A
male
age
26-29,
*oteveryoneisperfect
writes:Okay well I have been dating this girl for 2 months and i have really started to love her she is the first girl i have ever wanted to say i love you to but when i start to think about her past with all of the men she has slept with it really hurts/gets me mad...A topic came up while we were texting she asked me how many people have you slept with i told her that i have only slept with two other people... I asked her the same thing and all i got in response was i have had a lot of sex... She also told me in detail about how she used to have sex three times a day with this one guy and how bad it hurt when another guy did anal to her and she has mentioned things about guys penises like how small they are and how ugly their penis is (i think she makes fun of their penis to make me feel better about how many guys she slept with but im not sure) but my Question is how do i deal or forget this because i really love this girl and dont want to lose her
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male
reader, Serpico +, writes (28 November 2012):
Ugh - you have retro jealousy, and my guess is this is the first you are realizing it. (I was about the same age.)
The bad news is the affliction you have sucks big time and is incredibly painful and difficult to defeat. My advice to anyone who has is it is to move on to someone with a past you can accept unless the person in question is amazing and worth the effort. I have struggled my entire life with this same affliction, and found the answer for me was to just move to someone with a past I could accept, and I have been all the happier. The good news is at your age, there are plenty of women with pasts you can accept. Honestly, if I were you I would cut my losses right now and move on. Just be wary of this condition you have and select a mate accordingly.
A
male
reader, wolfred bane  +, writes (28 November 2012):
 Her past does not matter one bit if you truly care for her, but Also chigirl might be on to something.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (25 November 2012):
 Contrary to what you might have heard from Mitt Romney,.... life is NOT exactly like an "Etch-a-Sketch" that you can turn over and refresh......
YOU have to decide if you prefer to spend your time judging your potential G/F's PAST..... or if you would like to consider having a FUTURE with her.....
Decide that.... and your question will disappear....
Good luck......
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (25 November 2012):
 Forget about the past and accept it. If you guys like each other, then deal with the present and the future...
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 November 2012):
 How old is she? How many partners can she possibly have had at such a young age? It sounds like something is going on here, and you wont like what I'm about to say. Having had multiple sex partners at such a young age tends to indicate a history of sexual abuse. It is not common for young girls to have loads of sex. Most girls wait before having sex, and they certainly don't brag about it if they've had it. Your girlfriend sounds like she almost brags, and by the sound of things, all one had to do to get her in bed was ask. Has she ever turned anyone down?
The thing about sexually abused girls/women is that their sexuality has been taken away from them by force. They have been forced into doing things, someone just took the right to say "no" away from them. It might be hard to understand for outsiders, but a girl who has been sexually abused does not reject sex in itself. Instead, what they are afraid of, is that a man will take away their right to say "no". She can not bear the thought that she will say no again, and the man still takes her against her will. So to avoid this, she will say yes, each and every time anyone asks. That way, she can always say it was willingly, that she wanted it. No man can force her to anything if she always agrees to do it.
I would have a serious talk with your girlfriend about why she has said yes so easily to so many, and if she truly actually wanted this. I would also ask her about her first sexual experience. She sounds like a sexually abused girl who doesn't have a healthy view on what sex actually is. By making sex out to be meaningless, something you do with strangers who don't matter, the first forced encounter also becomes of less importance. I hope you see what I mean, this is all psychological. Keep in mind, the signs show to a possible sexual abuse in her past, probably from a very early age (anywhere between the ages 5-12). She might not want to tell you, but keep it in mind before you judge her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2012): She's had "Lots of sex" with different guys (including anal) and she's only between the ages of 16-17 (I assume going off your age?) I think she could be one to keep your eye on. She doesn't sound too fussy about giving herself freely to guys in that way, and sometimes girls like her are often easily led or stray (Cheat).
She may well be sincere and make fun of other guys genitals to make you feel better as if to say "Oh it was nothing special", but on the other hand she may just be immature enough to see guys and easy sex as a joke in general, and uses guys for fun as and when she wants/can get it. There's no other excuse in the world for having "Lots of sex" including anal, with different guys (who you haven't actually mentioned she was in a relationship with by the way) at her age, other than she did it because it was available at that moment. If she valued herself much too, she wouldn't just freely give herself to any guy she saw fit. Just be cautious with her.
When I was 15 I had what I considered my first "real love", she was a girl I previously (around 13-14) had what I can only describe as a "childish girlfriend boyfriend" thing with. When we were both 15 and slightly more knowledgeable of what relationships were, we decided to give things another shot. I was a virgin and she told me she also was, and if we were still together around the time we were both ready to lose it, we planned to lose it together. A few months went by, everything was good and we were all loved up as you might imagine, doing all the kissing and the touching and holding hands and the hugging etc, then one day we fell out, and she told me she wasn't a virgin and in fact she'd had sex quite a few times. Shortly after that I found out she'd also slept with a friend of mine (a mutual friend of ours) during the our falling out. She moved house and never actually spoke to either of us after that.
There's not really much advice I can give on this because the ultimate decision has to come from you, and your own opinion of her, whether or not you could trust her based on the sexual past you know about her. Not so much "What" she's done, but "why" she's done it, and how likely it is that she could just throw herself at other guys if she's not with you and she gets the chance again...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2012): "Question is how do i deal or forget this because i really love this girl and dont want to lose her"You can't deal with or forget your girlfriend's sexual past because she is the one who keeps a measuring stick for other guys dicks and a scorecard for how frequently and regularly she gets laid.It would appear she gets her jollies from using, humiliating and discarding guys and you seem to fit the profile of a perfect target as a starry-eyed, gullible sap.Stop thinking with your d^^k and start thinking with your brain as she is thinking with her brain knowing you are thinking with your d^^ck, and you are overmatched exponentially. Otherwise, put your d^^k on a leash and your balls in a jar and just hand them over to her; if you are fool enough to stay with her then she'll have them soon enough anyway. As a guy old enough to be you grandfather, please pay attention as I tell you that if you want to guarantee that the rest of your life will be a living Hell on Earth, then let her string you along and con you into knocking her up and you will be miserable for decades to come, that is an absolute certainty.
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