A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I don't think my boyfriend and I will move in together, should I walk away ?. He has bipolar disorder. He recently moved into a new place. He doesn't seem to want to move in with me, and it could be difficult to live with him, as he has so many mood changes. We have been together for three years. It doesn't seem like we have much of a future. I love the new area that he has moved too and would love to live there. I love him a lot, but some things do stress me out. I know this might sound strange, but there is nothing in his flat!. He sleeps on a mattress on the floor, doesn't have a tv (he just listens to the radio), and he has no oven and no hot water. He has electricity. Obviously, we wouldn't live that way if we lived together. He hasn't even decorated the place either.i don't know how he can live like that ,but I understand that he is ill. He also ignores me when I try to call him on the phone sometimes too (that's usually when he is with his friends).
View related questions:
moved in Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 November 2014):
 I fear you are beating a very dead horse here.
You have been with him 3 years
he just moved into his own place and you were not invited... he's not going to change that.
IN addition, if he's not properly medicated and treated for his bi-polar then his mood swings and his issues are really his own fault as he chooses not to try to fix himself as best he can.
He only wants you when it's convenient for him. This is shown to you by the fact that he will ignore you when it's not in his best interest or desire to talk to you. That makes him childish, immature and selfish.
"I love the new area he is in" so move there with a roommate... do not try to salvage a bad relationship so you can live in an area you like.
A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (5 November 2014):
Blech, move on. I see nothing but misery if you try to have a future with him. Find a guy that's full of life and fun.
...............................
A
female
reader, mightaphodite +, writes (5 November 2014):
Dating someone whose bipolar is difficult, but not impossible. Living with that person is more difficult than just dating them.First of all you must at all cost avoid being his shrink. You are not there to cure him. You have to be strong and don't let him guilt you into doing things (I'm not saying that he will or that he does so on purpose). You have to understand what being bipolar means and how sick he really is. is he prescribed any meds? Does he stick to his therapy? It can sometimes make all the difference...Maybe he's being noble and is protecting you or he's living exactly how it sits him. Either way, the answer is still the same. He doesn't want you there. And it wouldn't be fair from you to expect him to change the way he lives, just because it's weird (no hot water?!). Maybe its suits him. Maybe it soothes him. Btw, I would still give you the same answer even if he weren't bipolar. The fact that he is brings just another layer of responsibility.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 November 2014):
 Why do you dream of living with him wheb he obviously does not want to live with you? You said yourself, there is no future here. His lack of furniture is the least of your problems. His unwillingness to have you there is making it a dead end. As well as the many other things you mentioned.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2014): If your goal and desire is to live with a man then yes you might as well walk away now. It is always going to hurt to end the relationship, and the longer you leave it, the harder it will be. The longer you are with a man you will never live with, the longer time you will have NOT meeting the man you WOULD live with. If you don't have a goal to live with your man, and you are happy and content to live on your own for the rest of your life, then I see no reason to end the relationship, if it is otherwise happy and healthy. I believe it is fine to live on your own if that is your choice, a lot of people do.
...............................
|
