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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Dear Cupid! I don't want to sound immature or stupid or anything like that because I am not, so don't make fun of this question, please.I want to sleep with my boyfriend in couple of weeks for the first time. I'm a virgin but he had a few partners before. And I'm fine with that because he is very gentle and caring with me...And the main thing is bleeding during first sex. I don't mind pain, since I can handle a lot of it, but I'm just curious how much blood can I expect. Yes, I know everyone is different and this is individual, but since I'm really tight (I avoid using tampons because of that, fitting makes me uncomfortable) I would love to hear girls experiences who are like that as well.Since I was reading a lot about first time on the internet I could not ignore the fact that there is many porn videos based on loosing virginity. I'm aware that porn has a little to do with reality, but I just wonder if there is that much blood for real, etc.We are both 21. Thanks in advance :)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2013): I barely spotted but it made me a little sore.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (28 August 2013):
 Uhm, no, porn is just fiction. They add blood there for show, that's not really how the real world is (although so many naive guys seem to believe in porn over what a real woman is like... but that's mainly the immature ones).
I didn't bleed at all my first time, and none of my friends bled either. Just because you're tight when you fit a tampon doesn't mean you will be tight when you have sex. You're not turned on and aroused when you push a tampon up there, but when you're naked in bed with your hot boyfriend who drives you crazy, you will naturally widen out down there and your body prepares for sex. You get lubricated naturally, and it shouldn't hurt at all!
If it hurts, you should stop. Seriously. If it hurts it means you're not turned on. You can expect it to feel very different, but it shouldn't be loads of pain!
And what I came to find is that it isn't actually the hymen that breaks. That can break during anything, fingering, tampons etc. If you had one, it's probably gone by now since you have used tampons (I'm pretty sure mine broke by the first tampon I used, because it felt uncomfortable and didn't sit right.. same as you describe it).
What you bleed from is basically the same that makes you bleed on other places on your skin. Friction. If he pushes in too fast, you're not wet enough etc. It causes friction. The friction punctures the skin, and you can bleed a little. It's just a few droplets, if anything.
You definitely will not need to cover the bed with towels. The only time I ever heard of a man getting his penis covered in blood like on porn is when he's having sex with a woman who's on her period. A friend of mine once had a one night stand with a man while she was on her period, and he saw the blood on the tip of his penis. She got embarrassed, and said she was a virgin... He believed her! That's how much porn can fool you.
But like you said yourself, we're all individuals. Some people bleed a little more than others, I can guess at, but bleeding like in porn is rare. If not unheard of, that looks far more like menstrual blood if you ask me.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (28 August 2013):
 if you are well lubed and have no hymen there should be no bleeding
I did not bleed the first time...
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A
male
reader, Greenmountainrock +, writes (28 August 2013):
I think everyone is different. I've been with two virgins, my first made me a little red. The second didn't bleed at all, but she was in a lot of pain.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2013): I didn't bleed at all! And I didn't feel pain so to speak but I could feel there was something there lol as long as u relax as much as u can u shouldn't be sore and hopefully u won't bleed - everyone is different tho xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2013): I didn't have any blood, it's different with everyone. Ussualy I heard its not as much
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