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female
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anonymous
writes: I was at a meeting last night and the usual innuendo was going on. After the meeting I went down the pub with two of the men one of which I know quite well being my partner's friend. The other guy had gone outside for a cigarette so when we sat down I thought the friend would sit opposite and doesn't sit next to me that often. However he decided to sit next to me and as we went to sit down I dropped my purse on the floor. I sat down and proceeded to try and drag it back with my foot. He asked what I was doing and I told him so he had a go and when I finally reached it I leant down to pick it up. Of course by doing that I looked like I was going down on him and he said 'what will people say with you doing that'. I laughed it off. As we sat there he obviously decided to stretch out and had his arm around the back of my chair on the radiator just behind but he had moved away slightly but facing inwards towards me. Fair play he was probably stretching out because he was a little cramped but he chose to sit there. I did feel a little awkward when I went to lean back because I didn't want his arm completely around me. He does talk alot of innuendo with me twisting alot of things i say to him but we do get on very well when we talk. Can I assume that all of the above shows he is completely relaxed around me being stretched out or because my partner was not there he may have crossed boundaries slightly. It would be nice to know if he did it again that there was nothing more to it. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (29 November 2012):
 Is this how he usually is? The "sense of humor" ? If so, then he is perhaps just a flirty guy.
Honestly, if something makes you uncomfortable - TELL that person, :"hey, do you mind moving your arm I can't sit back with your arm in the way."
YOU are in charge of how people treat you.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 November 2012):
 sounds to me like he's just a relaxed flirty guy...
if it bothered you when you went to sit back you could have said "fred,could you move your arm please"
that would tell you what his game plan was...
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (29 November 2012):
 He put his arm around you, by the sounds of it. Claiming you as his territory. It's disrespectful to your relationship and to you.
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A
female
reader, glasker  +, writes (29 November 2012):
When you say the 'usual' innuendo you imply that this is a pattern of behaviour for this guy, which he may assume you are ok with given that you are friends and get along pretty well. I'm assuming you've never pulled him up on it before here.
If you are uncomfortable then say so, but be tactful. In his defence if you guys always joke around it can be difficult to know where the boundary is, and he may need a gentle nudge to know that in future you're not ok with it.
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A
female
reader, ImmortalPrincess +, writes (29 November 2012):
 I would say that if his behavior is making you uncomfortable, then yes, he is crossing boundaries. You also have to ask yourself, how would your partner feel about this behavior? If this friend of his acts this way toward you, only when he isn't around, then I would be willing to bet that he is up to no good.
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A
male
reader, bronzed adonis  +, writes (29 November 2012):
 If his normal humor is sexual innuendos to everyone then no problem. If he`s like that to you only, then it sounds to me like he thinks he`s half way there. Be careful.
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