A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I have this dilemma.. I recently met a guy that I have fallen completely head over heals for, and from my understanding, he has completely fallen for me too. The problem is, he is in the army, and was deployed to Afghanistan a couple days ago. We only met a week before he left, but we spent every moment we could with eachother. We have emailed eachother since he left, and from what he has written to me, I am all he has thought about since being deployed. The thing is, he will be gone for 8 months.. I dont know if I want to feel like this. I really like him, but he left before I got to know him, and I am not sure if I can wait for him. Feelings change in 8 months, especially if you never really got to be close enough. Should I continue to live my life, and continue to email him, and if I meet someone else in that time then so be it.. Or should I wait and see what happens in 8 months..? I feel hurt. I miss him so much, and if this is day 2, then i dont want to know what 8 months will feel like :( Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (22 November 2012):
 I agree with then first two answers. Continue talking to him, but don't set yourself up for commitments that offer few rewards. To that end, you might want to cut back on some of that time spent online together. If all of your free time is spent with him, you won't have to declare a commitment. It will be assumed.
Remember, he wasn't drafted. He volunteered. He's abroad right now because that is what he wanted to do. He is living his life's ambitions so by all means, you live yours. Do what you would have done were he not in your life because for all intents and purposes, he isn't.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 November 2012):
 Just go ahead with things and see what happens. You aren't in a relationship, so you shouldn't sit around and wait for him, or cut out your social life just so you can stay on hold for him.
He's in the army, he'll travel away several times. So this is just a taste of what life with him might be like. You'll see in this time if distance brings you closer, or if distance makes you grow apart. Only time will tell. Try not to think too far ahead though, just take one day at a time, and if you end up falling in love with someone else then go for it. And if you end up developing feelings for your army-boy, then go for it. Just do what feels right here and now.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (22 November 2012):
 IT's way too soon to walk away from any other options...
I think you should live your life and email him but don't promise monogamy. Just be friends for right now.
IT will seem like a long time but 8 months is really not a lot... hang in there.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (22 November 2012):
 I think 1 week is too soon to try an 8 month long long distance monogamous relationship. I'm a bit concerned that if you keep emailing you won't be able to live your life, but if you don't want to throw in the towel yet, go ahead, keep emailing, but don't feel too bad if you do happen to meet someone.
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