A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How much asking about a bf's friends is too much? Do you stop asking once he says "I'm going out with a friend/friends? Or is it ok to ask what else they'd be doing? Or ask if who the friends are. Just curious. Many thanks for your replies Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (3 November 2014):
 If my husband said "I'm going out with friends" I would ask which friends...
but he's my spouse...
a LONG TERM boyfriend... who always says who he is with and this time does not say,... red flag.
a new boyfriend... "anyone I know?" and "have a nice time" are about all you can go with....
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 November 2014):
 Have you not MET any of his friends yet? If not maybe it would be a good start.
I agree with Chigirl - you are not ENTITLED (as you put it) to an itinerary or give him a 4rd degree questioning.
But I find it a little odd if he doesn't tell you who he is going out with, where can be a little more iffy as plans can change easily enough.
The group of friends I hung out with in my late teens/20's had a cafe we used to met up at. Everyone knew it and there was rarely any plans made for where we would go during the evening/ night - sometimes we would go clubbing (1/2 clubs) or bar hopping 1-5 bars. But it was never set in stones.
Being curious is OK, it means you are interested. But feeling he needs to let you know ahead of time where he will be and with whom seems a tad... parental. See the difference?
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (3 November 2014):
If you're just asking him out of curiosity, it's fine. If you are grilling him because you are insecure and suspicious, it isn't.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 November 2014):
 It depends on why you ask. You are not entitled to anything, as you do not own your partner. So if you ask because you think you have a right to know, then you ask for too much. If you ask because you are curious and wont think anything of it other than just showing an interest in his life, then ask away.
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