A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex boyfriend started texting me last week.He thought I was still seeing someone but when he mentioned it I replied saying that I wasn't. Well it turns out he never got that text and asked me out anyway thinking I still had a boyfriend. Well we had a great time and he was talking about how he'd messed round by some woman and then about someone other girl he went on a date with. So I told him me and this guy I had been seeing each other, but didn't have sex. That we just went out a few times and sat in his flat listening to music and he was a mate more than anything. I told him that I was having a really hard time at the moment too. We ended up sleeping together and he told me all these things like he loved me and always will. But the next day he just completely ignored me. He said he couldn't get over me just seeing another guy straight away and he thought I was lying about the kind of relationship I'd had with him. He thought I was still seeing him when he asked me out but the next day he's upset about it? I was really angry with him and told him how fragile I was at the moment and he's messed my head up and now he's just being incredibly mean saying I was always a liar and he thought he was ready to get back with me but remembered what I used to be like. I've just been sacked from my job for making a massive mistake.I'm going through a custody battle and my house has just been repossessed. I'm so angry with him and when I try explaining how much he's hurt me he's just mean again to me. I really feel so sad and he doesn't care. Why would someone ask a girl out thinking they have a boyfriend and then get all upset about finding out I never actually did anything with him?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2012): Cut this guy off. Don't respond to his texts. Delete him off your cell phone. Delete him off Facebook if you have it. Completely delete him from your life.You have too much on your plate right now to be dealing with a player/user.Get all of your other problems solved and move on with your life.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2012): MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
All he wanted was sex from you, and he got it. The part about asking you out despite him thinking you was with someone else, was just to add to the thrill.
In HIS mind, if he could get YOU to cheat on a boyfriend, it would boost his ego considerably.
I'm afraid your "EX" is full of sh*t, and you've just been used.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (26 November 2012):
 Your ex is a douchebag, you should remember this before talking to him ever again. He just said all these things because he wanted to sleep with you, and yes, it's incredibly selfish of him. But at the same time, you need to protect yourself from idiots and not believe every charming word anyone says. Don't sleep with an ex, it's a very good rule, and this is the reason why. Don't sleep with a man before you are in a committed and official relationship either, for the exact same reason: weed out the users and players.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2012): With all these bad things happenin I did get a bit fed up stuck in the house but the dating thing is getting on my nerves. I'm getting asked out all the time and when I tell people I don't wanna go on a date they get all annoyed with me. I don't understand why I get all this male attention, I don't dress in a tarty way, I don't sleep around. I genuinely had a friendship with this guy I went out with after him and that's all it ever was and he's just calling me a liar. I really don't want another relationship for a long time, I knew he was using me but its completely upset me. I don't understand how anyone could say those things and just lie, he doesn't even care about it. Need to learn from this.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 November 2012):
 It makes sense to me. He was taken aback.
He just wanted to get into your pants again. Maybe on a regular, on-demand basis. It's much better and much simpler , in these cases, if the woman that you want to shag, and who still carries a torch for you, has a boyfriend. Then you get yourself some on the lowdown, no obligations, no expectations, no requests, no drama- that's all for the boyfriend, the lover just gets carefree casual fun.
Imagine finding out that you are instead a free agent, willing and anxious to reconnect ! His jaw must have dropped to the floor and bounced. Reason for which, he had to make a sharp U-turn, and invent some bullshit excuse to disentangle himself, also making it look as if it's all your fault, you are the bad, fickle one that started dating right away , thereby breaking his heart ( yeah right ).
Sorry OP, you got played, now keep your dignity, don't try to explain him that you are hurt because he does not care, and don't try to make him care, because you can't make people care when they don't want, and because you don't need at all a dick like this to care about you.
Start sorting your life out, taking care of your personal and financial business, and try to do anything you may need to recoup from all these stresful events that have befallen you lately. Anything BUT dating, I'd suggest- I think you'd better put your romantic life on hold , until you have gotten your bearings again, and feel better and stronger, otherwise you are sort of bound to lack clarity and perception and incur in other " I need being comforted " type mistakes.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (26 November 2012):
 Hi
Cerberus put it perfectly.
Also ~ you've lost your job, your goinng through a custody battle,your about to lose your home, I would think this man is the least of your problems.
Sort out your life before you date ANYONE
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2012): He was just using you for sex OP and you played right into his hands. I understand you're going through a lot of shit right now but come on you can't be that confused as to not see what just happened?
He played you, got sex and then threw you away.
This is nothing to do with whether you'd slept with another guy OP, that's just his excuse, I can't believe you're actually falling for it too.
He sold you some bullshit lines about being messed around (the pity trick) or if you mean he fooled around with someone else then he played the jealousy trick.
I honestly can't believe you fell for those and are even now asking what happened.
"he told me all these things like he loved me and always will."
Yeah he said that to get into your knickers, you know give you false hope.
No offence OP but you're kind of a sucker who fell for this guys very lame and weak ass ploy to bone you.
And now you even believe this assholes bullshit about why he can't be with you, that whole you're to blame, you're impure you were with another guy shit. Aw come on OP, wake up!
You're not that stupid are you? Can you really not see what he's doing at all?
He's just playing you, right now he's trying to crush you, make you need him so the next time he's feeling horny he can come back and play the "I know you're bad for me but I can't help it" line and bone you again.
Seriously OP, read your question and analyze what happened, pretend it's some other girl and some other guy, can you really not see what is happening?
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