works bc one always ends up having feelings for another. In this case u. Are u positive that he isnt seeing anyone else? Sorry but it isnt going anywhere except for heartache for u. The title is FWB with u trying to make it more, thus pushing it into an awkward area. U can try to have a talk with him telling him that u want a relationship see if he feels the same..if he stills continues the "idk" then its never going to be anymore than FWB for him. So then u must proceed to end the FWB bc u cant go on being FWB status with him when u have more feelings. Dont ever get into another FWB again!
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (21 August 2010):
 It SOUNDS as though he wants to avoid discussing your relationship at all costs.
Why? Most likely because he doesn't want to take it any further and doesn't want to commit, either.......I could be reading it wrong, but right off hand, that's my guess.
He won't kiss you any more, and doesn't have sex with you unless drunk. In a sense, by having sex when drunk he sort of "absenting" himself from you, on the grounds (in his mind and maybe not expressed consciously) that because he was drunk he wasn't responsible for his actions......
I suppose you COULD try talking to him - except that I don't think its likely to get you anywhere. The fact that he (I can see him doing it) sort of says with a shrug, "I dunno" indicates that he really does not want to discuss it with you, but just enjoy the "benefits" of drunken sex.......for what that's worth........
By the way, maybe "everyone else" can see how much he cares for you - I think its starting to slowly unravel - but I hope I'm wrong.....
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