He thinks it's a date but I just want to be friends. How do I let him down without hurting him?

A female age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hi I've kinda ended up agreeing to a date that I didn't know was a date. A friend of mine has been chatting to me for a while and being really friendly etc. I thought at first he might be flirting but I said I wasn't looking for anything so presumed from then he was just being friendly. Anyway he asked me to the cinema and I thought it would be us and sone other mutual friends but I have just found out it isn't and he was flirting all the while. He's my friend and I only like him as a friend so feel like I've led him on without realising it. I can't go out with him but I don't know whether to go or not. I also don't know how to pet him know we are just friends without hurting him (he's had a really turbulent love life recently). Please can I have some advice I want to keep him as a friend and not hurt him which I think it will if I tell him flat out.

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A female reader, chigirl  +, writes (2 December 2012):

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