A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:For about 1 month now, I have started dating a stripper that I met in my neighborhood (she's my neighbor's niece).The relationship so far has been going great, her line of work hasn't interfered with our relationship.So far she has been very honest and open. The question that I have is that she is always broke. She told me that on average, she makes 230/day and she works 5 days/week. That's obviously alot of money for a 22 year-old with no major responsibilities.She always complains about being broke and sometimes even picks up extra shifts.She does have regular bills like rent, utilities, small car payment..... but she makes enough to pay all her bills times 10.I don't understand and don't find it appropriate (yet) to ask her where the money goes. She doesnt seem to be doing drugs, she is actually repulsed by it and doesn't even smoke. I know most will say she is using money on drugs, I dont see it at all. I have been around druggies in the past and she acts nothing like it. She stayed at my house 3 straight days and didn't show 1 ounce of suspicion.I know she is very generous with her money. She insists on paying when we go out, always ask if I needed or wanted anything when she's out shopping....Can anyone share any insight.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 September 2013):
 “but she makes enough to pay all her bills times 10.”
REALLY what are her bills? HOW DO YOU KNOW what her expenses are? My husband was SHOCKED to realize what MY UPKEEP costs and I am a low maintenance woman….
My hair alone averages about 250 every 6 weeks and mine is NOT that long or thick and I do not have extensions or full highlights…
Waxing 150 every 4 weeks and that’s only face and bikini Brazilian not arms or legs or other body parts…
Nails 30 every two weeks
Pedicures 50 every 4-6 weeks…
Not to mention my face creams and make up… easily spend 150 a month on those and as I’ve said I’m fairly low maintenance.
Now let’s talk about shoes and clothes… any clue?
What about medical care. Do you know what her medical care costs?
I agree with Chigirl about TAXES. IF she takes home 230 a day in TIPS then she needs to put away about 30% of that for quarterly taxes.
WHY are you so quick to push the drug references? Do you believe all strippers are drug addicts? My friend has a niece who is in her late 20s and makes her living on the pole… she also TEACHES pole dancing for exercise… it’s hard work and its’ honest work.
I think you are seeking to find something bad about this young lady due to her chosen career.
A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (2 September 2013):
 Apart from what the other aunt's have quite accurately described below, a stripper would typically also have significant expenses on upkeep. She probably spends more on cosmetics and clothes than most, and may also have a gym membership or something.
If she's actually saving her money, though, she's a keeper.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (2 September 2013):
 Taxes? Besides, how do you know how high her bills are? She could be paying off debt. She could be putting money aside to buy a house later on. She could be buying drugs for all we know. Or maybe she loves shopping. Whatever it is, it is best not to speculate or assume anything. You do not know what her bills look like, or that she has no "major responsibilities". For all you know she's paying for her grandma in a requirement home, or has a sibling with special needs etc. Could be many things, and many responsibilities, that you just do not know about yet.
"I know she is very generous with her money. She insists on paying when we go out, always ask if I needed or wanted anything when she's out shopping...."
My best bet is there. This is what her money goes to. She is generous with money. My boyfriend is the same, he's earned the same as me all along, he worked when I was a student, yet I have saved up more money than he has, and he is always broke even though he has always had lower bills than I have had. I have had more bills than him as well, and I even bought my own car and paid for everything while he got a care for free from his parents with them paying insurance, repairs etc.
What did he use his money on? He treated people to things. Bought them dinner at his place, never cooked himself, always got expensive pre-made dinners or take-away, or went to the local gas station where everything is over priced. He bought things for other people, never asked for money back, lent out money that he didn't get back and so on and so on.
He didn't even know the cost of bread until I told him so yesterday. He thought what he was getting was cheap, whereas he's actually buying the most expensive ones in the shop...
I have an ex who also was always broke, but that's another story. He was just carefree in the sense that he never budgeted, never had a clue about what his expenses would be in the near future, spent his money on things here and now rather than think ahead (typical kiddie-syndrome, they see candy and they want the candy now, not later..).
You'll be amazed to see how much money can be spent on every day small luxuries. Does she get coffee from Starbucks often, for example? Well there you go, half her income can easily be spent on Starbucks if she gets one coffee there every day.
