A
male
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:ok im 13 going through puberty and i don't know what im going through.I like girls ( I HAVE A GF) but i look at boys sometimes, girls too.Though I only look when im horny. When I'm horny a lot i do masturbate.I look some gay porn pics Now I need help, because I do not think I'm gay since I really think about girls a lot.So what am I? Or is this situation common amongst guys going through puberty?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2012): Yeah it's very common. I experimented with other guys at your age and I'm straight as an arrow. It's not anything weird to experiment with your sexuality or find the idea of of a penis being stimulated being arousing, it is what it is. I had fun those times, but I don't find guys attractive sexually, I could never have feelings for a guy the way I do a woman but a blow job is a blow job for example it looks the same and the idea of one is always appealing regardless if it's two men you're looking at because it's still just a penis being stimulated. OP don't freak out, you could be bi, you could be gay who knows? You'll know you're gay when you get a crush on a guy the same you do with girls. I never had that, but the gay guys I know said no matter how confused they were they always knew it was only guys they liked because they only ever really had deep crushes and yearned to be with them.
Don't worry about it OP.
You're too young for porn though, try not to use it too much if at all. It's both illegal and can fuck with your head at your age OP, it'll give you completely the wrong idea about sex. It's like watching an action movie and thinking you can just take on a whole army by blindly firing a machine gun from your hip while running straight at people. Yeah, just no.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2012): "So what am I? Or is this situation common amongst guys going through puberty?"
From a 58-year-old former 13-year-old guy: You're curious and horny, like all guys going through puberty and proceeding into teenager-hood.
Very common to be curious about other guys and maybe even experiment a little because at your age guys are more comfortable around other guys. As chigirl says, you're figuring out who you are and one of the ways that adolescents experiencing puberty figure things out is by talking among your age-group peers, guys talk to guys their own age while and girls talk to girls their own age. Very important (but never publicly discussed) stage of discovery and education.
Dirty little secret: 99.9% of guys are curious to see what other guys have and so they will always check each other out (while pretending not to) in locker rooms and at urinals. Key is to be discreet (don't stare) and cover up when necessary. Not to be disrespectful or sacreligious, but I believe God put guys' junk on the outside for a reason: So we'd look at others and others would look at us!
What's different now than when I was 13 is the instant availability of porn via the Internet; dirty pictures much more difficult to come by when I was your age (but we managed to find them). I know it's difficult, but try to limit porn usage and rely on imagination; tailor your fantasies to your own unique individual preferences and never tell anybody else what they are. We're all wired differently and what turns each of us on is in dictated by our own unique individual circumstances and situations.
Sexuality is a very important (and enjoyable) aspect of adolescent and adult life, but learn to moderate your sexual urges and impulses, don't let them control you, and always respect others' values and comfort zones, and don't ever let anyone disrespect yours, and always stick to friends and classmates your own age, anyone significantly older or younger is strictly off limits.
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx  +, writes (21 November 2012):
 Just because you like boys aswell as girls doesn't mean your gay.
I went through the same stage as you, but with girls instead, its a common part of growing up and just discovering who you are.
Its not wrong to be interested in both girls and boys, and it doesn't mean your gay, infact you could just be bisexual.
However when your a teenager you have hormoans running around all over the place! It could just be a phase that might pass or it could just be you discovering your sexuality.
Its really nothing to worry about, sexuality is a strange thing, and even though it might seem like a difficult time it is really just you discovering who you are and it will change and get easier as you get older.
And just because your attracted to men, doesn't mean you would ever want a relationship with another man, and even if you do then its nothing to be ashamed of.
For instance, i'm bisexual, I like both men and women, i'm attracted to women as much as i am to men, however i only ever find myself looking at other women, when as you say i'm in the "mood", however i could never see myself being with another women in a romantic way, and like you I had these same feelings around about the time I was 13, and trust me, you discover your sexuality as you grow older, just do what feels right, theres nothing wrong with being attracted to the same sex.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (21 November 2012):
 It's common for both boys anf girls in their teens, and it's just called being a teenagers. You're figuring out who you are and what you want, no harm in that. When you hit your 20-ties you will have a clearer idea about what you want, although you might want to experiment before you can say "for sure" what you like and don't like. Although, a person changes their preference through their lives. Some can start by liking boys, and then start liking girls. But most are less drastic, and start by liking a certain type of look, such as young men love big breastes women, and then they develop a different idea of what they like, and maybe find out they love a different type of look on a woman.
What I'm saying is, don't lock youself up in a stereotype. Allow yourself to change and experience new things, and don't settle with anything. In life you will always be evolving, changing, and what you like and what you are sexually attacted to will change as you grow older.
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