A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, im not sure if im just going nuts or what but i swear my best friend is screwing with my head.he knows im gay and he knows im in love with him, but he has a girlfriend who he is on and off with constantly.when we're just chilling out or whatever he'll put his legs on me while im lying down and my arm will be VERY close to his "privates" and occasionally i'll start moving my arm about because i can feel what i feel down there. obviously, i know he enjoys this because he wont let me sit down anywhere else, he just wants me to lie down. I've felt him have erections by doing this quite a few times, but the other night was something else.I started my usual thing and i felt him start knocking one out on top of me! obviously at that point i wasn't going to tell him to stop, then as soon as i moved my head (as i wasn't facing towards him) he just stopped and moved away.Now this guy hates anything at all gay (even though he knows i'm gay). But how can someone do that with someone who is madly in love with him and still make out nothings happened (he's never mentioned anything about my arm being there or him having an erection).I know it's easy for people to say just stay away from him but if you've been in love you know how hard it is to keep away from that person.Is he just scared of experimenting or is he literally just screwing with my head?
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male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (29 February 2012):
 selfish behaviour on his part.
he probably does find you attractive but he's not available for you to have a relationship. i've been on the receiving end of "straight" mens curiosity and it never goes anywhere and ends up with me feeling shit even after having oral sex with them. when you have sexual situations with your friends it always messes your head up.
unless he's willing to whip it out, tell you he likes you and that he will leave his girlfriend you've got nothing. and even if that happens how could you trust him not to cheat on you...
A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (27 February 2012):
 HI
He doesn't hate everything gay, he just hates the fact his getting feelings towards you and doesn't want to be gay. His struggling with his emotions, but thats his problem to be cheating behind his GF back is very wrong, and to use you has his experiment is even worse. He dont deserve to have you as a friend. I would cut all ties with him, he will really mess your mind up, there is someone out there for you who will treat you with all the love and effection you should have in a relationship.
MANDY X
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2012): He an insensitive, egotistical jerk. No one that has a committed relationship should be putting himself into a situation of high sexual tensions. Its cheating period.
You are not in love with this dishonest, cheating jerk. You and his GF deserve better than him.
I say stop playing these games with him and find a REAL LOVING, RELIABLE, Emotionally Available, HONEST Man to adore.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (27 February 2012):
 He's being rather selfish you know. He takes advantage of you, thats what he is doing. He knows you are in love with him, and you allow this behaviour from him. If you were a platonic friend, imagine if you were not gay, or if you were a girl.. would this behaviour have been acceptable in a friendship? No, it wouldn't. He is crossing the line because he knows you will not stop him. Hence he is taking advantage of the situation.
Why? Because he can maybe. Because he is curious maybe. Because he might be bisexual or bicurious, but is afraid to admit it. Who knows. But he is cheating... because he has a girlfriend. He shouldn't be sexual with others, even if they are men, when he is in a relationship. So he is showing a lack of respect to his girlfriend.
You need to establish what you want and where you want to be. Do you want to be taken advantage of by him? Do you want to be his thing on the side, as he will continue to give his love to his girlfriend, and perhaps only "experiment" like this with you behind her back?
I think if you don't want to stay away from him at least ask him what he is doing and why. Where he thinks this sort of behaviour will lead, and also tell him that unless he is single then he shouldn't be doing these things with you. He has a girlfriend that he needs to respect. Just because you are a man doesn't make it any different, cheating is still cheating.
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