But like I said, don't speculate. If she brings the subject up again I would just ask her. "Oh, I'm so broke", "Yeah, so you keep saying. Mind if I ask why that's always so?".
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A
female
reader, ModelCitizen  +, writes (2 September 2013):
I'd just like to throw in another possibility for you. Perhaps she has financial responsibilities that she hasn't discussed with you yet. Maybe she gives money to family or has debts she is trying to pay back? A friend of mine always said she was broke even though she earned the same amount of money as me and I could never understand why (although I never asked her - it's her business). Then one day she confided in me that she had been really irresponsible from 18-20 and had accumulated thousands of pounds worth of credit card debt. So a large portion of her monthly wage was going towards that for a long time. Either that or she could be saving for something in particular, maybe for a house or school fees?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2013): I would guess she's shopping only when necessary, and mostly stashing it away. She's a fiscally responsible stripper.
She isn't flashing cash for a reason. She's smarter than you may think.
You don't have to necessarily see evidence of drugs. People can be functional addicts, and go undetected for years. She may even be helping to support her family, and doesn't wish to discuss that with you.
I'd suspect that she's saving up for expensive surgical augmentation; but I hope she might be planning to go to school.
For certain; she's saving every dime; and eventually, she is going to move out of town. Lock, stock, and barrel. Doing what she does, she'll have to; in order to make any major change in her life-style. She's financially independent, nonetheless.
Some ladies don't tell all their secrets. That way they can more easily manipulate others around them, and plot her strategy without having her plans ambushed. No one can get in her way, or put her business in the street.
You're right. She doesn't have to tell you what she does with her money, if she isn't dipping into yours; or neglecting her personal living-expenses.
Lets hope she is wise with her money, and hopefully she realizes stripping is not one of the best ways to earn it. Once she feels she has earned enough, she may chose another profession. If she is saving, I hope it doesn't take too much time to reach her goal.
She has to earn all she can in a short time, it's not a job where seniority is to your benefit. It's also hard on her; even if she doesn't let it show.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2013): There are many factors.
(1) You might be overgeneralizing her pay and what she has to pay in terms of living expenses. Depending on location and time of year, strippers make a lot of money occasionally, not every night. Their pay fluctuates. (It's been said that strippers make more money when their ovulating.)
$230 was the average/day she gave you. How much of that is true? Did she actually calculate her earnings? How did she calculate them?
(2) She may be spending money on herself. Have you noticed new clothes, new accessories, new anything?
(3) Does she have siblings or parents to take care of?
Perhaps what your girlfriend needs is a budget and savings plan. I think a combination of Option 1 and 2 is what's going on with her being broke.
If you're worried she's spending money on another guy, well, I don't see anything in the information you provided that might hint she is.
Are you asking this question due to insecurity? Do you not trust her? Or are you merely curious as to where her money goes?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2013): "Can anyone share any insight."
Strippers make money by extracting as much cash as they possibly can out of the lonely, vulnerable, desperate men they are in the business to exploit, whether they are officially on the clock or not, either at the club or making private calls.
I can only assume she's setting you up as just another mark, initially paying her way to distract you while planting the seeds of financial need so you will soon be offering handouts.
Sorry, but what makes you think you're any more special than the dozens of other guys she's stringing along for money and other favors? You may naively believe that her line of work doesn't interfere with your "relationship" but it has everything to do with it.
Don't be surprised when she starts charging you by the hour for the time you spend together if she hasn't already started a running tab.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2013): I agree, almost 5k a month is a lot of money for a young person with little bills to pay, and she could be saving quite a bit instead of being broke.
I am just surprised that she makes so little, ussualy strippers in nice clubs make much more. but that's besides the point.
I am not judging her about her occupation, BUT if you think about the choices she made you wouldn't be that surprised about her spending habits. A person who chooses to undress and show her naked body to strangers for money is obviously a person who makes poor life choices. She chooses an easy way to make money by using her youth and Beaty that fades very fast. She doesn't goto school and doesn't think about her future when in just a few years when she is not that young anymore she is not going to have a job.
And then what? It's her personality type. She doesn't think about future. Money that she makes easy come easy go.
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